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H2Andy:
Me: hi... my name is H2Andy (hi H2Andy) and i am addicted to lobsters

(silence in room)

Somebody: Ah... very sorry, H2Andy... this is group support for people addicted to mobsters... not lobsters...

Me: but it rhymes!!! it rhymes!!! for the love of alll that's sacred, it rhymes!!!

ROFL
 
There once was a diver named Neil
For whom underwater critters held great appeal
He spied translucent jellies
And crabs with full bellies
As he dove happily and with zeal...

There is a stubborn diver called Heather
Who really really likes to complain about winter weather
She shivers and she shakes
After every dive she makes
And now she is considoring drysuit undergarments made of goose feather...

I know a guy so skinny he wears a ladies drysuit
Despite what everybody says he thinks it's rather cute :rolleyes:
Besides being skinny he's also a pest
And he'll be quiet if he really knows what's best
Or else he'll get acquainted with the toe of my boot!

Dr. Don went diving one day
Way out beyond the mouth of Narragansett Bay
He checked out the u-boat
Then he had a nice float
And exclaimed: 3' vis is a great dive, wouldn't you say?!
 
a diver who feasted for Christmass
decided to spearfish for seabass
he tried all his wit
but his suit did not fit
on account of his very large figure
 
Inside the shark cage divers Nancy and Sally did hide
No matter how much I begged and tormented them to venture outside
They cried and they fussed
They were worried thier hair might get mussed! :rolleyes:
Finally I gave up and swam off with a beautiful shark by my side...

There once was a flatlander called Andy
Who loudly stated: "QUAHOGS AIN'T SO DANDY!"
Now this statement invoked some Yankee ire
Good ol' Andy found himself not in the pan but in the fire
And as such decided a get away plan would have come in handy...

In New England there are too many divers that are male
And to make matters worse they are all unattractive, pasty, and pale :yuck:
Furthermore they are macho and crass
Not one of them is worth his weight in brass
To escape them away to someplace warm I shall now sail!

There once was a quarry rat called Dave
He was completely bald, no need for a shave
Of his p-valve he was mightily proud
Which he exclaimed good and loud
To modesty he was no slave...
 
Gidds:
In New England there are too many divers that are male
And to make matters worse they are all unattractive, pasty, and pale :yuck:
Furthermore they are macho and crass
Not one of them is worth his weight in brass
To escape them away to someplace warm I shall now sail!

*blushes* Awwww, thanks! You really know how to flatter a guy!
 
Roflmao!

Every single one of my dive buddies is a hoser
I might go so far as to call at least one of them a poser!
One is taking off for Atlanta
While the other one is still waiting for his wetsuit from Santa
As far as getting to go diving I am still no closer!
 
H2Andy:
a diver who feasted for Christmass
decided to spearfish for seabass
he tried all his wit
but his suit did not fit
on account of his very large figure

Nice Andy - Christmass seabass lol! I notice the Lobstah Divahs are rockin' the place right now, especially the Giddster. I love it!!
 
H2Andy:
Me: hi... my name is H2Andy (hi H2Andy) and i am addicted to lobsters

(silence in room)

Somebody: Ah... very sorry, H2Andy... this is group support for people addicted to mobsters... not lobsters...

Me: but it rhymes!!! it rhymes!!! for the love of alll that's sacred, it rhymes!!!

Mmm....delicious mobsters....

There once was a diver named Bruce
Who wore his long hose like a noose
When I ran out of air
He was caught in its snare
Now he wears is more loose!

A diver once said "What the heck!
There's an octopus out in that wreck!
I stuck my head through the hull,
He peeled my mask off my skull
And gave my cheek a quick peck!"
 
A diver whose suit was vermillion
would tally up fish by the million
"So many!" she said
"I can't add in my head!
"How many fish are in a brazilian?"
 

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