"Good Buddy" or "Dive Natzi" ??????

[DandyDon]

DiveMom, first I am sorry we didn't meet in Monterey the other weekend.

Second, here is what I suggest:

1. You take Rescue class (name changes depends on the organization) and perhaps even get your husband to sign for it as well.

2. Take extra life insurance on your husband. (Hey, your kids dad might not be the most responsible person but at least if something happens you and kids will be taken care of.)

3. Get your kids on a track towards Rescue class. If your husband is not taking it and even if he does and doesn't learn at least they will be more comfortable when around of such behavior.

4. Get yourself a pony bottle and regulator and sling it all the time.

Yep, all that. All you need is the cheap Accident Insurance that covers scuba diving beyond Rec limits.

I have emailed and asked to meet the LDS owner to discuss his fathers viewpoint and what I see as essential training if I am going to put our oldest boy in the class.

You're still considering that shop?

4. I carry a spare air 3cf all the time. and the kids will get one for Chrismas along with training for it. I also "drag along" my old SSS [surface support station] which is my float with a reel and a 20cf tank and 2 regs hung between 15-20 f depending on the dive when with the kids.

Uh, Spare Airs are a misguided purchase; see plenty of threads discussing them. Ebay that, rig the 20 cf as a pony and carry it. Don't teach the kids Spare Air.

 

[DiveMom1]

It depends on what happend when I talk to the shop owner. I though saving a couple hours commute in each direction for classes would be a good idea... maybe it's just not worth it.

I really want to do a rescue class and had planned on the local SSI stress and rescue for getting myself geared but... no idea what my next step will be. Hubby won't even dive with Rick anymore since he woudn't let him continue diving after they had to "rescue" him from himslef on the AOW deep dive. Rick put him on 02 and he was fine.. [after 30hrs] just ticked he was beached [for his own safety I might add] otherwise he'd have gone right back in despite the serious nature of the incident!

My hubby just doesn't really "GET IT" that the risk can be life threatening or altering!

 

[DiveMom1]

Uh, Spare Airs are a misguided purchase; see plenty of threads discussing them. Ebay that, rig the 20 cf as a pony and carry it. Don't teach the kids Spare Air.

Just curious as to why? I do tag the 20 pony [or as the kids call it my "stallion"] along when I dive with the kids, or am doing a deep dive with a buddy.. Can you explain whats wrong with the spare air? I've always carried one but never had to use it myself.

 

[DandyDon]

Just curious as to why? I do tag the 20 pony [or as the kids call it my "stallion"] along when I dive with the kids, or am doing a deep dive with a buddy.. Can you explain whats wrong with the spare air? I've always carried one but never had to use it myself.

There are many threads on why SAs are bad. And that drag station of yours won't go where you need it either. Convert the 20 cf to a pony.

 

[scubadobadoo]

Btw dive Mom, I like your attitude and honesty. I should have added this remark to my somewhat tongue and cheek post earlier in this thread. I would let MY kids dive with YOU any day. Maybe not your husband though. Take care!

 

[DiveMom1]

Btw dive Mom, I like your attitude and honesty. I should have added this remark to my somewhat tongue and cheek post earlier in this thread. I would let MY kids dive with YOU any day. Maybe not your husband though. Take care!

That is the highest compliment I've ever recieved. I'm very "picky" about who my kids can dive with..

 

[TSandM]

DiveMom, I empathize. I didn't dive with my husband for six months after I got certified, because we couldn't agree on how to execute a dive. He thought I was a Nazi, and I thought he was completely inconsiderate. Although we have come to a better middle ground, he's still often way too unpredictable for my comfort level, and I'm too hidebound for his. We are often happier diving with other people.

Luckily, Monterey is full of people who I think meet your criteria for good buddies. You need to hook your husband up with some spearfishermen, or as Bob says, buy him a pony bottle and let him go off and do his own thing, since it seems that that is what he is in effect doing anyway.

 

[fnfalman]

There's no reason why one should dive with a buddy that makes one uncomfortable; even when that buddy is a spouse, a sibling or an offspring. You can all go dive as a family. It doesn't mean that you have to dive as a family. Everybody split up and dive with somebody else.

Diving with the same buddies all the time leads to complacency. When you dive with other buddies, you're going to learn new things be they good or bad.

 

[ZenDiver.3D]

Last weekend I was talking with a Dive Con about our oldest starting OW in a couple of weeks. I asked if buddy/hubby and I could audit the class. He wanted to know why so I explained my hubby had been resort certified in 2 days and had no clue about the "buddy system" about "pre Dive" checks or any kind of self or buddy assistance.

He asked if I had any specifics.. and I explained sever instances where these had been an issue on a dive and could have been much more serious if we hadn't immediatly aborted the dive.

He asked what I expected as a buddy and from a buddy... Well, first and foremost was to be there to precheck equipment, dive plan, communication, emergency procedures.. etc.

He told me that I just wanted to "spoil all the fun of diving" ????

When I told him my buddy/hubby generally took off as soon as we were in the water he called me a dive natzi!! Asking what I expected "What, do you expect him to be in sight on the whole dive!!!" When I responded "YES" he was downright nasty saying that was selfish and evil and he was glad I wasn't his buddy!

Am I waaaaaaaaaaaay off base here? I realize most of my buddy habits were learned from a scientific research team.. but ... does staying within line of viz make me a controling natzi dive buddy???

This has been bugging the heck out of me.. and of course my hubby ate it up! Now he feels justified only making sure we are in the same ocean!

Divecon is a moron, and I would never let him work for me. Move your kids' training to Jim's.

Your dive con is an idiot and needs to go back to OW class.

yeppers.

I have not really put the kids in the middle here. The kids aren't really comfortable to comfront dad.. but aren't comfortable to dive with him either. Since these kids are all minors [and brought up to be respectful] they don't want to hurt or upset dad by not going diving with him. We ALL make a point of going over plans for our next dive [even a week or more in advance] and letting him hear what the planning is and should be. He just still thinks it's silly.

Our oldest would not hesitate for a heartbeat to jump into a dive with dad under the auspices of having fun. The younger ones were certified the same weekend my hubby tried to take the AOW class and shot up from 110' and laid on the beach on 02 for an hour. FRankly I didn't need to say anything to the kids, they came to me and asked if they could dive with me instead of dad. Of course they are more afraid something will happen to dad and they won't be able to handle it... I have both fears.

I love my hubby, but I would Never let him Near the kids in the water, if he acted like this. He is an incident waiting to happen. And You need to be prepared for the fact that it will. There are no old bold divers for a reason. They either die or kill someone else.

First off.. I have advised him to take a "full OW" course.. but since he is certified he believes it is a waste of time and money.

As far as following him.. I AM.. and it sucks. When it comes to endangering myself so he can be "Macho"... not going to happen. I have not been trained in wreck penetration or cave diving and will not follow him in. The last time he entered a cave, I babysat the enterance until I was too low on air to stay down... I surfaced to find him back on the boat after he discovered a backdoor. Sorry, I'm not following him in and won't let the kids either. If that makes me the bad buddy.. so be it!

Obviously, he doesn't care for your wellbeing. You will have to do that. Don't dive with him, and don't let your kids.

There's no reason why one should dive with a buddy that makes one uncomfortable; even when that buddy is a spouse, a sibling or an offspring. You can all go dive as a family. It doesn't mean that you have to dive as a family. Everybody split up and dive with somebody else.

Diving with the same buddies all the time leads to complacency. When you dive with other buddies, you're going to learn new things be they good or bad.

So true.

Did he manage to get his AOW, after he blew up to the surface? I hope not. But the key here, is more training for him. He needs it badly. Or he needs to stay topside. You, should take the Rescue Course. It will make you a better diver and give you more skills you will inevitably need. Good luck to you, and keep us updated. We want to hear From you, not about you. OK?

 

[Jax]

I have emailed and asked to meet the LDS owner to discuss his fathers viewpoint and what I see as essential training if I am going to put our oldest boy in the class. [muchless continuing ed I'd planned for other kids] I know he heard the "loud" conversation and dress down I got from his father [who's also one of his instructors] .. as did all of the divers on the grassy knoll that day. I was practally in tears and hopping mad at the same time, so maybe he expects to hear from me.

You CANNOT still be considering that LDS for your children's training!?!? Go elsewhere (Jim's?) if for no other reason than to be sure the LDS understands your concerns! Please do not enable the LDS or your hubby's behavior by continuing to frequent their business, or dive with hubby.