"Good Buddy" or "Dive Natzi" ??????

[MXGratefulDiver]

The last time he entered a cave, I babysat the enterance until I was too low on air to stay down... I surfaced to find him back on the boat after he discovered a backdoor.

If it really happened that way then you need to stop diving with him ... before he leads you into a situation you can't get yourself out of.

I cannot believe someone would be that careless of his own wife.

Sorry to say it, but your husband should not be diving ... no one who would do what you described should be.

You really need to say "Honey, I love you ... but I won't dive with you."

Seriously, DiveMom ... I DO NOT want to be reading about either you or him in the Incidents and Accidents forum ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[lowviz]

.............The last time he entered a cave, I babysat the enterance until I was too low on air to stay down... I surfaced to find him back on the boat after he discovered a backdoor. .................

He has obviously found a way to compensate for the fact that you know what the hell you are doing and he doesn't have a clue. Stop asking questions, you know the answer.

It will remain funny to him until someone gets hurt.

 

[scubadobadoo]

Having your dive buddy in site is only important if you need him/her to save your life. Other than that, tell them it's okay to run off alone. Just make sure to "ESP" them back if you are dying.

But seriously, if your dive con really said that and really meant it then it is time to look elsewhere for a buddy. I would rather my dog dive with my kids.

On a side but not totally side note...Remember that Dad who let those kids get in that mini-van with that mom who proceeded to kill kids while driving drunk? You have to ask yourself if the Dad who let the Mom drive off with kids knowing she was insanely drunk is also at fault no?

 

[Crush]

This has been bugging the heck out of me.. and of course my hubby ate it up! Now he feels justified only making sure we are in the same ocean!

DiveMom1 - I am on your side. Let's call your attention to detail and safety the professional diver.

However, please consider that your hubby's diving style is not unique to him. Let's call him the fun diver.

Fun diver and professional diver are compatible when drinking, snorkeling or when diving above some arbitrary limit. The limit may be 30 feet (no DCS), or 50 feet (the depth from which an emergency ascent is not likely to result in deep water blackout).

However, I believe that below that arbitrary depth fun diver and professional diver have to either compromise in favour of professional diver or find different buddies. If the latter, consider taking out life insurance on him.

 

[lowviz]

................ Let's call him the fun diver. ..............

-or passive aggressive.

 

[Web Monkey]

He asked what I expected as a buddy and from a buddy... Well, first and foremost was to be there to precheck equipment, dive plan, communication, emergency procedures.. etc.

He told me that I just wanted to "spoil all the fun of diving" ????

Your DiveCon is a moron. You might want to let the shop owner know, since it's likely that he'll send him right out the door.

The DiveCon needs to be promoting the "company line" even if he thinks it's stupid. In the case of SSI, this means doing all the things taught in the OW class, which includes predive checks, and all the various underwater skills, which include being a good buddy and maintaining a reasonable buddy distance.

On the other hand, your husband isn't far behind on the "getting-you-killed-o-meter"

You and your husband should sign up for the "Stress and Rescue" class with a very experienced instructor, and in private make sure you tell the instructor about the problem with your husband ditching you so he can address the topic of "buddy distance" and skills in class without embarrassing your husband, or making it look like it was your idea.

If your husband still ditches you after the S&R class, you should refuse to dive with him anymore, since at some point one or both of you will end up injured or dead.

"Buddy distance" needs to be shorter than however far you can get with no air in your lungs, since running out of air is typically noticed when you inhale and there's nothing there.

Terry

 

[DiveMom1]

The ironic part is how "safety concious" it has made the younger kids. They cringe with dad's dive style. On just about every dive we practice some safety manuver. Low on air, buddy breathing, OOA, lost weight, lost equipment... something so that "IF" anything actually happens they will know what to do "instead of panic".

I've already told hubby that until I find another regular dive buddy [several friends now in OW classes] the kids and I will just putter on our pleasure dives. I have twice the fun showing the kids all the "wonders of water" and the creatures of the deep. We are not only studying a UW sign language course but always have our magnetic slates and even a checklist for all the local fishes, plants and nudies. I love diving with the kids.. although I still will only go with 1 at a time as I don't feel comfortable with multiples yet. Yep, my comfort level not theirs.

I have played "back seat diver" once.. eek! They were a buddy team and I just followed behind them. They did not carefully monitor depth.. or direction... I finally stepped in and called that dive! They need more one on one for my comfort. I try to let them lead our dive... with me as their "Bubba" buddy and they need to get me back safetly. LOL It's fun for both of us... and builds their skills and confidence [and my confidence in them]

 

[Crush]

You really need to say "Honey, I love you ... but I won't dive with you."

Seriously, DiveMom ... I DO NOT want to be reading about either you or him in the Incidents and Accidents forum ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

For all of you who have read this comment by NWGratefulDiver (post #31, above) and agree with him, please offer a thanks on his post (not this one). See post #31 above.

 

[AfterDark]

Your correct to be put off by those remarks. If they were made to me I wouldn't like them either. You sound like you can talk to your kids and they'll go along as long as they don't confront Dad. I could be wrong but that's the impression I get. If that's true maybe you can workout a dive plan with the kids where they become your link to your husband through a communication chain with you at the back of the group? Workout some hand signals and audio signals by tapping on your tanks. Here in New England we have very bad vis most time 10' is consider a good day. 20' is amazing and 30' is rare. I use a audio signals for commo when my buddy is out of sight which is most of the time.
It sounds like your husband wants to dive and expects that you'll keep up, if you want everyone to dive together you need to take action. I could be way off base here but just my thoughts. Wow! I just read post 31 as I said I could be way off base here........

 

[DandyDon]

Heck of a signature there Don, where did you find that?

I copied it from someone's post sometime. Yours? I used it verbatim until someone with better English than mine corrected a word.

First off.. I have advised him to take a "full OW" course.. but since he is certified he believes it is a waste of time and money.

As far as following him.. I AM.. and it sucks. When it comes to endangering myself so he can be "Macho"... not going to happen. I have not been trained in wreck penetration or cave diving and will not follow him in. The last time he entered a cave, I babysat the enterance until I was too low on air to stay down... I surfaced to find him back on the boat after he discovered a backdoor. Sorry, I'm not following him in and won't let the kids either. If that makes me the bad buddy.. so be it!

It sounds like he does have an OW card and cards beyond? By the "two day resort course" I suppose you mean he studied in advance, then did his check out dives at a resort? That happens.

I've seen your discussion on his diving before and really do hope you'll refuse to dive with him at all, and/or develop your own solo-diving gear and skills. Marriage counseling may be needed to get thru the holidays.

If it really happened that way then you need to stop diving with him ... before he leads you into a situation you can't get yourself out of.

I cannot believe someone would be that careless of his own wife.

Sorry to say it, but your husband should not be diving ... no one who would do what you described should be.

You really need to say "Honey, I love you ... but I won't dive with you."

Seriously, DiveMom ... I DO NOT want to be reading about either you or him in the Incidents and Accidents forum ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

:medal:

The ironic part is how "safety concious" it has made the younger kids. They cringe with dad's dive style. On just about every dive we practice some safety manuver. Low on air, buddy breathing, OOA, lost weight, lost equipment... something so that "IF" anything actually happens they will know what to do "instead of panic".

I've already told hubby that until I find another regular dive buddy [several friends now in OW classes] the kids and I will just putter on our pleasure dives. I have twice the fun showing the kids all the "wonders of water" and the creatures of the deep. We are not only studying a UW sign language course but always have our magnetic slates and even a checklist for all the local fishes, plants and nudies. I love diving with the kids.. although I still will only go with 1 at a time as I don't feel comfortable with multiples yet. Yep, my comfort level not theirs.

I have played "back seat diver" once.. eek! They were a buddy team and I just followed behind them. They did not carefully monitor depth.. or direction... I finally stepped in and called that dive! They need more one on one for my comfort. I try to let them lead our dive... with me as their "Bubba" buddy and they need to get me back safetly. LOL It's fun for both of us... and builds their skills and confidence [and my confidence in them]

Are you Rescue trained with a pony bottle? Take care of the kids, but who takes care of you in an emergency?