Divers Song Parodies

[daisho]

Well my first try and not the best but it goes to Pearl Jam - Even Flow


Freezing. Rests while waiting on the line. Again.
Oh, Felling mabey he'll see a little better set of dives, Ooh Yeah.
Oh, hanging seeing faces time again ain't that familiar. Ooh yeah.
Oh, He can't help when his gear's in disarray. Ooh.

Even flow. That's what he wants down below.
Oh, he don't know so he uses apex anyway
Oh, someday yet he'll buy his gear again.
Gear again. Gear again

 

[dc4bs]

I was listening to Peter Gabriel the other day and this sort of jumped out at me.

to the tune of San Jacinto

"During Deco"
-------------
Dry-suit - bubles rising - hissing breath from second stage
Around me - divers rome - deco bottles - hang from rings
Topside - cold air - stand, wait for rising sun
In the water - eagle rays - seagull calling - dive has begun
Slowly going deeper - I feel it in my nose and in my ears
It feels like flying - slow - letting go of stress
Divemaster Dan lead me down to wreck - sealife abounds - so far down
Broken up ship - each deck - port holes - so many things to see - don't have time
Follow others around the bow - watch buddy pairs make diver hand signs
Back to the anchor line - look up start ascent - begin to climb
A rattle in the old man's sack - lobster for the pot - keep climbing up
Way above us floats the boat - white wind blow

I hold the line - the anchor line keeps me from drifting off
During Deco - I hold the line
During Deco - the boredom bites and plankton fills my sight - I hold the line
And the tears roll down my swollen cheek - think I've got a squeez - getting colder
I hold the line - I hold the line
During Deco - slowly rise up closer to the sun - to the sun

We will dive - in the sea
We will breathe - from the regs
We will drink - lots of water
We will deco - hold the line

 

[The Chairman]

With my apologies to the one who wrote Day-o and ALL the thousands of artists who have sung this... and of course to the dear reader who has once more choosen to exposer themselves to the writings of a depraved mind...


De-co
Me say de-e-e-co-o
Got a deco obligation,
But I want to go home!

Hey Deco Planner,
Plan me out a deco
(Got a deco obligation,
But I want to go home!)
I went too deep,
Now I'm feeling like a gecko!
(Got a deco obligation,
But I want to go home!)


De-co
Me say de-e-e-co-o
Got a deco obligation,
But I want to go home!

Hey Mr TriMixDiver,
Why you dive so long now?
(Got a deco obligation,
But you want to go home!)
You feelin' so cold,
you're 'bout to have cow now,
(Got a deco obligation,
But you want to go home!)

Its 40 meters,
50 Meters,
60 meters,
MORE!
(Got a deco obligation,
But you want to go home!)
If it weren't for all this deco,
There's so much I could explore!
(Got a deco obligation,
But you want to go home!)

Deco!
Me say de, me say de, me say de-e-e-co!
I got a deco obligation,
But I wa-a-a-a-a-a-nt to go HOME!

 

[The Chairman]

OK... picture this! My son and I are all alone in this huge 26 ft truck as we make our way over the highway to Gandma's house, with all of her personal belongings. We are punching our way through Hot-Lanta, with one 12 year old, and the other wishing he were still 12 years old. Well, the son lets "one" rip, and says "Sorry dad, but I think we lost a tire", and you have the beginning of a highly spirited re-encactment of "Blazing Saddles". Now add to this mix that incredibly annoying song "Safety Dance" which has seemed to develop a cult following as of late and we wrote what follows...

To the Tune of "Safety Dance"... with no apologies to anyone this time (I think it's an improvement).

"Safety Fart"

You can fart if you want to...
But leave no trace behind!
Cause if you fart a fart,
That leaves a greasy mark,
Well, you're no friend of mine!

You can fart, you can fart,
Everybody's doin' the dance!
You can fart, yes, you can fart
Go ahead and take the chance!
It's a safety fart!

We can fart if we want to,
But it can't smell really bad!
Cause, if fart a fart,
Thats smelling really tart
Well, that's really bad!

Oh, we can fart, we can fart,
Everybody's passing the gas!
Yes, we can fart, oh we can fart,
People are starting to laaaaaaaaaaaaugh!
It's a safety fart... oh it's a safety far---art!
It's a safety far-yart!! (ad nauseum)

Yes, I can believe that my son and I wrote this mess, but I still can't believe that I am posting it! :tease: BTW, check out Wreckmania3 for more parodies (hopefully today).

 

[TexasMike]

"Well, the son lets "one" rip, and says "Sorry dad, but I think we lost a tire","

ROFLMAO! Me thinks you've created the next Seinfeld/Robin Williams hybrid.


--TM (otherwise known as the Waco Kid)

 

[TexasMike]

We need some more challenges for you Pete....

Johnny Cash, "Ring of Fire", "I Walk the Line"

"Chatanooga Choo Choo" (pardon me sir? are you a decompression diver?)

Men at Work, "Down Under"

The Green Beret Anthem

And bonus points for this one, Rocky Horror's "Time Warp"


--TM ("It was great when it all began, I was a regular Frankie fan")

 

[dc4bs]

How about this?

Suzanne Vega - Toms diner
-----------------------------------

"Toms Diveshop"

I am standing in the morning
In the dive shop on the corner

I am waiting at the counter
For the man to fill the air tank

And he fills it only halfway
And before I even argue

He is looking out the window
At somebody coming in

"It is always nice to see you"
Says the man behind the counter

To the woman who has come in
She?s returning rental gear

And I look the other way
As she is paying off her bills and

I'm pretending not to see them and
Instead I browse the racks

I open up the paper
There's a story of a diver

Who had found a gold medallion
It was no one I had heard of

And I'm looking through the cases
And checking out computers

When I'm feeling someone watching me
And so I raise my head

There's a diver on the outside
Looking inside does she see me?

No she does not really see me
Cause she sees her own reflection

And I'm trying not to notice
That she?s putting on her wetsuit

And while she's organizing gear
Her hair is getting wet

Oh, this rain it will continue
Through the morning as I'm listening

To the bells of channel bouys
I am thinking of the dive...

I finish up my air fill
It's time to catch the boat

 

[ckharlan66]

Texas Mike,

I know this isn't in the league with many other but do I get partial credit on the bonus points.

Input will be appreciated.

The Time Warp



Riff Raff It's astounding
Time is fleeting
Madness takes its toll
But listen closely


Magenta Not for very much longer

I've got to keep control
I remember doing the Safety Stop
Breathing those moments when
The boredom would hit me


Riff and Magenta And the boat would be calling

Chorus Let's do the Safety Stop again
Let's do the Safety Stop again


Criminologist It's just a anchor line to the left

Chorus And then a anchor line to the right

Criminologist With your hands on your guages

Chorus You bring your knees in tight
But it's the last few minutes
That really drives you insane
Let's do the Safety Stop again
Let's do the Safety Stop again


Magenta It's so dreamy
Oh, fantasy free me
So you can't see me
No, not at all
In Zero Vis
With voyeuristic intention
Well secluded, I see all


Riff Raff With a bit of a task

Magenta You're into the Safety stop

Riff Raff And nothing can ever be the same

Magenta You're bummed out on surfacing

Riff Raff Like you're under sedation

Chorus Let's do the Safety Stop again
Let's do the Safety Stop again

 

[keralucu]

This feels like the old days - coming in to work on Monday morning to find new parodies from NetDoc to brighten my day. (By the way, Pete - way back in the 80s I was HUGE fan of Safety Dance!!)

dc4bs - love Tom's Diveshop... I have a CD that has about 15 different versions of the original on it...

chad - Time Warp (Rocky Horror) is another great favourite of mine - good job on the lyrics.

Thanks y'all ut:

 

[The Chairman]

My daughter and I used to dance to that song (back when she still thought that Dad was cool). She would run to the door screaming "daDEEE, daDEEE!"

And Mike, here is a reprint of one of your requests...

Here is my latest, with apologies to the Man in Black, Johnny Cash, and all those who enjoyed "I Walk the Line"...


I keep a close watch on that guage of mine,
I keep my eyes wide open all the time,
I keep a watch out for the things that bind
because I dive,
I feel alive!

I find neutral bouyancy an easy thing to do,
I wash all my gear when the dive is through,
Yes, I'll admit that I look a fool to you!
Because I dive,
I feel alive!

In daylight or the dark of night,
I find more training helps me do it right!
And it makes it more likely I'll survive!
Because I dive,
I feel alive!