Divers Song Parodies

[dc4bs]

To the tune of I can't drive 55! by Sammy Hagar

I can't dive 55! (as sung by an OW diver)
-
Double tanks of TriMix and two Deco Gas, hey!
Well there's too many divers, I can't pass, no!
So I tried my best illegal move
Well, to heck with waitin, goin over the side again!

Gonna dive me down to 325
Post my face "he was last seen alive"
Take my cert-card, all that jive
I can't dive 55! oh no!
Uh!

So I signed my name, diver 24, hey!
Yah the Captain said, "It's crowded today!"
We're gonna throw you in on a wreck way off-shore.
Looked me in the eye, said, "Don't dive deep no more!"
I said Yea!, Oh yeah!

Gonna dive me down to 325
Post my face "he was last seen alive"
Take my cert-card, all that jive
I can't dive 55!

Oh, yea!

I can't dive 55!
I can't dive 55!
I can't dive 55!
I can't dive 55!

(Solo)

When I dive that shallow, you know it's too crowded for me.
And I can't stay level, need a new BCD.
Deco used to take two hours now takes all day. Huh!
Took me 16 hours to come up all the way.

Gonna dive me down to 325
Post my face "he was last seen alive"
Take my cert-card, all that jive
I can't dive 55!

No, no no,
I can't dive...
(I can't dive 55!)
I can't dive...
(I can't dive 55!)
I can't dive 55!

------

Whatcha think?

 

[The Chairman]

Don't stop now, you're just gettin' warmed up!!! Keep writin' 'em bubby!

 

[dc4bs]

Hehehe...

I'm pacing myself.

I'll have to ponder and see what I can come up with tonight.

 

[dc4bs]

All right NetDoc, One more tonight, just for you...

Credit to UKPhil for the refrain...

Bon Jovi - Living on a prayer

Diving on a prayer
-
Once upon a time
Not so long ago
Tommy used to dive by the docks
Boat captains been on strike
He's down on his luck...it's tough, so tough
Gina works the diveshop all day
Working for her man, she brings home her pay
In divegear - in divegear

We've got to dive in with what we've got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love of diving - we'll give it a shot

Woah, we're half way there,
Woah-oh, running out of air
Take my hand and together we'll share
Diving on a prayer....

Tommy got his gear out of hock
Yeah the tank still has some air
From its last fill, it's so tough, it's tough
Gina dreams of diving all day
When she cries in the night
Tommy whispers: Baby it's okay, someday

We've got to dive in with what we've got
'Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love of diving - we'll give it a shot

Woah, we're half way there,
Woah-oh, running out of air
Take my hand and together we'll share
Diving on a prayer....

We've got to jump in ready or not
You live for the dive when it's all that you've got

Woah, we're half way there,
Woah-oh, running out of air
Take my hand and together we'll share
Diving on a prayer....

 

[Hobbs]

well seeing you guys having a go at it i thought i would do one of the previous requested from the AC/DC Highway to hell.
sorry all who doesnt like it

we where ready
for a dive
we would go on a reealy deep dive
along the drop,
400 feet
from a small dingie you and me
dont need support
dont need 'em to know
they didnt like it, not one bit
so we left them
at the beach
where we ever thinking, at all

we´re doing deep dives on air
we´re doing deep dives on air
deep dives on air
we´re doing deep dives on air

Going down there
on air alone
dont need trimix, dont need heliox
just a compressor and some tanks
no bodys going mixing today
it is not hard
just not to smart
its going to be a real narked dive
Hey mama look at me
we´re down at 260 now

we´re doing deep dives on air
doing deep dives on air
we´re doing deep dives on air
we´re doing deep dives on air

a pink elephant ???

we´re doing deep dives on air
we´re doing deep dives on air
we´re doing deep dives on air
we´re doing deep dives on
we´re doing deep dives on air
we´re doing deep dives on air
we´re doing deep dives on air
we´re doing deep dives on air

yeah we´re not coming uuuuppp
eveerrrrrr wooowwww

we´re doing deep dives on air

 

[The Chairman]

Band practice starts tomorrow at my garage... say hello to the...

The Fin-Addicts

With such neo-classics as...

"It's Been Hard Night's Dive"

"On the Cover of Diver's DAN"

"The Devil Went Down to the Flower Gardens"

"Born to Dive NitrOx!"

"All in All we're just a-nother Sponge on the Wall"

"Divin' Safari"

"I Wanna Hold Your Octopus"

"The Court of the Mackeral King"

"I Can't Get No Tri-Mix Action"

"I Just Can't Weight No More"

"I'll be Heavin' on the Boat Again"

"500 feet"

"Seahorse Sally"

"Drop me a Cave Line"

"Buddy, Can you Spare Me Some Air"

"Oh, Oh, Wait a Minute Dive Master"

And my personal favorite...

"I Dropped the Tank, and the Tank Won!!!"

 

[dc4bs]

I came up with some silly Ideas last night...

For diving in the chocolate milk pool at Willy Wonkas factory...

(Picture the Oompa Loompas in dive gear, dancing around the chocolat pool as you read on for full effect)
-
Oompa loompa doopady doo
I've got a diving puzzle for you
Ommpa loompa doopady dee
You can dive well, just listen to me

What do ya get when you guzzle down.. air?
breathing as much as an elephant.. breaths?
Stop, breath, relax and your air will go.. far!
And your buddy will be much happy.. ar!

When you reach, when you reach, when you reach the surface!

Oompa loompa doopady daa
If youre not hoovering you can dive far!
Oompa loompa doopady doo
Thus ends the lesson, the rests up to you!

-

OK, the 8th line may need a better ending but I kinda like it anyway...

 

[dc4bs]

Well, here goes another. Just because.

Sugar Ray - Fly:

"Dive"
-----------------------
Don your gear and dive
All around the world divetrips waiting for me
Who knows how long I've loved it
Everywhere I go people stop and they see
25 pounds of led, and a divebag full of gear

I just want to dive
Got to jump into the water (x2)

I just want to dive
Put your body in the water (x2)

Swap stories stranger tell me where you've been
The sea can make you hostage wanna do it again
Theres no time to think bout to start it all again
We'll find out I'm sure, my instructor he told me so

I just want to dive
Got to jump into the water (x2)

I just want to dive
Put your body in the water (x2)

I just want to dive (x2)

All around the world divetrips waiting for me
Who knows how long I've loved it
Everywhere I go people stop and they see
25 pounds of led, and a divebag full of gear

I just want to dive
Got to Jump into the water (x2)

I just want to dive
Put your body in the water (x2)

I just want to dive

 

[King_Neptune]

For Texas Mike and NetDoc -

Still waiting for those "little descriptions" from you that we talked about ... hehe

 

[dc4bs]

Came up with this in the car a few weeks ago...

This post reminded me of it:
http://www.scubaboard.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=67572&t=5300#post67572

Don't take this the wrong way guys. I'm moving in the DIR direction myself but this was just too easy to write...

Why am I expecting some PMs and/or flames anyway?

Will Smith - DIR (was MIB)
---------

Uh...
Here come the Men in Black
It's the D.I.R.'s, uhh, here come the D.I.R.'s
Here come the Men in Black
They won't let you forget it
Nah nah nah

The good guys dress in black remember that
Just in case we ever face to face and make contact
The title held by me -- D.I.R.
Means what you think you saw, you realy did see
So don't blink cause what was there
is now gone, black suit with the black swim fins on
Dive in caves, move in silence
Guard against extra-strong currents
But yo we ain't on no government list
For us, strokes don't exist, no names and no figerprints
Saw somethin strange, watch your back
Cause you never quite know where the D.I.R.'s is at
Uh and...

Here come the Men in Black (Men in Blaaaaack)
Diving truth defenders (oahhaooohh ohhhhh)
Here come the Men in Black (Men in Blaaaaack)
They won't let you forget it

Uh uh, uh uh, now
from the deepest of the darkest of dives
on the horizon, bright light enters sight tight
Cameras zoom, on the impending doom
But then like BOOM black suits fill the cave up
With the quickness talk with the witnesses
Hypnotized, narked out
Vivid memories turn to fantasies
Ain't no D.I.R.'s, can I please
do what we say that's the way we kick it
Yaknahmean? I see my long hose get wicked on ya
We're your first, last and only line of defense
against the worst dive instructors of the universe
So don't fear us, cheer us
If you ever get near us, don't jeer us, we're the fearless
D.I.R.'s, freezin up all the flack
(What's that stand for?) Men In Black

Uhh M
The Men in Black...
The Men in Black

Let me see ya just cave it with me, just cave with me
Just cave it with me c'mon
Let me see ya just wreck with me, just wreck with me
Just wreck with me c'mon
Let me see ya dive deep with me, dive deep with me
Dive deep with me c'mon
And make your fins work
Now freeze...

Here come the Men in Black (Men in Blaaaaack)
The diving truth defenders
Right on, right on
Here come the Men in Black (Men in Blaaaaack)
They won't let you forget it (ohhhh nooooo)

Alright check it, let me tell you this in closin
I know we might seem imposin
But trust me if we ever show in your section
Believe me, it's for your own protection
Cause we see things that you did not see
And we go places that you need not be
So go witcha life, forget that short hose crap
Show love to the black suit, cause that's the Men in
That's the Men in...

Here come the Men in Black (here they comeeeee)
The diving truth defenders (diving truth de-fenders)
Here come the Men in Black (ohhhh here they come)
They won't let you forget it (won't, let you, forget iiiit)
Here come the Men in Black (ohhhh here they come)
Diving truth defenders (ohh ohh, ohh ohh, ohh ohh)
Here come the Men in Black
They won't let you forget it