Why are so many female divers codependent?

[shoturtle]

I've been thinking about this thread lately. The guy I've been seeing and my dive buddy on all but 13 dives I've done is WAY more experienced than me. Now, he knows I am perfectly capable of carrying two tanks, assembling my own gear, and he actually realizes that I'd be annoyed if he tried to coddle me at all. That said, when we get under water, he runs things. I've let him up until now because I wanted to focus on all the cool stuff I was seeing (though don't take this to mean I wasn't very cautious watching my computer and air). Now I realized that I don't really have much confidence as a buddy if I were to dive with someone less experienced than me. He and I are diving together every weekend from this coming one till the end of august, so I'm going to have to bring up this concern at some point and hopefully adjust what happens under water so I have some room to grow and don't develop bad "trust me" diving habits.

I would not put off the conversation to long, so that you can develop the skills you need. My wife leads underwater we have a conversations every time on what our objective is when diving, and who does what. But that is not being co-dependent. It is about improving our dive skills together.

 

[fairybasslet]

I'd gladly let my dive buddy (male or female) navigate because I suck at it.

 

[Trixxie]

Shoot, I haul my gear, my guy dive buddy's gear (I'll always be a DM at heart)

tanks to and from the pool and checkouts - 2 at a time

One of my co instructors says he likes strong women, one master diver that comes to the pool when we have class says I shouldn't be toting gear because "I'm a woman"... no, really? LOL - he's old fashion, but appreciate his concern.

If I were taller than 5'2" the tanks would be easier to carry. I really have to lift them to get them off of the ground.

LOVE my 80 cu ft Faber Steel tank. I think it's like 2 1/2' tall. Then there are the Faber 117 HP tanks that I can carry 2 at a time but prefer to use the dolly for those when ever possible.

Co dependent? Not me....
(well except I hate to be in the water with out my buddy)

 

[StuartScuba]

Keytofreedom; "I can do it" is not a bratty inner child thing; To me it is a safety issue. I feel that I am always telling someone to leave my stuff alone. I dont believe it is a man against woman thing, it really is a control thing and I have to breathe out of that regulator not you. So for the most part, I just ignore the idiots and concentrate on the competent people who are leaving you alone. But on the same issue, I so beyond stink at navigation. (So Fairy Basslet are not allowed to dive together I selfishly like to examine every piece of coral on my way so when I do get a new buddy, I tell them to just prod me along. Everyone has their strengths, you lead and I will call you back for something cool I just found.

 

[blueeyz78]

There are a lot of posts and maybe someone has already said it.

Why would a woman today want to depend on a man, or even another woman? That is my new aged thinking. When I entered the sport of diving I (along with the entire class of men and women) were told if you cannot handle your own gear, then you shouldn't be diving. I have to say, I agree.

Your buddy is there to share the dive with and be there in case of emergencies. It doesn't matter if your buddy is a boyfriend or a husband.

Come on ladies...girl power!! Let's show these men how its done!

It's time for a Woman's Diving Independence Day!

 

[ScubaSam]

^absolutely agree with you, blueeyz78, i do carry, and handle, my own gear^

 

[miss_scuba]

I've just put this to my wife.
IF you can't set up your own gear or need any help.YOU SHOULD NOT BE DIVING.I do agree with her on this.

I totally agree. When I teach classes, I will not let the guys carry their girls stuff... If she wants to dive, she packs and carries her stuff... except: health issues, than I will be the first one to help.

In general, I find women co-dependent in life are the ones to carry the same habits underwater too. Like the ones who do not carry their own bags while traveling are less likely to carry their own dive gear.

I believe if girls truly wanted to be treated equally as guys, they need to do equally...

 

[drbill]

Heck, I'm still looking for a nice woman to be co-dependent on. She'll carry my gear... and pay for our dive trips. In exchange, I'll love her to death (well, not literally). Until then, I'm happy to dive solo and carry my own stuff (in the Dr. Bill Mobile of course).

 

[sololady]

PLEASE LADIES!!!

I thought we were mostly past this sort of attitude. I didn't start diving until I was nearly 50; my husband will never dive with me (or even go watch); and I dive ALL THE TIME with strong women divers. Many of them are instructors or at least working DMs. My favorite dive charter owner/captain was a woman.

My LDS owner is a woman (widowed) who has been in the business for something over 30 years. She, her daughter and sil are all instructors with thousands of dives. Her 80+ year old mother often works the shop when everybody else is gone on a trip. They just took some 70 divers to the Keys. I think about 30 of them were new checkout divers. I didn't go...didn't have the time or money; but I took my 12 year old neice to PC FL to get her Junior OW check-out dives done while the shop did the Key thing.

Only one time have I been with a couple where "HE" does all the set up and schlepin' for "HER". He also has to keep her on a buddy leash because she is a complete airhead and would (has) drop to a dangerous depth such that he would have to chase her down and bring her back. That is not just co-dependent...that is nutts! I don't often dive with them.

I remember my first all chick dive. About two years ago on Roatan with Coconut Tree, we looked around and suddenly realized that the whole group going with one of the two DMs on the boat was female and few of us knew each other. We didn't intend it...it just happened. As the two groups seperated to the two ends of the boat for the dive plan our DM (also an instructor and female) looked around and said "look at this! we are an all chick dive!". It was wonderful! We all had expert bouyancy control. We all had excellent observation and navigation skills. Each of us knew where each of the others were every second. Our air consumption was incredible so we got to stay down as long as we wanted.

That dive will always be one that stands out in my memory. We were just like a bunch of mermaids exploring the wonders of God's aquarium. And we looked like it too, gracefully moving along the wall; even me...I was just the mer-old lady of the group.

Deborah

 

[StuartScuba]

Beautiful! Beautiful! SoloLady. Yes we are past and beyond that attitude. I too dive by myself (I am also 52) and it is not that I do like men, I just prefer to be in the company of women. I even ride (Vstar 650) with a group of women, it is more fun and we laugh so much more. Chick dive or chick drive it is all good. And like sololady said, it is not a codependant thing, it is an air head thing.