Why are so many female divers codependent?

[Kim22]

a lot of women that are diving only to please their spouse/significant other. They tend to be the overly co-dependent ones, and will probably never dive without their SO. Which may be fine, but what if something happens to their SO underwater? That could be a tragedy waiting to happen.

My boyfriend does not even swim, much less dive. He is more than content to go out on the boats or wait on the beach for me. I shlep all my own gear and take care of everything - I have always been very independent. It probably also helps that my amazing instructor is a woman that has over 5000 dives and is probably the most competent diver I have seen to date. I can only hope to be as good as she is one day.

 

[drbill]

I've had several women (well, OK, one or two) express interest in me, and offer to get certified so they can dive with me. Unless they truly found it was their passion, I'd prefer to be diving solo. Funny thing is that the ones for whom diving IS a passion already, don't seem to be interested. Sigh.

 

[Brandon]

I've seen the types of divers you're talking about, both in spousal buddies and parent/child buddies. They tend to lack any sort of firm mental commitment to diving, and seem to just be along for the ride. It's an accident waiting to happen.

I'd be in heaven if my wife was excited about diving and wanted to pursue it with the same level of enthusiasm as I do. But she doesn't, so I've learned to stop pushing it or even ask. I don't want the type of buddy that will produce.

-Brandon.

 

[cruiser]

In our culture, women are predominantly taught that, when around men, we turn into simpering and helpless females (part of the "10 Rules"--they're stupid IMO but they work). When you separate the sexes, you change the male/female dynamic and women tend to learn more and have more confidence in their abilities. This is one (of many) reason all girls schools have high academic achievement.

Not saying it's right or wrong, I'm just saying that's the way it is.

 

[Teamcasa]

Does this woman look codependant?
My wife is a Power Ranger!

 

[cruiser]

Does this woman look codependant?
My wife is a Power Ranger!

No, she's gonna kick ass.

 

[JillianAnnO]

What a surprise to read your view on the "co-dependant woman." While I'm still fairly new to my new-found lifestyle, I always assemble my own equipment but was trained to have my buddy, who's typically my hubby, provide a buddy check but he's never carried anything for me. The way I see it is that my safety is based on my skill level and the more I practice, the better of a diver I will be. What happens if something went wrong with my hubby's gear? Thankfully I had an awesome DM that provided great training so I'll know what to do if he needs me and the same is true vice versa. I'll depend on myself first!

 

[drbill]

In our culture, women are predominantly taught that, when around men, we turn into simpering and helpless females (part of the "10 Rules"--they're stupid IMO but they work). When you separate the sexes, you change the male/female dynamic and women tend to learn more and have more confidence in their abilities. This is one (of many) reason all girls schools have high academic achievement.

Ah, so this is why I have yet to find the truly independent woman who will make a great partner in diving and life? I guess I just need to spend more time around all girls schools.

 

[cruiser]

Ah, so this is why I have yet to find the truly independent woman who will make a great partner in diving and life? I guess I just need to spend more time around all girls schools.

You, Dr. Bill? I doubt you'd need help in that department but whatever...

I spoke, of course, from my perspective and my experience growing up (I pushed "post reply" before I could add this). My son tells me this is no longer the predominant trend and girls/young women today don't adhere to this unless they're being groomed for society or of the trophy-wife persuasion. Gawd, I'm dating myself.

 

[drbill]

I think my fangs scare them off, cruiser.

I come from an even more ancient cultural tradition. I'm so glad to see many of the older stereotypes and cultural "norms" are changing with the current generation. It makes me feel optimistic about the future... even if their text-messaging grammar and spelling is atrocious!