Spouses make bad buddies?

[OE2X]

I would say that a couple diving together as buddies is o.k. unless:

1. They are fighting on the boat going to the divesite.
2. Are talking about her mother.
3. If she asks if this wetsuit makes her look fat.
4. He starts staring at the young blond, bikini clad DM.
5. She is staring at the ripped young male DM.
6.Their divorce attorney is on board the boat.
7. He/she makes the other do all the loading and assembling of gear.
8. He turns off her air just before she jumps in the water.
9. She ties a bloody steak off to his tank during the “Lets See The Shark Dive”.
10. She expects him to read her mind when she goes out of air and doesn’t signal him.

 

[Damselfish]

A.) Do you think that generally spouses make bad buddies?
B.) Have you ever been on a boat and seen spouses split up by the DM to form separate buddy pairs?
C.) Do you think DM's should split up spouses? -what if it's obvious that they're overly dependant on one another?

a) No. (My husband is my main buddy and we got certified together.)
B) No.
C) In a class it may be appropriate sometimes, and I think it can be helpful to practice with a variety of people even if there are no "issues."
Split up certified buddies that planned to dive together? No - though same as it might be good to help someone out with air consumption but best if they're very tactful about it (another recent thread) - there might be times when it would be worth carefully trying. Of course you'd have to have 1-2 other divers looking for partners who were willing and have a good excuse/story for suggesting the whole switcheroo.

It's bad for anyone to be diving because someone pushed them into it, it doesn't have to be spouses.

 

[TheRedHead]

The incident that started the conversation happened in an AOW class, so obviously they're speaking of splitting up spouses of all dive levels, not just AOW.

FYI: In re-reading the posts, they're doing this with children/parent teams as well.

In class situation, this might be acceptable if it were made known to the prospective students before the class and they agreed with it. It is still inherently sexist because it is done so the female will not become dependent. On a charter boat, it would be way out of line and something I wouldn't put up with. What's the name of the shop that does this so I can make sure I never dive with them?

 

[Notso_Ken]

A.) Do you think that generally spouses make bad buddies?
B.) Have you ever been on a boat and seen spouses split up by the DM to form separate buddy pairs?
C.) Do you think DM's should split up spouses? -what if it's obvious that they're overly dependant on one another?

Just wondering...

A. It all depends on the personalities involved. If my wife was not a competent diver, I would not want to dive with her (Now, that said, my wife does not dive for medical reasons - full disclosure important, IMHO!)
B. No.
C. If there is an obvious problem - yes. No otherwise.


Ken

 

[TheRedHead]

It's bad for anyone to be diving because someone pushed them into it, it doesn't have to be spouses.

Agreed, and that's the crux of the issue here. It really doesn't have anything to do with married divers diving together. And this situation should be rectified before C-cards are issued.

 

[Damselfish]

I was once on a boat with 2 brothers and a sister (older teens, no parents there.) Sister didn't feel like doing the first dive, and she was sort of curled up in the corner. Her brothers teased and nagged her like crazy to go. On the boat it was just them, my husband and I, and the DM who apparently didn't feel like they should get into it. I finally said something like "it's really not nice or even safe to nag someone to dive when they obviously don't want to." The brothers shut up and and I got a subtle nod from the DM who seemed quite happy I did it.

 

[Scuba Brad]

Erica, after 32 years of marriage I like the buddy I have. We dive together and love it. Are we perfect buddies? NO we make mistakes and learn from them. However, its nice not to have to "train" someone new each time you dive. We have our own language under the water (in fact my daughter and son-in-law "Scuba Jerm" both know ASL and talk freely under water) and know what our limitations. If one of us gets out of line during the dive its easy to just tell the other.........there is no loss of communication.

Now having said all of that I also enjoy diving with other family members, like my sons or daughters (or their spouses). But at the end of the day my wife has more "vested" in me as I do in her to make the dive a great experience.

Happy Diving

 

[dpthdiver]

A.) Do you think that generally spouses make bad buddies?
B.) Have you ever been on a boat and seen spouses split up by the DM to form separate buddy pairs?
C.) Do you think DM's should split up spouses? -what if it's obvious that they're overly dependant on one another?

Just wondering...

A) No
B) No
C) I'd love to see them try. Couple can get real defensive when an "outsider" perceives a problem and trys to help out.

I taught my wife and have dove with her for years and she make the most competent buddy I've ever had. I think spouses that are comfortable in the water make great pairings. However, I feel completely opposite when if comes to teaching couples. From my experiance, I have found them to be the hardest to teach because 7 times out of 10 the husband is overbearing and critiques every little thing the wife does even if she's doing a skill better than him. I try to ignore the banter until it starts hindering the others learning. From there, I split them up. I've even had guys scream at their wives to the point of making them cry. I've even had to send husbands home and reschedule their classes.

 

[Kim]

A) No
B) No
C) (S)he had better not try to assign my wife to another diver. Depends on other factors.

I totally agree. The only time I will allow anyone to 'assign' me is if I don't have my own buddy on the boat. If I am with my wife or other person I regularly dive with the DM has no say whatsoever.

 

[rmannix]

Teaching we always rotated all buddy teams in the class, not just couples.
On a dive boat, no DM has any business breaking up buddy teams that want to dive together. It's their trip, not the DM's.