Spouses make bad buddies?

[Storm]

a) NO
b) NO
c) NO

When Judy and I decided, as a couple, to take lessons, yes I inititated the thought but left the decision entirely up to her, we trained together, took our OW and AOW together. We did split up a few times in the pool, but we dove together for all the open water dives. She felt more comfortable, with me close by her, but she learned practiced, and tested her skills by herself, carried and assembled her own gear, did her own dive planing, and log book work. I insisted on it.

I felt that if I got involved, I would be hampering her learning, and thus placing her at risk, so other than learning to be a good buddy for her (team drills etc) I forced myself to stay completely out of the DI's way.. to make sure she was competent in her own right. She's my dive buddy and equal...not my dependant.

So I pity any boat captain or DM who tries to split us up on a rec dive. I'd just sit back and watch my wife tear the strips off of them. Like redhatmama, my wife would look at this as sexist, interfering and an unfair critique of her diving abilities.

I also agree that once a dive team has realy gelled as a team (which is how my wife and I view ourselves...as a cohesive dive team), IMO, it may actually be unsafe to force each dive partner to buddy up with someone they don't fully trust.

 

[drbill]

I'd like to test this theory? Any lovely lady divers out there want to play my wife for a few years?

 

[PaulChristenson]

I would say that a couple diving together as buddies is o.k. unless:

1. They are fighting on the boat going to the divesite.
2. Are talking about her mother.
3. If she asks if this wetsuit makes her look fat.
4. He starts staring at the young blond, bikini clad DM.
5. She is staring at the ripped young male DM.
6.Their divorce attorney is on board the boat.
7. He/she makes the other do all the loading and assembling of gear.
8. He turns off her air just before she jumps in the water.
9. She ties a bloody steak off to his tank during the “Lets See The Shark Dive”.
10. She expects him to read her mind when she goes out of air and doesn’t signal him.

Do you just do this as a sideline...when not doing Dave's Top Ten List??

Paul in VT

 

[*Floater*]

A.) Do you think that generally spouses make bad buddies?
B.) Have you ever been on a boat and seen spouses split up by the DM to form separate buddy pairs?
C.) Do you think DM's should split up spouses? -what if it's obvious that they're overly dependant on one another?

No to all. However, I've had a DM split me and my girlfriend up because I had a camera and she didn't and the DM wanted me to dive with another guy with a camera.

I didn't like it because (a) our dives are supposed to be something enjoyable we can share and do together, (b) most random people i've been matched up with (included the one in question) have had no respect for the idea of a buddy team. Most diver's I've met prefer to more or less do their own thing, and every once in a while they check that they are still within a comfortable distance of the group, and (c) my girlfriend knows my gear setup, signals,... and I know hers, whereas most of my boat buddies hadn't seen a hogarthian setup until our dive. It adds another complication to explain to them about donating the longhose, removing/cutting the hog harness, going through signals...

 

[Kim]

No to all. However, I've had a DM split me and my girlfriend up because I had a camera and she didn't and the DM wanted me to dive with another guy with a camera.

That is ridiculous and verging on dangerous IMO. Two people using a camera at the same time are basically both solo and woe to anyone who loses track of depth/time etc when taking pictures. I would have been rather rude to the DM myself. If I dive to take pictures with my wife she acts as both a spotter for stuff and a good buddy who has also got my back. Being a photographer doesn't mean you should stop thinking about everything else - but it's easy to get occasionally distracted if you are after a particular shot.

 

[TSandM]

Well, after 17 years of trying, my husband finally got me to learn to dive.

In the last six months (since I was certified) I have logged almost half again as many dives as he has.

We have also had some of the bitterest fights we've had in 17 years of marriage, over diving, as I have slid to the dark side and become my usual obsessive compulsive self about anything for which I have a passion.

But if a DM on one of the charter boats we've taken in exotic destinations tried to split us up, I wouldn't dive. I'd much rather have someone with whom I'm familiar (and who ostensibly really CARES if I come up alive) than someone I know nothing about. My husband, although he may not approve of it, knows the gear I'm diving, knows the protocols I've been taught, and knows what I would like to see in a buddy. That's a lot of common ground.

 

[Cacia]

I try and dive with my husbands but they keep leaving me. So, in my case, either way is fine. There is something to be said for training your own...

Dm's splitting people up? Oh my gosh, where? They are not there to be the boss if you are a certified diver! It does make one a stronger diver to dive with a variety of people I think. Maybe not safer, but better. Not always the same thing.

 

[Jason Ooi]

A) No
B) No
C) No

Cheer
Jason

 

[OE2X]

Do you just do this as a sideline...when not doing Dave's Top Ten List??

Paul in VT

Paul - too funny. That's exactly what I was thinking when I wrote the post... Maybe I should apply for a job.

 

[annasea]

I'd like to test this theory? Any lovely lady divers out there want to play my wife for a few years?

LOL!!! You're posting on the wrong board, my friend!