Spouses make bad buddies?

[jchaplain]

I have seen many excellent husband/wife dive pairs. They knew each other's habits, equipment, etc. They communicated extremely well.

The only time I remember seeing any problem at all was a pair on Cayman Brac. When they came out of the water, the DM noticed she wasn't wearing a computer, and he asked her for her dive specifics. She started to go over to her husband, but the DM would not let her. She said that they always shared his computer. THe DM asked for her tables. She didn't have any.

So, she had to sit out the second tank of the trip and take care of that problem on shore before they would let her in the water again.

That DM sounds like a MAJOR dive nazi. I really get miffed when I hear of people like that. Sounds like she had it worked out that she was following her husband and would have the same profile, so using his computer would cover them both. I see nothing wrong with that. Who the he## does he think he is?
Thats one problem I see with this sport. Far too many know-it-alls with their own interpretations and god forbid when one of these types becomes a DM.
It's a good thing there are enough regular folks in this sport to make up for those.
When she was made to sit out the second dive..the husband went along with that? I'd be down the DM's throat so bad that no way would they DARE get away with telling my wife she had to "sit it out."

But, to stay on topic...

1) No
2) No
3) No

John C.

 

[jaime]

No.
No.
Depends.

My husband and I were certified together (OW, AOW & Nitrox), and we're usually dive buddies - if we're both diving on a particular day, we're buddies. We can recognize subtle signals others can't, and we know we can depend on each other in an emergency.

We were also paired together during certification, by our choice. It wasn't a problem - we understood the need to learn every skill independently. If one of us was leaning on the other during our training, then I suspect we would've been separated - appropriately so. At the start, I recall that I had some trouble remembering how to thread the tank band - out of habit, my husband came over to try to help. I simply reminded him that I needed to learn it myself, and continued till I got it. During two of our checkout dives, we were paired with others - maybe that was deliberate on the part of the DM (this is the first time that thought occurred to me). Given the 5 feet of viz we had on those dives, it didn't make much difference - we didn't exactly stray too far from our instructor anyway...

I've done some diving with others when my husband hasn't been available, and I do think that's increased my confidence. But I very much prefer do dive with my husband as my buddy, and I'd never accept a DM separating us on a boat...

 

[SA-Diver]

My wife is my regular buddy on recreational dives. She does not do tech dives with me as it does not interest her. As we are both certified and comfortable together, no DM will split us as a buddy pair on a recreational dive we pay for.
The DM is not responsible for our dive plan, safety, profile or most other things on the dive. Where we dive, the DM is merely a guide who sometimes knows the reef better than us, and who tows the marker buoy for the boat to follow.

 

[DivePartner1]

That DM sounds like a MAJOR dive nazi. . . . I see nothing wrong with that. Who the he## does he think he is?
"

I expect he thinks he is responsible to ensure that diver's follow the rules of the boat and their own certifications. And he is.

If a diver has no computer and is not using (or does not appear to understand) tables, the DM or captain of the boat has every right to keep them out of the water and should do so for the safety of the divers and others. To do otherwise would be reckless. Such a diver is more likely to injure herself and others. If she does, the insurers of the boat, the DM and the dive op. would properly deny the claim if the DM did anything as reckless as allow such a diver to proceeed under the circumstances. Her husbands profile is not hers.

The rules we must follow are part our (sometimes forgotten?) certification and are posted in the disclaimers and rules we sign before the dives.

 

[jchaplain]

I expect he thinks he is responsible to ensure that diver's follow the rules of the boat and their own certifications. And he is.

If a diver has no computer and is not using (or does not appear to understand) tables, the DM or captain of the boat has every right to keep them out of the water and should do so for the safety of the divers and others. To do otherwise would be reckless. Such a diver is more likely to injure herself and others. If she does, the insurers of the boat, the DM and the dive op. would properly deny the claim if the DM did anything as reckless as allow such a diver to proceeed under the circumstances. Her husbands profile is not hers.

The rules we must follow are part our (sometimes forgotten?) certification and are posted in the disclaimers and rules we sign before the dives.

If she is diving the whole dive alongside her husband, her husbands profile IS the same as hers. And it's not up to a DM to be that much of a mother hen. But, like I was saying...too many in this sport JUST LOVE to throw their influence around ( macho bullying really ) and they always do it hiding under the name of insurance policies and safety, because who wants to argue about safety after all...and if I'm the DM and I say so because I'm king piss-ant over you for 4 hours...lol.

DM's....Don't flame me...I know that most DM's are very cool people and want others to enjoy the day as much as they do and not there to be oppressive little prigs like that one was. Personally I have never met a DM like that and I've done a lot of charter diving.

There may be more to the story and the DM had good reasons, like if she was diving the whole dive far deeper than her husband...then MAYBE I would agree.

John C.

 

[espenskogen]

If she is diving the whole dive alongside her husband, her husbands profile IS the same as hers.

No it isn't - If she spends say most of her dive say 50 centimetres below her buddy (Which is fairly normal to do), her profile is going to incur a higher Residual nitrogen time than her buddy. (And as computers calculate NDL's based on your exact profile, she could exceed the NDL. And what if she lost her buddy?! She'd have to stay out of the water for 24 hours at least, because she wouldn't know her max depth.)

And it's not up to a DM to be that much of a mother hen.

As long as we can be sued for other divers irresponsible diving, it is up to us to be that much of a mother hen. I'm not having anybody put me at risk of a massive law suit, just because they can't be bothered to either:
Learn the tables and use a depth gauge

OR

Use one computer for EACH diver

 

[boulderjohn]

If she is diving the whole dive alongside her husband, her husbands profile IS the same as hers. John C.

As noted above, it is not exactly the same because she cannot be exactly with him the whole dive. Another point to remember, though, is that a dive computer does not start over again on each dive. It keeps a record of all the dives within a period of time, constantly calculating thecumulative effects of nitrogen and oxygen buildups. What if one diver decides to skip a dive? What if one ascends a little earlier? If so, everything is screwed up.

 

[jchaplain]

What if one diver decides to skip a dive? What if one ascends a little earlier? If so, everything is screwed up.

And what if neither of them had computers and you had to take their word for it? What kind of PROOF would the overbearing type DM DEMAND from them then?

I've been diving for years without a dive computer and I don't bother with a log book and often I don't bother looking at the tables when I'm going on a guided pair of boat dives knowing that the dives are planned to be a pair of non-deco profile dives.

I've never had a DM ask me if I had a computer ,or say anything to me about checking my dive tables, much less tell me to "sit out a dive" like that prig of a DM did to the wife in this thread.

If you become a DM and decide to be that much of a overbearing nanny to everyone...you won't get away with it for long I'm sure.

John C.

 

[Hoosier]

Based on the reason why I made my GF a diver,

My final answer are

1)NO
2)NO
3)NO Way....