Spouses make bad buddies?

[scc135]

My girlfriend only wanted to go swimming and diving after I showed interest in taking a class. Her skills aren't so well developed and I realize I can't take any pictures because I have to pay more attention to her. As for being a good dive buddy, she'll be there, but I don't think she's a good enough diver yet so we usually get a private DM for the 3rd person. She's willing, so in the future I doubt she'll be a bad dive buddy. I've definitely not seen DMs split couples nor do I think they should. If taking a class, it was more benificial for her to learn to be independent so that's the only reason I'd think of splitting people up.

 

[steveann]

My dive buddy is my wife, as well. I think it's a great idea to dive together, as it gives something to share and you should know each other better than "regular" buddies.

The only downside I could see to the arrangement is if anything ever bad happened. While it's not a question you ever want to have to answer, could you leave your dive buddy tangled up in a fishing net to drown to save your own life?

 

[trkbrkr2000]

My wife is my dive buddy and I think it is the best. We can share things as a couple that most couples can't. When we were gettig certified our instructor had to separate us though because I would want to help her out way tooooo much.

 

[Solitude Diver]

our instructor had to separate us though because I would want to help her out way tooooo much.

I am an instructor and I asked one of my instructor buddies to teach my wife........... I wanted her to have an instructor and I am her partner..........She is a great INDEPENDENT diver.....
Yes, when i have a couple in class I devide them.......Everyone needs to be independent divers then enjoy diving together.

I couldn’t agree more. I wish I had considered that earlier. I have always done everything for my wife (trying to be helpful and make sure she enjoys the diving). I have assisted in some of her classes (as a DMIT) and it has made her fairly dependent on me when it comes to diving. (She agrees).

We have (recently) decided that she will need to dive with other buddies more often (she wants to join a women’s dive club), and she will be responsible for inventorying, cleaning, and loading her own gear, etc. Although it was nice to have a valet, she now wishes to become a more independent diver.

However, on trips and fun dives when we wish to dive together, having the DM split us up would not be acceptable. After all, we are paying for the charter and are on the trip to dive together in the first place.

 

[devolution365]

My wife is my dive buddy and I think it is the best. We can share things as a couple that most couples can't. When we were gettig certified our instructor had to separate us though because I would want to help her out way tooooo much.

I know what you mean. I took my refresher alongside my (then fiance) -I was his buddy in the pool and for his OW. I love teaching people, so it was hard for me to shut up and let him learn on his own, but I did it because I didn't want to distract him or confuse him at all. After class or during "free time" I'd throw my 2¢ in if there was something I felt the instructor missed, or didn't emphisize enough. (Buoyancy skills, for example -the instructor glossed over it, but we took most of our free time in the pool to practice hovering, etc. The result? Neither one of us ended up walking on the bottom of the quarry like some of the students.) :14:

 

[RadRob]

My wife is my dive buddy and I think it is the best. We can share things as a couple that most couples can't. When we were gettig certified our instructor had to separate us though because I would want to help her out way tooooo much.

I think in class, it wouldn't be a bad idea. After class, there is no reason to split them. I would never let that happen with me and my wife. In class, I was there trying to help also. I did, however, see someone on the other end of the spectrum. When his wife couldn't do something, he would get pissed off at her and get frustrated and sometimes even yell. It is their marriage and if she wants to put up with it, that's her business, but in a classroom setting, it is not appropriate and distracts the class.

 

[TheRedHead]

My wife is my dive buddy and I think it is the best. We can share things as a couple that most couples can't. When we were gettig certified our instructor had to separate us though because I would want to help her out way tooooo much.

This seems quite sexist to me that an instructor would assume that the female half of the buddy pair would become dependent. If a DM tried to seperate me from my buddy/spouse, I tell him to stick it and find another dive operation. It is one thing for a DM to suggest changes after evaluating divers (seeing them dive more than once) and quite another for someone to assume that (usually) the female half of the buddy pair needs to be seperated because she is dependent. There are too many dive ops out there for anyone to put up with it.

Is this something common with OW divers or do they do this with married buddy pairs who have AOW or higher certs?

 

[adurso]

My dive buddy is my wife, as well. I think it's a great idea to dive together, as it gives something to share and you should know each other better than "regular" buddies.

The only downside I could see to the arrangement is if anything ever bad happened. While it's not a question you ever want to have to answer, could you leave your dive buddy tangled up in a fishing net to drown to save your own life?

Yes

 

[devolution365]

Is this something common with OW divers or do they do this with married buddy pairs who have AOW or higher certs?

The incident that started the conversation happened in an AOW class, so obviously they're speaking of splitting up spouses of all dive levels, not just AOW.

FYI: In re-reading the posts, they're doing this with children/parent teams as well.

 

[trkbrkr2000]

I wasn't saying that my wife would become dpendent but that I was taking away from her learning experience by wanting to be a good husband and do everything for her. I guess the point is she would not have learned to be comfortable putting her equipment together and being in the water if we would have stayed buddied up together.
Now that we have been diving out of the class environment I know that my wife is my favorite dive buddy and that the instructor did the right thing.


Jim