I need your help! Survey on women/gender in diving.

[Storker]

[anecdote]
As mentioned, I have both male and female clubmates. And I've buddied with roughly equal numbers of male and female divers (counting number of buddies, that is. I have a few regular buddies, and if I were to do the statistics on number of dives rather than number of buddies, the statistics would be different. Because I have a lot of dives with rather few buddies). Anyway, on one of my club trips, I buddied up with one of my clubmates who happened to be a rather petite woman. She dives a twinset - not sure if it's a D8.5 or a D7x300 - and in the RIB I see her struggling a bit to get ready for the drop. Considering her size and the weight of her gear, that's not particularly surprising. So, believing I'm just another clubmate, I ask her if she needs any help getting ready. "No thanks", she says, "I prefer being able to handle my gear myself". Fine. I respect - and understand - that and stay away. Now, in hindsight, I realize that this might be taken as sexist if the woman had encountered a bit of sexist attitude in the past.
[/anecdote]

Now, after some of the discussions here on SB, was that correct behavior on my side? And would it be understandable if a woman in my buddy's situation might interpret my question as sexist?

 

[Doby45]

The answer to that question is would you help a petite male clubmate in the same fashion. I think the answer to that is yes. I know for a fact I would help whomever is struggling with some equipment, be they male or female. But in the same breath if you want to be all salty and "I do it myself" then that is fine too and you go right ahead. The problem there is not the person trying to help but the preconceived attitude of the helpee.

 

[Freewillow]

[anecdote]
Anyway, on one of my club trips, I buddied up with one of my clubmates who happened to be a rather petite woman. She dives a twinset - not sure if it's a D8.5 or a D7x300 - and in the RIB I see her struggling a bit to get ready for the drop. Considering her size and the weight of her gear, that's not particularly surprising. So, believing I'm just another clubmate, I ask her if she needs any help getting ready. "No thanks", she says, "I prefer being able to handle my gear myself".

Now, in hindsight, I realize that this might be taken as sexist if the woman had encountered a bit of sexist attitude in the past.
[/anecdote]

Now, after some of the discussions here on SB, was that correct behavior on my side? And would it be understandable if a woman in my buddy's situation might interpret my question as sexist?

I think that you are doing the right thing. It would have been a "small" petite man or an old weak man, you could be accused of misbehaviour towards "too small " or "too old" people.

I personnally think that we are spending way too much time on being "politically/ethically" correct when much bigger terrible things are done in the world: global warning effects negated by some leaders, kids/civilian deaths in war, terrorism, worldwide tax dissimulations, drugs military organisations, massive gang bang rapes ................

Why do we need to focus on minutia when the whole world is going havoc, blows my mind.

If one, like you - or myself - try to help his/her neigborn/fellow diver, can we see it has what it is intended for: gentle help............and stop right there? I am flabergasted.

 

[Doby45]

Now, in hindsight, I realize that this might be taken as sexist if the woman had encountered a bit of sexist attitude in the past.

And in that very instance she would have been just as bad as any sexist around. The sword cuts both ways.

 

[Storker]

And in that very instance she would have been just as bad as any sexist around. The sword cuts both ways.

Y'know, I don't agree. Toes usually get pretty sore if they're stepped on too many times. So, if a woman thinks I'm being sexist despite my (IMO) non-sexist intentions, I don't necessarily think that she's sexist if she reacts negatively to my actions or words.

 

[Doby45]

Y'know, I don't agree. Toes usually get pretty sore if they're stepped on too many times. So, if a woman thinks I'm being sexist despite my (IMO) non-sexist intentions, I don't necessarily think that she's sexist if she reacts negatively to my actions or words.

And you are more than welcome to disagree. The more you look for something, the more you find it. So if you want to see (sexism, racism or any of the other PC isms of the day) in everything I am positive you can and just because you see it, doesn't make it so.

 

[Storker]

The answer to that question is would you help a petite male clubmate in the same fashion. I think the answer to that is yes.

What's interesting is that while I'd like to believe that, too, I can't be quite sure. Monkey brain...

 

[drrich2]

This gets back to the issue that gender relations impact same gender interactions. Men are often sensitive to relative physical power. Some men might shy from offering a 'little' man aid if they thought it not strictly necessary, as it might be seen to condescend or imply he's weak. Petite isn't necessarily bad for a woman, but I assume you've heard of 'short man syndrome?' Would you refer to any man as 'petite' to his face?

So a man might offer to help a petite woman, but not a petite man, not out of disrespect to either, but in respect to both.

Richard (far from petite and okay with being helped anyway).

 

[Doby45]

My thing is so much of these isms are antiquated and need to go the way of the doo doo bird. I sure as **** did not want Hillary to win the presidency but it had nothing to do with her being a woman. I just don't like her policies. I sure as hell did not want Obama as a president but it had nothing to do with his race. I just don't like his policies. Now in BOTH of those instances people that want to see racism or sexism will see it. That doesn't mean that it is there. I personally would have voted for Condoleezza Rice if she would have ran back in 08 and it would have shut up the race baiters and the feminists.

 

[diver0008]

My thing is so much of these isms are antiquated and need to go the way of the doo doo bird. I sure as **** did not want Hillary to win the presidency but it had nothing to do with her being a woman. I just don't like her policies. I sure as hell did not want Obama as a president but it had nothing to do with his race. I just don't like his policies. Now in BOTH of those instances people that want to see racism or sexism will see it. That doesn't mean that it is there. I personally would have voted for Condoleezza Rice if she would have ran back in 08 and it would have shut up the race baiters and the feminists.

Totally on board with what you are getting at. People will see sexism and racism solely from their own subjectivity and lately very heightened sense of mob-enforced moral superiority. They judge on appearances, not intentions. It's a shallow, self-centered society we are succumbing to. All this spring-loaded finger-pointing is doing is making the innocent objects of it feel alienated. Hence, Trump. Men will stop caring about women. Whites will stop caring about Blacks. Why bother if you are guilty before you even make a move.