art.chick
Contributor
I took basic OW with my husband. He is gregarious & tall, one of the guys. I am a plus-size gal who is slightly less confident in life in general (partly because I have had a weight gain since we have been married, lost my job, & had some other setback.) When we dive, I am a little tentative. I like the sport, but won't dive under conditions that I consider "scary" ( big waves, coldER day, empty stomach, way too tired.) He tends to shout at me when he is disappointed in my performance (ie: crawling up onto the beach instead of walking) which only makes my nervousness into agitation then terror. By the time he's done with me, I can be in tears. This does not happen with other buddies, who think I'm a patient & fun diver with great navigation skills. Sadly, I had wanted us to dive as a "togetherness" thing, but it is so embarrassing to cry in front of all the other divers, & I think it makes them think I'm weak & scares off other buddies. I need support & encouragement to build my confidence, but I don't think I'm going to get it from him. Anyone have answers on how to keep our mutual interest from destroying our marriage? Any psychological insight on why a guy would holler at a nervous wife in the first place?