Divers Song Parodies

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Welcome back Andy. They've missed you in the Pub!

BTW, for lawsuit info, check my sig line.
 
hey john =)

i think i need to stay away from the Pub for my health =)
 
With humble apologies to Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, and all those who love "Teach Your Children Well"

You, who dive a load,
must have a code that you can teach by
And so trim yourself
Because a silt out could mean a good bye

Teach your divers well
They should catch hell, if they really can't dive.
And keep them off their knees,
Teach them your skills, the ones you'll know by!

And don't ever stop asking why, and other questions till they cry
Before you certify.... them as divers!

And you, with fewer dives
Should not contrive, that you know more
So post, with humility
and you might just learn, how we explore

And don't ever stop asking why, and other questions till they cry
They might answer with a sigh, and know we're brothers!

Teach, your instructors well!
Their student's hell, before they drip dry!
And show, all of your new skills
Some they might learn, the ones you'll know by

And don't ever stop asking why, and other questions till they cry
On you they can rely, and know we're buddies!
 
PADI and NAUI and whiskers on kittens
P-valves on dry suits and warm neoprene mittens
Blue H's on webbing, steel backplates and wings
These are a few of my favorite things!

Bright shiny bolt snaps on seven-foot hoses
Black colored mask skirts with purge-valveless noses
Argon and trimix and jet fins with springs
These are a few of my favorite things!

Frog kicks and fundies and J.J. and GUE
Wetnotes and slap straps and a surface marker buoy
Light heads and scooters clipped off on D-rings
These are a few of my favorite things!

When my job bites
When my wife complains
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad!

medium_sound_of_music.bmp


Do you think Fraulein Maria was a diver?
 
This was to the tune of Like a Virgin that Weird Al made Like a Surgeon

"Like a Diver"

I finally made it through my certification
Somehow I made it through
I'm just a newbie
I still make a mistake or two

I was last in my class
Barely passed the last test
Now I'm trying to avoid, yeah I'm trying to avoid
A chamber ride

Hey, like a diver
Divin' for the very first time
Like a Diver
Here's a waiver for you to sign

Oh crap here comes the test
Gotta clear my mask
Complications have set in
Don't know how long I'll last

Let me see, that table
Here we go - time to calculate
I'll stay down for an hour, yeah an hour
And see what I find

Like a Diver, hey
Divin' for the very first time
Like a Diver
Almost done, with the test

Woe, woe, woe

CESA - to the top
The disgrace of the S.D.I.
'Cause I can't control my breath
Yeah can't control my breath
Before I get to the top

Like a Diver, hey
Divin' for the very first time
Like a Diver
Got new gear, on my mind

Like a Diver, ooh like a Diver
When I go under
With my BC, and my regulator, and a tank
Oh oh, oh oh, woe, oh

Ooh baby, yeah
I can hear a boat comin'
OHHH CRAP!

Just threw this together, I'm PADI so I'm not sure if everything I mentioned is actually SDI but it went better than PADI... :D
 
To be sung to U2's "One" . . .



Is it getting deeper
Does your nark feel the same
If it makes it easier on you now
You got backgas to blame

You sign
One tank
One light
With no backups
In the night
One tank
We get to share it
It leaves you breathless
If you don't care for it

Did I not outbreathe you
Or leave a bad reg in your mouth
You act like you’re in deco
And you want me to go without

Well it's too late
Not right
To change the plan once you start the dive
We're buds but we're not the same
We get to carry our own gas
Carry our own light
One

Have you come here for more ratings
Have you come to dive instead
Have you come here to play Jarrod
To the newbies in your head
Did I dive too much
More than I logged
You gave me your pony
Now it's all I got
We're buds
But we're not the same
We bend each other
Then we do it again

You say
Diving is simple
Add some deeper stops
Diving is simple
Hold the deeper stops
You ask me to surface
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be hanging out
On all your stops
When all you got is bent

One bud
One reel
One tank
You got to watch how you feel

One dive
Monitor each other’s
Gauges
Stressors

One bud
But we're not the same
We get to
Dive with each other
Stay with each other

One
One

 
Yay! You resurrected this thread! Thanks!

With apologies to Dire Straits and all who love their "Sultans of Swing"

Sultans of the Deep

I go diving in the dark
to see the pretty sharks and fishies
I roll off the back with my light and everything!
The current's really slight, so I can make time,
I feel alright when I hear the shrimpies sing!

Well I drop down deep, but I don't see too many lobsters!
They all hide under the reefs whenever the divers go down.
Too many hunters, too many hiding places,
I know I'll find em, if I keep looking around!
Way down south. Way down deep off Key Largo town!

Check out Danglie George,
He's all over the gorge.
Hes got all the gadgets he can afford
He just loves to do his thing.

The captain really likes it when you make his scene
Its his full time job, so please tip him right!
He'll put you on the bugs just like anything!
It's up to you to catch em without a fight!
With the Sultans, the Sultans of the Deep!

When the divers are up the Dive Master grabs his clipboard.
Callin' names he loves to hear the divers peep.
That's everyone tonight, now it's time to go home!"
But he makes it fast, before he leaps!
We are the Sultans, the Sultans of the Deep!
 
Doc - Danglie George? That verse rocks!


Here's a cross-posting from the History of SB thread because it really belongs here. Thanks for the encouragment, Doc, and for the ride.

To the tune of the Major-General's song from Pirates of Penzance:


I am the very model of contributors on scubaboard,
I’ve knowledge on all topics, whether commonplace or unexplored,
I like to add to bp/wing and poodle jacket arguments,
Of snorkels, splits, and agencies I can become intolerant.
I post in forums everywhere, I hijack threads relentlessly,
My avatar keeps changing but for now it’s an anemone,
I point out typos everywhere and criticize your bad grammar,
I get the in-jokes all the time, I even know the Warhammer.

I help to keep the mof/non-mof threads eating up the server space,
I’ve been reported sometimes and my posts were pulled to my disgrace.
In short, in scuba knowledge whether commonplace or unexplored,
I am the very model of contributors on scubaboard.



Check out the song in a production with Linda Rondstat and Kenvin Kline in this link, or with Grievous and Obi-Wan in this link
 
https://www.shearwater.com/products/teric/

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