Divers Song Parodies
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The Chairman
Chairman of the Board
With apologies to all those who love John Denver's "Country Roads"...
Real good divin
At Wreckmania!
Walter & MB will teach ya,
While NetDoc entertains ya!
Real swift currents,
Rippin like the wind!
Glad you got a jon line,
And are divin with your friends!
Take me down!
To the wrecks below!
Oh, that is where,
I want to go!
Ancient Mariner, United Caribbean,
Capn Dan, Qualman Tugs, oh let me go!
I see my buddy layin safety line out before me!
Her anti-silt techniques are plum perfect cant ya see?
But somehow I get this feeling
That the people who walked these decks
For so many years
Are still here!!!!!!!!!!!
Take me down!
To the wrecks below!
Oh, that is where,
I want to go!
Ancient Mariner, United Caribbean,
Capn Dan, Qualman Tugs, oh let me go!
Real good divin
At Wreckmania!
Walter & MB will teach ya,
While NetDoc entertains ya!
Real swift currents,
Rippin like the wind!
Glad you got a jon line,
And are divin with your friends!
Take me down!
To the wrecks below!
Oh, that is where,
I want to go!
Ancient Mariner, United Caribbean,
Capn Dan, Qualman Tugs, oh let me go!
I see my buddy layin safety line out before me!
Her anti-silt techniques are plum perfect cant ya see?
But somehow I get this feeling
That the people who walked these decks
For so many years
Are still here!!!!!!!!!!!
Take me down!
To the wrecks below!
Oh, that is where,
I want to go!
Ancient Mariner, United Caribbean,
Capn Dan, Qualman Tugs, oh let me go!
JamesK
Contributor
Someone asked for the green beret anthem,
So here it is, sung to The Ballad of the Green Berets by SGT Barry Sadler.
Cave Divers with a gleem in their eye
Feerless men, who explore and dive
Men who mean, just what they say
The brave men, from the caves.
Silver D-rings on their chest
Backplates and wings, for Americas Best
1,000,000 divers worldwide today,
But only a few, will dive the caves.
Trained to dive between ceiling and sand,
Trained in silt outs, hand to hand.
Deco by night, and dive by day,
Courage taken from the caves.
Silver D-rings on their chest
Backplates and wings, for Americas Best
1,000,000 divers worldwide today,
But only a few, will dive the caves.
Back at home, a young wife waits,
Has her cave diver, met his fate.
He has dived, in times of stress,
Leaving her this last request.
Put silver d-rings on my son's chest,
Make him one of America's Best.
He'll be the man, they'll call one day,
To explore 20,000ft of cave.
So here it is, sung to The Ballad of the Green Berets by SGT Barry Sadler.
Cave Divers with a gleem in their eye
Feerless men, who explore and dive
Men who mean, just what they say
The brave men, from the caves.
Silver D-rings on their chest
Backplates and wings, for Americas Best
1,000,000 divers worldwide today,
But only a few, will dive the caves.
Trained to dive between ceiling and sand,
Trained in silt outs, hand to hand.
Deco by night, and dive by day,
Courage taken from the caves.
Silver D-rings on their chest
Backplates and wings, for Americas Best
1,000,000 divers worldwide today,
But only a few, will dive the caves.
Back at home, a young wife waits,
Has her cave diver, met his fate.
He has dived, in times of stress,
Leaving her this last request.
Put silver d-rings on my son's chest,
Make him one of America's Best.
He'll be the man, they'll call one day,
To explore 20,000ft of cave.
JamesK
Contributor
His eyes are cold and restless
His plan is almost sealed.
And she'd give half of Texas,
Just to feel the way he feels.
She know's his love's in Wakulla,
And she knows he's gonna go.
Well it ain't no woman flesh and blood,
It's that damned ole' H2O!
Well, it's stages in the mud,
It's silt and crud
It's the roar under the Gavin's shroud.
It's the white in his knuckles,
The stainless steel buckles.
He'll scooter like a Merry go Round
It's drysuits and spring straps,
It's neoprene hats
It's Jet Fins from ScubaPro
It's jump lines from the main,
And the joy and the pain
It's a cave filled with H2O!
She does her best to hold him,
Because of vis, the dive was called.
But his need for caves controls him
And her backs against the wall.
And it's "so long girl I'll see ya"
When the vis is clear to go.
You know a woman wants her diver,
Like he wants this cave dive logged.
Well, it's stages in the mud,
It's silt and crud
It's the roar under the Gavin's shroud.
It's the white in his knuckles,
The stainless steel buckles.
He'll scooter like a Merry go Round
It's drysuits and spring straps,
It's neoprene hats
It's Jet Fins from ScubaPro
It's jump lines from the main,
And the joy and the pain
It's a cave filled with H2O!
It'll drive a diver crazy,
It'll drive a man insane.
And he'll sell off convoluted stuff he owns.
Just to get some Halcyon wings.
And some deco time and an empty reel
Is all he'll have to show.
For the years that he spent exploring,
Just to fill that cave dive log!
Well, it's stages in the mud,
It's silt and crud
It's the roar under the Gavin's shroud.
It's the white in his knuckles,
The stainless steell buckles.
He'll scooter like a Merry go Round
It's drysuits and spring straps,
It's neoprene hats
It's Jet Fins from ScubaPro
It's jump lines from the main,
And the joy and the pain
It's a cave filled with H2O!
It's the stages in the mud,
It's the silt and the crud.
It's another cave dive logged.
His plan is almost sealed.
And she'd give half of Texas,
Just to feel the way he feels.
She know's his love's in Wakulla,
And she knows he's gonna go.
Well it ain't no woman flesh and blood,
It's that damned ole' H2O!
Well, it's stages in the mud,
It's silt and crud
It's the roar under the Gavin's shroud.
It's the white in his knuckles,
The stainless steel buckles.
He'll scooter like a Merry go Round
It's drysuits and spring straps,
It's neoprene hats
It's Jet Fins from ScubaPro
It's jump lines from the main,
And the joy and the pain
It's a cave filled with H2O!
She does her best to hold him,
Because of vis, the dive was called.
But his need for caves controls him
And her backs against the wall.
And it's "so long girl I'll see ya"
When the vis is clear to go.
You know a woman wants her diver,
Like he wants this cave dive logged.
Well, it's stages in the mud,
It's silt and crud
It's the roar under the Gavin's shroud.
It's the white in his knuckles,
The stainless steel buckles.
He'll scooter like a Merry go Round
It's drysuits and spring straps,
It's neoprene hats
It's Jet Fins from ScubaPro
It's jump lines from the main,
And the joy and the pain
It's a cave filled with H2O!
It'll drive a diver crazy,
It'll drive a man insane.
And he'll sell off convoluted stuff he owns.
Just to get some Halcyon wings.
And some deco time and an empty reel
Is all he'll have to show.
For the years that he spent exploring,
Just to fill that cave dive log!
Well, it's stages in the mud,
It's silt and crud
It's the roar under the Gavin's shroud.
It's the white in his knuckles,
The stainless steell buckles.
He'll scooter like a Merry go Round
It's drysuits and spring straps,
It's neoprene hats
It's Jet Fins from ScubaPro
It's jump lines from the main,
And the joy and the pain
It's a cave filled with H2O!
It's the stages in the mud,
It's the silt and the crud.
It's another cave dive logged.
JamesK
Contributor
It's Sunday and I am bored at work. I saw the Men In Black one, and wanted to try my own to the same tune.
Ugh, it's the MIB's
Ugh, here come the MIB's
Here come the Men in Black
Here come the Men in Black (here they come)
The DIR defenders.
Lights on, Lights on
Now, now, now
The good duys dress in black remember that
Just in case were ever in a cave and make contact
This is what we are DIR
Means when we do it right, we go far
Strokes don't think
Think the line ends here, but it goes on
Black drysuit with Black Jetfins on
Dive in no vis, deco in silence
Call us a stroke, and we might get violent
But though we ain't on no internet list
We straight don't exist
Left no silt or fingerprints
Saw something strange
switch to mixed gas
Cuz ya never quite know where narcosis is at
Uh and..
(chorus)
Here come the Men in Black (right on)
The DIR defenders (right on, right on)
Here come the Men in Black (the men in black)
Strokes are just pretenders (uh uh uh uh)
Now from the deepest of the darkest cave
On the mainline lookin for a stroke to save
Silted room, can spell doom
But then like boom, black suits fill the room up
With a quickness, make all fixes
No O2 Analyzer? embolyzer? My memories are your fantasies.
Ain't no MIB's
Can I please
Do what we say, thats the ticket
Dive bungee wings, and we'll get wicked on ya
We're your first, last and only line of defense
Against some of the biggest stokes in the universe
So don't fear us, cheer us
If you ever get near us don't jeer us
We're the fearless
MIB's pick up all your slack
What's that stand for
Men In Black
So you want to bounce dive with me.
We don't bounce dive you see
Bounce by yourself c'mon
So you want to wreck dive with me
Rule number 1 ya see
Rule number 1 ya see c'mon
So you like deep air in the sea
Deep air kills ya see
Deep air kills c'mon
Now make your reg work
Now freeze
(chorus)
A'ight check it
Let me tell you this in closin
I know we might seem imposin
But trust me if we ever dive in your cave
It might be your life will save
Cuz we see things will not see
Get your convoluted crap away from me
So save your life
Forget that bungee crap
Show love to the Black suit
Cuz that's the men in
That's the men in..
(chorus)
Ugh, it's the MIB's
Ugh, here come the MIB's
Here come the Men in Black
Here come the Men in Black (here they come)
The DIR defenders.
Lights on, Lights on
Now, now, now
The good duys dress in black remember that
Just in case were ever in a cave and make contact
This is what we are DIR
Means when we do it right, we go far
Strokes don't think
Think the line ends here, but it goes on
Black drysuit with Black Jetfins on
Dive in no vis, deco in silence
Call us a stroke, and we might get violent
But though we ain't on no internet list
We straight don't exist
Left no silt or fingerprints
Saw something strange
switch to mixed gas
Cuz ya never quite know where narcosis is at
Uh and..
(chorus)
Here come the Men in Black (right on)
The DIR defenders (right on, right on)
Here come the Men in Black (the men in black)
Strokes are just pretenders (uh uh uh uh)
Now from the deepest of the darkest cave
On the mainline lookin for a stroke to save
Silted room, can spell doom
But then like boom, black suits fill the room up
With a quickness, make all fixes
No O2 Analyzer? embolyzer? My memories are your fantasies.
Ain't no MIB's
Can I please
Do what we say, thats the ticket
Dive bungee wings, and we'll get wicked on ya
We're your first, last and only line of defense
Against some of the biggest stokes in the universe
So don't fear us, cheer us
If you ever get near us don't jeer us
We're the fearless
MIB's pick up all your slack
What's that stand for
Men In Black
So you want to bounce dive with me.
We don't bounce dive you see
Bounce by yourself c'mon
So you want to wreck dive with me
Rule number 1 ya see
Rule number 1 ya see c'mon
So you like deep air in the sea
Deep air kills ya see
Deep air kills c'mon
Now make your reg work
Now freeze
(chorus)
A'ight check it
Let me tell you this in closin
I know we might seem imposin
But trust me if we ever dive in your cave
It might be your life will save
Cuz we see things will not see
Get your convoluted crap away from me
So save your life
Forget that bungee crap
Show love to the Black suit
Cuz that's the men in
That's the men in..
(chorus)
JamesK
Contributor
I must be really bored today....
Sung to the Marine Hymn
From the caverns of Wakulla, To the mines of Missouri
We explore our countrys caves, no air, no land but sea
First to lay new line and survey, and to keep the cave floor clean
We are proud to claim the title of the Cave Diving Elite
We fill our tanks and dive all day from dawn to setting sun
We have dove in every clime and place and it is always fun
In the caves of jungles in far off lands and in sunny tropic scenes
You will always find us underwater, the cave diving elite.
Heres new line to you and to our team, which we are proud to serve
Panic and anxiety we have to fight, and never lose our nerve
If the wreck divers and free divers ever look on heavens scenese
They will find the caves are gaurded by the cave diving elite.
Sung to the Marine Hymn
From the caverns of Wakulla, To the mines of Missouri
We explore our countrys caves, no air, no land but sea
First to lay new line and survey, and to keep the cave floor clean
We are proud to claim the title of the Cave Diving Elite
We fill our tanks and dive all day from dawn to setting sun
We have dove in every clime and place and it is always fun
In the caves of jungles in far off lands and in sunny tropic scenes
You will always find us underwater, the cave diving elite.
Heres new line to you and to our team, which we are proud to serve
Panic and anxiety we have to fight, and never lose our nerve
If the wreck divers and free divers ever look on heavens scenese
They will find the caves are gaurded by the cave diving elite.
JamesK
Contributor
Last one for today, I promise......
Sung to Alan Jacksons "where I come from"
Well I was rollin tanks and movin gear
"Round that tiny dive boat
When Barney stopped me with a spear gun pointed at my throat
Said sir you broke the NDL in that big ole' set of doubles
I don't know what your thinkin son
Just where do you come from
(chorus)
I said where I come from
It's divin and spear fishin
Where I come from a lotta nitrox mixin
Where I come from trying to waste my liven
We hope theres good diving up in Heaven
Where I come from
Well I was west of Panama City
I pulled in this town named Destin
To try their gulf divin
The sign said it was kickin
Well I tip the crew and the DM asked me
How'd I like the vis
I'll be honest with you ma'am
It ain't like Key West is.
(chorus)
I was gettin deep near 101
Somewhere off the florida coast
I lost a bug out of my bag and had to start all over
This diver stopped and asked me
If I had air to spare
Said Dammint man heres my reg
You just cost me a lobstah dinna!
(chorus)
Well I was headed home on 75
Somewhere around Lake City
I saw a sign for Ginnie Springs
I knew the scenes were pretty
Well I turned in and they asked me
Are you ready to dive today
I said in my smart ass tone
No I just wanna tube the river
(chorus)
Sung to Alan Jacksons "where I come from"
Well I was rollin tanks and movin gear
"Round that tiny dive boat
When Barney stopped me with a spear gun pointed at my throat
Said sir you broke the NDL in that big ole' set of doubles
I don't know what your thinkin son
Just where do you come from
(chorus)
I said where I come from
It's divin and spear fishin
Where I come from a lotta nitrox mixin
Where I come from trying to waste my liven
We hope theres good diving up in Heaven
Where I come from
Well I was west of Panama City
I pulled in this town named Destin
To try their gulf divin
The sign said it was kickin
Well I tip the crew and the DM asked me
How'd I like the vis
I'll be honest with you ma'am
It ain't like Key West is.
(chorus)
I was gettin deep near 101
Somewhere off the florida coast
I lost a bug out of my bag and had to start all over
This diver stopped and asked me
If I had air to spare
Said Dammint man heres my reg
You just cost me a lobstah dinna!
(chorus)
Well I was headed home on 75
Somewhere around Lake City
I saw a sign for Ginnie Springs
I knew the scenes were pretty
Well I turned in and they asked me
Are you ready to dive today
I said in my smart ass tone
No I just wanna tube the river
(chorus)
I came up with the idea for this on the way home from the divesite on Saturday...
To the tune of Monty Pythons "Nights of the Round Table"
---
We're Knights of the Dive Table,
We SCUBA when ere we're able,
We plan our dives and dive our plans
With finwork that's impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot,
We eat bugs and fluke and clams a lot.
We're Knights of the Dive Table,
Our dives are formidable,
But many times, we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.
We're nitrox mad in Camelot,
We breath from the diaphragm
a looooooot.
On dives we're tough and able,
Quite indefatigable,
Between our quests wear sequin vests,
And impersonate Jaques Cousteau.
It's a busy life in Camelot,
I hate to haul the gear about.
To the tune of Monty Pythons "Nights of the Round Table"
---
We're Knights of the Dive Table,
We SCUBA when ere we're able,
We plan our dives and dive our plans
With finwork that's impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot,
We eat bugs and fluke and clams a lot.
We're Knights of the Dive Table,
Our dives are formidable,
But many times, we're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable.
We're nitrox mad in Camelot,
We breath from the diaphragm
a looooooot.
On dives we're tough and able,
Quite indefatigable,
Between our quests wear sequin vests,
And impersonate Jaques Cousteau.
It's a busy life in Camelot,
I hate to haul the gear about.
got4boyz
Contributor
I just found this thread last night and didn't go to bed until 2:00 AM. I was laughing so much my husband made me come to bed so I had to finish it this morning.
Y'all are totally amazing, stirred up some long forgotten creative juices. I used to write poetry but it's been 20 years. Never tried to do any parodies though. Do I dare try???
James and dc4bs, I thought your songs were great. James, you were putting them out like crazy there for awhile. I think you scared NetDoc off! LOL
Y'all are totally amazing, stirred up some long forgotten creative juices. I used to write poetry but it's been 20 years. Never tried to do any parodies though. Do I dare try???
James and dc4bs, I thought your songs were great. James, you were putting them out like crazy there for awhile. I think you scared NetDoc off! LOL
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James, I am truly impressed!
Tom
Tom
