Divers Song Parodies

[artsprite]

I'll have to get the lyrics to give them to you. I can't remember all of them. If you have music match or another radio station program you may be able to download it.

The first line would be " this is the dive" or "that was the dive"...
I'll try to find it.

 

[artsprite]

To the tune of Rocky Raccoon by the Beatles
(if you don't know the tune, listen to it first or the phrasing will seem bizarre.

Well somewhere in the hick state of Oklahoma
there lived an old diver named Iguana Don
And one day he bought a trip on a charter dive
Paid his money as he could Donny knew that he would,
He said I'm gonna dive all day
said i'll dive down the wall see the fish
I'll look around swim out to the lagoon.

Iguana don stepped onto the boat
Only to find no Dive Master
Donny had stowed all of his gear
to follow the rules of the charter.
Dive Master it seemed had broken his dreams
By delaying the start of his diving.
But out of the head, came Dive Master Ted
He said I'm here now and off he did lead them.
Now the weather was great, the water was clear
the dive time was starting to draw near.
Donny jumped in and his buddy Jim
did a stride off the stern that was perfect.
But along came a shark- at Don he would start
and Donny looked at shark in horror.
But Jim came around and grabbed Don's right arm
and yanked him from jaws that were open.
He signed Donny we gonna get ete
And Donny said buddy it's goin away
That shark's gonna go he's gonna go and we can continue.

So, the dive was revived, they went off to the wall
Only to see that Dive Master.
Dive Master Ted said times up ascend
To ruin the dive more than shark did.

 

[The Chairman]

Well my apologies to all who love ZZ Top's "She's got legs..."

She's got regs...

She's got regs!
She knows how to use them!
She dives with tables...
She knows not to abuse them!
She dives days,
Whoaaaaa.... she dives nights...
The girl is alright!!!

She's got tanks!
She knows where to fill 'em!
She dives Nitrox,
Its the best in her opinion!
Her tanks are steel,
they ain't light...
Heyyyyyyyyy the girl is alright!!!

She gots fins!
They're split down the middle!
She's got a BC too,
But it looks kinda little!
She looks cute...
Whoaaaaaaaaaaa, in her tight wet suit!!!
Yo, the girl is alright!!!

She's got regs!
She knows how to use them!
She dives with tables...
She knows not to abuse them!
She dives days,
Whoaaaaa.... she dives nights...
The girl is alright!!!

 

[Dee]

This is one of my favorites so far! Somebody IS keeping a record of these, right?

 

[TexasMike]

More like "Is someone making a record of these??"

Hmmm...Corsair has a good singing voice......

 

[The Chairman]

I should admit at this point that I got to think about this one more than the others. My 2hour+ drive to take my PSI class this past Sunday gave me lots of time and inspirations to come up with some songs... Some I just came up with the first verse or the chorus... like

1)
Bad, bad, Iguana Don!
Baddest lizard in the whole dern pond
Badder than Godzilla-a-a-a
Meaner than a down pilla!

or....

2)
I posted to Joe,
Which started the whole board laughing!
Oh but I didn't see...
That he just corrected me!

or...

3)
Its a story, about a King named Neptune
Who was trying to dive the world all on his own!
He only had one oar in the water,
And he was all alone!

Then King Neptune finally met the Lady Diver!
and she helped him find his other oar!
And together they created our little family,
Thats the way we all became the Scubaboard!

The Scubaboard.... The Scubaboard....
Thats the way we all became the SCUBABOARD!!!

or...

4)
I've been to the ocean with a mask with no name,
'cause I figured they were all built the same.
In the ocean, you only have your own self to blame
'cause you can't see out a mask with no name.

or...

5)
He walked into the dive shop
Like a kid in a candy store!
They had strategically place the cave dive gear
In a glass cabinet by the door!
He had his hand upon his wallet
As the clerk ran up the score
He had a dream that he was a cave diver, he was a cave diver! Annndddd….

He's so D-I-R, he probably thinks the world circles round him
He's so D-I-R, D-I-R, I bet he thinks the springs were made just for him, for him for him!!!
(That was my D-I-R protest song.) (There IS more, but that was inflammatory enough!) (hey, I COULD have left the vain part in… but I was at least nice about that…)

NOW the question at hand is HOW many of you can recognize any or all of these songs??? There are extra points given for knowing the original artist. Super extra points for taking ALL of my songs with your tongue firmly planted in your cheek. If I offended you with one or two of my songs I am genuinely sorry... OK, that is an out and out lie, but I am hoping it will at least head off some of my forthcoming hate mail.

 

[The Chairman]

Um, I am not sure what the copyright laws are in relationship to re-written songs. I am sure there is something there to consider. I have been asked several times to record my silly Boy Scout and Cub Scout songs, but this has always been the unanswered question. As for -my- work, please have at it. As far as I am concerned it is public domain, and you are free to use edit it and spread it around like the manure that it is :devilish: You don't even have to site me as the author... I am not sure I could take the notoriety! Anyway, after writing all of Weird Al’s songs for him, he made me sign a non-compete form. I guess he doesn’t want me showing him up or something…

 

[socaldiver]

Song 1 - Leroy Brown - Jim Croce
Song 2 - I Started a Joke - Bee Gees (Robin Gibb lead vocal)
Song 3 - Theme from Brady Bunch - Don't know artist though (drats)
Song 4 - Horse with No Name - America
Song 5 - He's So Vain - Jim Taylor's ex(?) Carly Simon

 

[The Chairman]

'O tuneful one! Now get thee hence and get thee a life! (as if -I- had any room to talk...)

 

[socaldiver]

Hey, I have a life. Work, play, work, play, read the Board, well you get the picture. Wait, WHERE IS MY DIVING!! ;-0

I need to get wet, 2 weekends in a row I have been blown out. Maybe this weekend.

Thank you for the tunes Piano Man.