Why are so many female divers codependent?

[DennisS]

I haven't seen too many of those co-dependent divers. Most of the ones I know leave the old man at home and go camping/diving.

 

[Dsix36]

So, YOU had the lack of independence problem that became a safety issue. Why try to attribute your personal issues to women divers in general? Your last post should have been your first. Why not just leave it to men to make unflattering generalizations about women? Women do not need to be put down by other women.

Who are you talkin to? What post are you referring to?

 

[drbill]

Although I've seen the kind of women you speak of, mostly at tropical resorts, I find that many of the lady go divers here in California are a more independent type. When I'm not diving solo, almost all my favorite buddies are females who are quite capable of dealing with their gear and diving situations. Several are experienced instructors and dive professionals who know a lot more about the technical aspects of diving than I do... I'm just a marine biologist who dives.

Although I haven't kept any statistics, and can only speak anecdotally about this, I've seen a number of male divers who were as needy as the ladies in terms of help... and more that assert they are well qualified, but their diving "skills" don't show it. I think the women tend to be more honest about needing assistance or not knowing something.

 

[Budgirl]

I don't have any problem with people who need help with lifting and carrying gear. You can always leave your gear floating in the water in an emergency. But this is about divers who could not cope with an emergency without their SO.
The point of the buddy system is for both divers to be competent individuals, therefore better as a team.
Do you check your buddy's gear as well as he checks yours?
Can you rescue your SO in case of emergency at depth?
Can you find your way back to the boat if your SO were confused?
Do you know how to inflate a safety sausage? (I was recently befuddled by one that you had to hold down the button while inflating.)

I used to be dependent on my spouse when we dove together; I am still catching up on skills that I missed because I didn't bother to learn. For example, here is my shame: I have over 150 dives and am just starting to be competent with navigation! I just followed for 150 dives! Stupid compass was just too confusing to me. Well, I finally realized how unsafe that was. My husband and I are both really glad I have found my diving independence. He is finally able to enjoy our dives without worrying about me all the time. I feel more confident and relaxed in the water and am proud of myself.

I agree with what you are saying, we often talk about our diving skills and since my husband is much more experienced he has taught me a great deal. I feel that each dive is an opportunity for me to work on my diving skills and improve. My husband doesnt have to worry about me (he is usually behind the camera), but it is a level of comfort that I have knowing he is there.

I guess my first reply sounded like a helpless woman...not the case...kindof like I clean the toilets/he sets up the dive gear!

 

[annasea]

Who are you talkin to? What post are you referring to?

I believe the OP, RumBum. See post #11.

 

[Hemlon]

No co-dependency here. Of course, it helps NOT having a husband!

 

[Zeeman]

Pretty much all females I have ever dived with (with the exception of an Finish girl who clearly hadn't dived in about 2 years - which she freely admitted and pointed out) have been totally independent. Maggie is very capable of setting up her gear, and also competent in the water. Not to mention a great spotter! The other PPD ladies I have dived with (and there are quite a few) have also all been excellent divers, above and below water.

I do think, however, that sometimes, the guy "insists" on being the tech guy, the guide and the nanny - just because it makes him feel important. It doesn't imply that the female is not capable, it just means she is willing to indulge him and keep everything running smoothly. I don't really see that as a big issue.

Z...

 

[Ayisha]

I used to be dependent on my spouse when we dove together; I am still catching up on skills that I missed because I didn't bother to learn. For example, here is my shame: I have over 150 dives and am just starting to be competent with navigation! I just followed for 150 dives! Stupid compass was just too confusing to me. Well, I finally realized how unsafe that was. My husband and I are both really glad I have found my diving independence. He is finally able to enjoy our dives without worrying about me all the time. I feel more confident and relaxed in the water and am proud of myself.

From your original post, I wondered how you came to the generalizations and assumptions you made about an entire sex. It is clear you were applying your OWN experience across the board. I found that very offensive.

I am an independent female diver. My husband does not dive. I dive with competent female as well as male buddies. I transport, set up, break down, clean, and carry my own gear as do all my dive friends, male or female. When dive ops offer to set up gear, I decline, since no one touches my gear except me. I am rescue certified and keep my skills current, as do many of my buddies, male or female. I am responsible for my own gear and set-up, and can't imagine my buddies think any differently, male or female.

I dive primarily in the very cold (around 38F), often low vis Great Lakes and I don't tend to see these dependent divers. I see some divers lacking in confidence, usually new divers due to inadequate practice, experience and proficiency in skills - not necessarily female divers. I know many female ice divers, tech divers, cave divers - all very proficient and self-sufficient - they have to be to survive in their harsh environments.

Please don't paint all women with the same brush.

 

[shoredivr]

I haven't seen this in coldwater Ontario, either.

 

[Teamcasa]

My lovely bride is a very competent diver. However she does enlist my help as her sherpa. I gladly help with the heavy lifting not to prove my superior strength or to diminish her as a woman or a diver but because I love her and want to help her.