Why are so many female divers codependent?

[RumBum]

If a diver has the knowledge and abilities underwater - then a little help on the surface should not be held against them.

OK, my rant is over, back to your regularly scheduled program.

Don

I don't have any problem with people who need help with lifting and carrying gear. You can always leave your gear floating in the water in an emergency. But this is about divers who could not cope with an emergency without their SO.
The point of the buddy system is for both divers to be competent individuals, therefore better as a team.
Do you check your buddy's gear as well as he checks yours?
Can you rescue your SO in case of emergency at depth?
Can you find your way back to the boat if your SO were confused?
Do you know how to inflate a safety sausage? (I was recently befuddled by one that you had to hold down the button while inflating.)

I used to be dependent on my spouse when we dove together; I am still catching up on skills that I missed because I didn't bother to learn. For example, here is my shame: I have over 150 dives and am just starting to be competent with navigation! I just followed for 150 dives! Stupid compass was just too confusing to me. Well, I finally realized how unsafe that was. My husband and I are both really glad I have found my diving independence. He is finally able to enjoy our dives without worrying about me all the time. I feel more confident and relaxed in the water and am proud of myself.

 

[dpbishop]

First off, your terminology is wrong. The women in the situation you describe are Dependent. The Man is Co-dependent if he is facilitating the Womens diving, but only if the diving is an addiction. http://www.scubaboard.com/forums/basic-scuba-discussions/233842-you-know-you-re-diver-addict-when.html

I usually set up my GF's equipment when we dive, not because she can't, but because if I wait for her to get her nose out of the book she's reading we will never get in the water. When we dive I lead, because she won't, and if I fail to stop when she does, (which she does frequently with no attempt to notify me) it's my fault if we become separated. This does not mean she is dependent, it means she is stubborn and unreasonable.

I introduced her to diving, which she loves. I am the one who schedules dive trips, sets up local dives, maintains the equipment, helps her with her get into and out of wetsuit or drysuit. I do this because I like to dive with her, just as I like to do most other things with her. That's kinda what love is about. But then I'm an old guy and chivalry is a hard habit to break.

 

[rhadamantus]

the women divers in PI, most of us, are actually very independent. most of us got into diving by ourselves...we also set up our gear on our own....

we do not carry the tanks though... but even our guys back here do not do that either. its the PI diving industry service. there are always enough boatmen/boathelp to do it for us.

 

[underwasser bolt]

My wife assembles her own gear and carries it too. I do the repairs, if needed, however. Also, if the terrain is bad I will offer a bit of assistance moving her gear as it is heavy.

 

[Doubler]

I admit I set up my lovely ladies dive gear and I have for 20 years and I will for the next 20. She is one of the most competent divers I know and I refer to her as my spare air. On an 80 when I am at 1500 she is at 2200. I set up her gear, which she can do quite nicely by herself, for the same reason I open doors for her or bring her coffee. It is a sign of love and respect. I do not allow anyone else to set up either of kits. So the operations that offer this service I decline. I don't see the issue!

 

[diver 85]

I see you do not know my wife..............

 

[fppf]

My wife and I are on a level field, we both have even skills (actually her bouyance is better).
We made sure when we started diving we would learn at an even rate.

Now that we have been at it for a while somedays she set all the gear up, other days I set everything up. She gets really sea sick so I tend to get stuff for her when she is over the side. I blew out my ankle really bad last summer and she hualed all gear, set it up, and threw it in the drink for me.

She is also really good at hanging drywall, I really love my wife. Now if I could only get her to cook and do dishes.

 

[Dsix36]

I strongly believe that any diver not mentally prepared to be solo on a dive is inadequate to the task and using another diver as a crutch. However this fact doesn't stop me realizing diving with a competent buddy is always the best policy. ---- Mark Chase

This statement is exactly how I feel about diving

 

[Annemf]

So, YOU had the lack of independence problem that became a safety issue. Why try to attribute your personal issues to women divers in general? Your last post should have been your first. Why not just leave it to men to make unflattering generalizations about women? Women do not need to be put down by other women.

 

[Budgirl]

So diving is an affirmation of you trusting your life to your husband? Every time you go diving, he feels RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE. And somehow that's not going to be a burden to him??? Wow, I'd be all kinds of stressed out if I were him.

I also trust him with my life when I am riding on the back of his motorcycle. Should I have to drive the motorcycle to prove I am woman?

Does it really make a difference if I set up the gear? Its not like he is the reason I dive...I dive because I love it and I am so blessed that my husband is as passionate about diving...It really gives us a closer connection and its never been an issue that he is the setup guy.