What's the nicest compliment you've ever received?

[vladimir]

Assuming you're attractive

You don't have to assume! She's got a picture of herself up there!

 

[Diver0001]

You don't have to assume! She's got a picture of herself up there!

You're imagination is better than mine then. I just see a diver with a really big mask.

R..

 

[vladimir]

You're imagination is better than mine then. I just see a diver with a really big mask.

R..

You're blowing my compliment here, R. Now she'll never want to sleep with me.

 

[Diver0001]

You're blowing my compliment here, R. Now she'll never want to sleep with me.

I feel a Charlie Brown moment coming up any time now.

R..

 

[Ber Rabbit]

A favorite line was from a co-worker. I had stopped to talk to a group of 3 or 4 male co-workers and was making my exit when one of them looked me in the eye and said, "We like to see you coming but we LOVE to watch you leave."

A favorite reaction was at the local college. I was wearing a form fitting skirt and high heels (fairly rare for me) and talking to some friends when one said "The golf instructor is staring at your butt" (I wasn't in his class) Right as my friend made the comment the instructor was turning to go through a doorway and went face first into the wall instead because he was so focused on me.
Ber :lilbunny:

 

[Sas]

I think this sort of demonstrates what I was saying above.

Your friends probably thought that saying this was a compliment

After which they wait for your response. Assuming you're attractive and your response was to wait through an awkward silence and then change the subject then the guy will initially feel "not good" but knowing that this means the intimacy door is not open he will be able to move on.



R..

So I am wondering, is that the right way of handling things? I don't like to make people feel "not good", but on the other hand I don't want them to think I want to sleep with them...

You're blowing my compliment here, R. Now she'll never want to sleep with me.

 

[Diver0001]

So I am wondering, is that the right way of handling things? I don't like to make people feel "not good", but on the other hand I don't want them to think I want to sleep with them...

I don't know how to advise you about that. I guess I would say assume that they're big boys. If you make them feel "not good" for a few minutes and that keeps your friendship on the rails then do it.

You said you change the subject. I don't know what kind of personality you have but if it were *me* I would just be frank about it and say "you're my friend, don't go there". It's crystal clear and doesn't leave any room for trying it again like just changing the subject might..... but that's just me and I'm just philosophising.

Obviously your friends shouldn't be getting suggestive with you and you obviously can't be expected to go there. It's not your problem.

R..

 

[Sas]

I don't know how to advise you about that. I guess I would say assume that they're big boys. If you make them feel "not good" for a few minutes and that keeps your friendship on the rails then do it.

You said you change the subject. I don't know what kind of personality you have but if it were *me* I would just be frank about it and say "you're my friend, don't go there". It's crystal clear and doesn't leave any room for trying it again like just changing the subject might..... but that's just me and I'm just philosophising.

Well see that is the thing. If they are not being frank and just kind of making suggestive comments, I don't know for sure if it is a come-on (as someone else said sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!). So being frank back may be competely inappropriate if that was not their intent. I have always been frank back to guys who are very direct I much prefer that approach, it saves both of us a lot of time!

I remember one time many years ago in a pub me and a female friend were playing pool with two guys for an hour or so. We were having a lot of fun and another male acquaintance of mine came up and said "it is funny watching you chicks try to pick up those guys". I said we both had boyfriends so we were actually just playing pool, nothing more was intended. Well, one of the guys playing pool was standing right behind me and heard that. Well he grabbed his mate and they just walked off mid-game :shocked2: I was thinking, well if they were only trying to pick us up, they should have said that straight away and I could've saved them wasting an hour playing pool with me and my also taken friend Anyway, I hope they found some single girls after us

Obviously your friends shouldn't be getting suggestive with you and you obviously can't be expected to go there. It's not your problem.

Well I disagree with this actually. I have no problem with people hitting on me. All my male friends know I have a partner but if they want to try their luck despite that, they can. I only see it as a problem if someone doesn't respect "no".

 

[Diver0001]

Well see that is the thing. If they are not being frank and just kind of making suggestive comments, I don't know for sure if it is a come-on (as someone else said sometimes a cigar is just a cigar!). So being frank back may be competely inappropriate if that was not their intent. I have always been frank back to guys who are very direct I much prefer that approach, it saves both of us a lot of time!

Sounds like you're squared away then....

Well I disagree with this actually. I have no problem with people hitting on me. All my male friends know I have a partner but if they want to try their luck despite that, they can. I only see it as a problem if someone doesn't respect "no".

You have a partner.... damn!

LOL. Just kidding.

I'd say you're a lot more tolerant than I would be. But then I'm not a woman and my friends have never hit on me.

In my work I have to put myself way out there sometimes to activate people and it's happened on a fairly regular basis that women I work with fell for me without me knowing.... (getting it on with my colleagues is the last thing on my mind at work but the Dutch don't keep those lines really black-and-white)

In one case one of them told me in a lift. We worked together intensively for a few months and then one day between the 3 and the 7th floor she said something to the effect that "I know you have a girlfriend and I just wanted to tell you how disappointed I was to hear that...."

I was like ... totally speechless and did the awkward silence and changing the subject thing too. The silence wasn't intentional. It was the result of me thinking "what did she just say" and trying to work out all of the different possibilities in my mind before deciding that there wasn't anything else it could have been.... LOL.

So I don't know why I was saying that.... oh yeah.... I can kind of relate to what you're saying but I'm sure you have more experience with it than I do.

R..

 

[vladimir]

I remember one time many years ago in a pub me and a female friend were playing pool with two guys for an hour or so. We were having a lot of fun and another male acquaintance of mine came up and said "it is funny watching you chicks try to pick up those guys". I said we both had boyfriends so we were actually just playing pool, nothing more was intended. Well, one of the guys playing pool was standing right behind me and heard that. Well he grabbed his mate and they just walked off mid-game :shocked2:

Not only was this rude, it was bad strategy. Attached women have single friends, and behaving like a gentleman is the surest way to get an introduction.