what do your partners think?

[lifeisfullofgooddives]

99% of the time I dive with my a buddy of mine adam....the only time I don't is when his girlfriend tags along....Now I have dove with other people, both girls and boys who haven't exactly lived up to my standards for a reliable buddy. Which is why I always dive with my buddy. Now if my dive partner was always in a bikini or something like that she might say something. But really wet-suits not that attractive!

My girlfriend of course knows this which is why I never hear anything about me diving, unless of course I am gone for to long...

Now what she is more worried about is what I do during my serface intervals...especially when in the Keys!

But as far as diving goes she doesn't care....then again she knows I would probably to busy with my camera to notice anyone else underwater!

 

[ScubaRev]

Can't believe a marriage counsellor would give advice to give up your friends to assuage your partners insecurities.

IHMO opinion moving the line to "you can't spend any time doing social things with members of the opposite sex without me" reveals quite a bit about the person making the demand and would be a deal breaker for me.

Preeeeeecisely! I couldn't agree more. A demanding, insecure fiance ain't a keeper. Toss her back.

On the other hand, someone who refuses to give up something (diving with women) for the sake of their soon to be wife when there is a viable alternative (diving with men), ain't much of a keeper either.

The needs of a spouse come before friends and hobbies, yes, even (gasp, horrors, heresy!) diving. That people often don't do this, helps keep marriage counselors and divorce lawyers happily in business. Though I am not a "marriage counselor" professionally, the ones I know sure appreciate the business. Keeps my dive buddy well stocked in gear.

 

[scuba41girl]

well..If you are not doing anything wrong, and have no history of that, then it IS irrational. And, if you allow yourself the shorter and shorter leash, then pretty soon you are in a situation where you have succombed to the other person's insecurities and this only manifests itself in new ways.

You can give that a shot, but don't be surprised if you lose yourself....and I would not want a man that became all overly domesticated anyway. "oh...I can't come out and play...my wife is making me mow the grass"

I say, do the right things and don't play into the unreasonable demands of the other person...they will adjust.

I agree, I would never want to be with a man that made the comment "my gf/wife wont let me."
But I do believe maistro made the comment that he was giving legitimate concern for his SO to be upset.

This is not brain surgery folks. We are all well aware of when we are misbehaving and when our SOs are misbehaving. It's a matter of respect.

 

[Cacia]

Sorry...have to say it one more time. Marriage counselor types I have known are the biggest flakes out there. Before I take advice like that from somebody...I look at how well they have done. Most get into that field it out of total confusion, in the first place. 100 bucks an hour? I don't think so...nice try though.

And have you ever known anybody who went and did not get divorced thousands of dollars later? I haven't.

 

[almitywife]

got no idea about marriage counselling but i would swear saying 'yes' to hubby having all his toys is what keeps our home a happy home

 

[scuba41girl]

[we were in a bar with a large group a friends. a guy brought a girl with him (as a friend only) and she got drunk and dryhumped every guy in the place. she even grabbed my bf's crotch. out of respect for me, he has made it clear she is no longer accepted by us because of her lack of class. i know that he would never touch her but i would never accept her diving with him because she made it clear she cannot be trusted. any other girl, i have no problem with...as long as she keeps her hands to herself.

As long as you have faith in your partner why should it matter if you can trust the other women? I totally trust my husband if another women were to grab his crotch he would tell her (not so nicely and very censored) to keep her hands off.....We wouldn't go out with her again only because he would be unconfomertable. I agree with you that women had NO CLASS.....glad you guys dumped her she sounds like trouble.......

Love and trust are a two way street if it's only one way it should be considered a dead end.[/QUOTE]
I believe his words were"complete ****" which she brought on herself. she actually got mad at him afterward. i think she actually expected him to be happy. i trust him completely...who would give up fine wine for distilled swine just having some fun on that one....and yes she is trouble so she was ditched as even a friend of a friend

 

[CentralTxDiver]

I don't get it either...male or female dive buddies...who cares...I just want to go out diving.

Jim

 

[mels_2]

I believe his words were"complete ****" which she brought on herself. she actually got mad at him afterward. i think she actually expected him to be happy. i trust him completely...who would give up fine wine for distilled swine just having some fun on that one....and yes she is trouble so she was ditched as even a friend of a friend[/QUOTE]

the distilled swine types (love that) never seem to grasp the fact that guys may not want to be molested although thats probally the way she likes to be treated.....she probally needs a good smack of reality and self respect.

 

[Hemlon]

the distilled swine types (love that) never seem to grasp the fact that guys may not want to be molested although thats probally the way she likes to be treated.....she probally needs a good smack of reality and self respect.

:11: Wow.

 

[raviepoo]

my fiance doesn't like me diving with females, yet i won't dive with a male buddy. weird, but i'm sure someone else has the same conundrum. she won't get certified and i love to dive. i'm not comfortable to do the diving practices with a guy, actually i would not be comfortable with her doing it either. :no

Honestly? It sounds as if the two of you have some serious jealousy and control issues in your relationship.