HELP me pee...

[ScubaSam]

ok now with all this stage fright talk, I feel badly that every time she gave me the pee sign underwater, I whipped out the camera to capture the moment

Yep, my faithful buddy tries to capture all the important dive moments to share.

 

[mike_s]

I was just going to suggest a 12 pack of beer. Old Milwaukee would probably make it happen the fastest.

Old Milwaukee?


she's trying to pee... not vomit...

 

[gert7to3]

I just bought a front zip, two way zipper, 3mm wetsuit for tropical diving because of this issue. Ohhh man, now I have to go....

 

[MaxBottomtime]

I'm with Tropicalwolf on this one. Most people have no clue what dehydrated feels like. You won't get it breathing dry air for a couple of dives. If I need to go, I go before the dive. I don't hydrate before diving unless I'm really thirsty. 1600+ pee-free dives and counting...

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

ok now with all this stage fright talk, I feel badly that every time she gave me the pee sign underwater, I whipped out the camera to capture the moment

I'm sure ya feel bad ... you always giggle when you feel bad ... right? :evil:

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[Kingpatzer]

Speaking about the buddies watching, taking pictures, just being there . . .

Do you have a local lake or quarry where you would feel comfortable doing an extended solo dive? Maybe see if you can relax and do your thing when no one at all is around?

 

[ScubaSam]

Speaking about the buddies watching, taking pictures, just being there . . .

Do you have a local lake or quarry where you would feel comfortable doing an extended solo dive? Maybe see if you can relax and do your thing when no one at all is around?

I'm not solo certified and in our local quarry, you need that to solo there.

My buddies were there when I had buoyancy and trim issues as I tested out my first BP/W, first set of doubles, fought with a new drysuit/ floaty feet, so they have seen me in my ugliest dive moments and I'm not talking about snot or water-logged look.

I've fallen, stumbled, turtled and face planted on the platforms and surface many times. They have witnessed my most ungraceful and most unflattering behaviors underwater and on the surface so their eyes on me while I pee is really not a hindrance.

 

[The Chairman]

In all seriousness, not being able to pee underwater is becoming a frustrating issue for me.

I remember potty training my little girl, Chelsea. I used to sing her a song... "Tinkle, tinkle little girl..." and you can guess the rest. Use positive reinforcement and reward yourself a cookie or twinkie for even the tinsiest of a tinkle.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

Well ... if you're gonna sing ...

I pee alone, yeah
With nobody else
I pee alone, yeah
With nobody else
You know when I pee alone
I prefer to pee by myself

Every morning just before diving
While sipping my coffee and tea
I'm thinking about my P-valve
That's all I ever need

'Cause I pee alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know when I pee alone
I prefer to be by myself

The other night I laid sleeping
I woke from a terrible dream
My catheter blew a gusher
And my drysuit filled to the seams

So I pee alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know when I pee alone
I prefer to be by myself

The other day on the dive boat
I declined to hit the head
I just slipped out back by the ladder
And relieved myself there instead

'Cuz I pee alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know when I pee alone
I prefer to be by myself

All my buddies they done give up on me
And it makes me feel oh so bad
Ain't nobody who'll swim behind me
'Cus they fear my streamin' blad'

So I pee alone, yeah
With nobody else
Yeah, you know when I pee alone
I prefer to be by myself​

​

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[mselenaous]

To the tune of "When you wish upon a star"

When you piss into the sea,
Makes no difference where you be
Anytime that you desire
Will pee for you