First year of marriage really the hardest?

[bvmjethead]

My wife and I will be married for 2 years on January 6th.

We have had a great two years.

I was 41 and she 37 on our wedding day. First marriage for both of us.

Our first kiss was on the platform in front of the Preacher who married us.

 

[dpbishop]

Babies are easy. Feed em, clean em, bounce em on your knee and throw em back in the crib. Teenagers, otoh, are the spawn of the devil.

 

[Hockeynut]

Babies are easy. Feed em, clean em, bounce em on your knee and throw em back in the crib. Teenagers, otoh, are the spawn of the devil.

Yeah no kidding. If I could shrink these two little bastards back to babies, I do it in a heartbeat.

 

[adurso]

No, the worst is when they come home after 4 years of college still clueless as to a career and look at you as some sort of otherwordly curiosity when you suggest something as mundane as a job........and they still expect to be included in all exotic dive trips.....

 

[HatchetJoe]

Parenthood never ends, about those kids coming back looking for a trip one of my twins explained that he was a struggling medical school student and I should help him out. They never go stop trying. Best thing to do is spend it all before you go.

 

[BTravlin]

Any year can be the hardest if you both are not on the same page.

1. Share all work and decisions regarding finances.
2. Spend two or three years enjoying each other before having kids.
3. Discuss everything major and come to some joint decision before acting.
4. Pay attention to the little things. If he says some little thing you do bugs the hell out of him then try to change it. He should do the same for you. Little things add up over time and cause resentment. Willingness to listen and change shows love and respect.

Best of luck to you.

 

[jmmcintyre]

My wife and I will soon be married 10 years. Marriage is great. Especially when she is my dive buddy.

That is totally what made me continue diving, I always hated diving with people I didn't know; now that I am married I have a permanent dive buddy.

 

[jmmcintyre]

PS. I'm pretty sure babies won't terrify me forever

My wife is a 5th Grade teacher, and sometimes she wonders.

I was finally able to make it in for the yearly Christmas party, and spent a few hours there. I went home, and nearly crashed. I don't know how she handles it and not sure how we are going to overcome that when the rugrats come.

 

[jmmcintyre]

first marriage lasted 20 yrs. Last 3 were worst by FAR (culminating in divorce but I got the kids so it worked out). I was remarried in Fiji last March and it has been spectacularly easy. Of course it helps that her 2 and my 3 kids like us both and get along very well. Also we are certaily not going to have any more kids (I'm 57 , she is 52) and at this stage finances are no problem so many of a first marriages difficulties are past us. One thing I heard but has not been neccesary this time around is to go into marriage with eyes WIDE OPEN and through marriage with eyes half shut. Kids and finances were certainly the major stressors the first time around. Guys just need to truly believe they are loved, and women the same. That's my 1.5 cents. Good luck. It certaily has not been any work at all this time, but we are only in it 10 months and we both dive

That is the biggest thing my wife and I are terrified about, we all know you can't predict the future but everyone around us has been divorced at least once. That is exactly why we decided to date a while before we married. We got married this year, and every once in a while she will turn to me and basically sob because she is worried about the negativity from others getting into our marriage. Other then telling her that nothing is going to happen and console her; there isn't much you can say.

I guess I just have to make sure I do my part to communicate with her!

 

[escapeartist]

I left SB for less than 24 hours and came back to all these fabulous posts! Thanks everyone! I love reading your personal experiences. That's awesome. I appreciate you all sharing so much of yourselves and your relationships.

As for babies, I'm glad that my wife and I are more or less on the same page. We both would like to have kids on day but we're happy to just enjoy each other for the time being....

At any rate, here's wishing you many happily married years.

That's how we feel too! Thank you...many happily married years to you both as well.

One thing I heard but has not been neccesary this time around is to go into marriage with eyes WIDE OPEN and through marriage with eyes half shut. Kids and finances were certainly the major stressors the first time around. Guys just need to truly believe they are loved, and women the same.

Very, very good advice. Thank you!

I was 41 and she 37 on our wedding day. First marriage for both of us.

Our first kiss was on the platform in front of the Preacher who married us.

Congrats! That's quite the accomplishment. Many happy years to you as well.

Any year can be the hardest if you both are not on the same page.

1. Share all work and decisions regarding finances.
2. Spend two or three years enjoying each other before having kids.
3. Discuss everything major and come to some joint decision before acting.
4. Pay attention to the little things. If he says some little thing you do bugs the hell out of him then try to change it. He should do the same for you. Little things add up over time and cause resentment. Willingness to listen and change shows love and respect.

Best of luck to you.

Thank you. Sharing all work decisions has been key. I was just offered my dream job in another city, but I had to turn it down. My husband was very supportive, but I knew in my heart it wasn't the best for BOTH of us. I think that's when I really clued in to how this marriage thing works......it's now about BOTH of us....not just one or the other. I mean, I knew that before, but it's different once you have to put that into action. I grew up quite a bit making that decision.

We got married this year, and every once in a while she will turn to me and basically sob because she is worried about the negativity from others getting into our marriage. Other then telling her that nothing is going to happen and console her; there isn't much you can say.

That's tough. I know how hard it is to keep other people's negativity out of your home. I always say that my home and the three feet around me are drama-free zones! Stand back!!