First year of marriage really the hardest?

[thanksforallthefish]

You have from what I have read already received a lot of very good advice.

No one I have met can tell whether the first year of marriage will be the hardest or not, unless they have a crystal ball that works.
One of the exciting things in life, not knowing what tomorrow will bring be it good or bad.

For me the first year brought compromise and change, as I had not lived with anyone before getting married. I did not find this terribly difficult or stressful, probably because my wife is kind, considerate, thoughtful and forgiving just to name a few of her good points.

I do however believe that as long as you communicate and both are prepared to compromise life does get easier, you become a couple as opposed to two singles living together.

I hope your marriage is as good as mine.

 

[TGreene]

I didn't read all of the previous 8 pages, so I don't know if it's been answered in the manner in which I'm going to or not, but here goes...

When my wife and I met in 1991 we were polar opposites and came from completely different backgrounds. I was a hard core partier, and she was a very sheltered good little church girl.

We were engaged after 6 months, and married 6 months after that.

Our first year was met with tragedy for us, because I shattered my back in a climbing accident shortly before our first anniversary, and it turned our world upside down in very short order. During the time that we should have been focusing on getting to know each other and "acclimating" to each other, we were thrust into a situation which financially destroyed us overnight, and then required months of therapy following my accident.

While trying to recover both physically and financially, it took a serious toll on our marriage far sooner than anyone could ever be equipped to handle things of this nature, and we had a tough time... During all of this, I fell iinto a deep depression and made insane financial blunders which further compounded everything.

As hard as each of us tried to go 50/50 to make everything work, it was always a struggle. One day while I was out hunting with her ex-fiance and we were discussing marriage issues, he gave me the single most valuable tip ever... 50/50 is only going half way, so it takes 100% / 100% from both spouses to ever make a marriage work.

That sage bit of advice from the man she nearly married before marrying me, has changed our lives for the better, forever! He has remained good friends with my wife and I, and though we're now at least 1000 miles apart, we still chat occassionally.

Rather than continuing to go half way on anything, and expecting the other party to go the other half in the hopes of meeting somewhere in the middle, my wife and I chose to change for each other on our own, not because the other expected it as before.

We'll be celebrating our 18th anniversary on April 4th, and we're still on our Honeymoon... We're the sickening sweet couple that others laugh at, yet envy at the same time, because we've completely given ourselves to one another unselfishly. We're absolute best friends and sole mates, and hate being away from each other for more than a few hours at a time.

We chose not to have any children, but we do have a 14 year old cat that is our daughter in every way, shape and form. We also have a pet shark!

We've had our share of ordeals both financially and medically over the years, and sadly the medical stuff just keeps coming and coming where I'm concerned, but we get through it together. If not for my wife, I would have eaten a bullet years ago, but since she's my strength when I have none, we pull through.

I love her more deeply with every passing day, and every breath she takes!

I can only hope that your marriage grows to be as awesome as ours has.

-Tim