LOL Bryan...it'll be fine! Don't overthink it too much.
Actually, Bryan, I would advise running now while you still can... LOL
R..
First year of marriage really the hardest?
- Thread starter escapeartist
- Start date
Please register or login
Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.
Benefits of registering include
- Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
- A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
- You can make this box go away
Actually, Bryan, I would advise running now while you still can... LOL
R..
NudeDiver
Contributor
I'm going to suggest that it's your LAST year of marriage that is the hardest. That's the year you either die, or get divorced. Either way, it's pretty rough.
CamG
Contributor
Hello all,
I am not sure if I want to think back on the worst of it.....but were it not for my wife I know I would not be here now! The first year was great a few adjustments but things went crazy about 3 or 4 years in. I had a job melt down and a long story made short crawled into a bottle for a while. Folks when things are bad alcohol does not improve them! Guess it just took me 3 or 4 years to find that truth. The whole time she stuck it out!! For that she deserves an award!
We spent about one year in counseling and I did another year for un-twisting my head.
Probably the most gut wrenching thing I have ever done, people can say what they want if you can not be honest with yourself and deal with it, you are lost!
I would say for me hardest year was that year but worth it a thousand times over.
The kind of marriage, life I have had since unbelievable. Perfect no way but so awesome! Kids caused some stress but nothing to bad, babies are tough but it doesn't take to long till your with it. I can not imagine life without them.
About 3 years ago a friend urged us to try diving. My wife and I talked it over and decided we needed to choose to do something together because all my hobbies were separate from her. So we decided to give it a try. It was incredible! The best thing we ever did besides counseling. Now we share diving and have a son and daughter that are getting certified also. I have found what I think every guy wants to. I share adventures with my family and I feel awesome about it. Is there still arguments and complaints.... sure but hey we live in real world!
For those reading this and not married my advice to you is to choose your mate very carefully because life can get ugly and messed up beyond all expectations. Only the strong committed ones survive. Love the emotion can come and go but it is the crazy committed determination that sees it through!
I wish only the best for the rest, I hear Dr. PHil is a scuba diver possibly he will chime in on this thread!
CamG Keep diving....keep training....keep learning!
I am not sure if I want to think back on the worst of it.....but were it not for my wife I know I would not be here now! The first year was great a few adjustments but things went crazy about 3 or 4 years in. I had a job melt down and a long story made short crawled into a bottle for a while. Folks when things are bad alcohol does not improve them! Guess it just took me 3 or 4 years to find that truth. The whole time she stuck it out!! For that she deserves an award!
We spent about one year in counseling and I did another year for un-twisting my head.
Probably the most gut wrenching thing I have ever done, people can say what they want if you can not be honest with yourself and deal with it, you are lost!
I would say for me hardest year was that year but worth it a thousand times over.
The kind of marriage, life I have had since unbelievable. Perfect no way but so awesome! Kids caused some stress but nothing to bad, babies are tough but it doesn't take to long till your with it. I can not imagine life without them.
About 3 years ago a friend urged us to try diving. My wife and I talked it over and decided we needed to choose to do something together because all my hobbies were separate from her. So we decided to give it a try. It was incredible! The best thing we ever did besides counseling. Now we share diving and have a son and daughter that are getting certified also. I have found what I think every guy wants to. I share adventures with my family and I feel awesome about it. Is there still arguments and complaints.... sure but hey we live in real world!
For those reading this and not married my advice to you is to choose your mate very carefully because life can get ugly and messed up beyond all expectations. Only the strong committed ones survive. Love the emotion can come and go but it is the crazy committed determination that sees it through!
I wish only the best for the rest, I hear Dr. PHil is a scuba diver possibly he will chime in on this thread!
CamG Keep diving....keep training....keep learning!
OP
escapeartist
Contributor
Hello all,
I am not sure if I want to think back on the worst of it.....
I wish only the best for the rest, I hear Dr. PHil is a scuba diver possibly he will chime in on this thread!
CamG Keep diving....keep training....keep learning!
Thank you so much for the excellent post!! Your honesty is a breath of fresh air. I'm sure if you and your wife can get through that, you can get through anything!
PS: Dr. Phil's a scuba diver??? Awesome! I love that guy.
Deefstes
Contributor
- Messages
- 1,396
- Reaction score
- 49
- # of dives
- 100 - 199
Yeah, great post CamG! Truly inspirational.
Theunis
Contributor
Okay, so I've been married for six months now and I've been wondering if the first year of marriage is really the hardest. I'd like to hear the opinions of those that have been married for a while. My best friend has been married for five years and, although she's very happy now, their first year was awful. I've heard similar sentiments and I'd be interested in what other people think...especially men compared to women.
Okay....go
Hi escapeartist, great thread with some good responses!! You seems to be a very successful, balanced and happy person and I respect you for that!! I saw on your profile you had some dives at Plettenberg Bay, SA. Good for you!!
I know my wife now for about 25 years. We are now married for 12 years. From my experience the first few years of marriage went without any major problems. We have an adorable 7 year old daughter. But as the years passed by it seemed to me that one has to work harder and harder to keep the marriage alive and going!! Good luck for you.
Twistedarts
Contributor
- Messages
- 2,983
- Reaction score
- 15
- # of dives
- I just don't log dives
Actually the Last year is the hardest.
dwatts
Contributor
Hi there, DQ. I think the answer to your original question is particular to each couple. I've read some of the excellent responses that have been posted and figure I would add my thoughts.
My wife and I have been married for 16 years. We were both in our (early) 30's so I think that helped. However, each marriage, like individuals, will have its demons to deal with. One poster mentioned his alcoholism. I've certain known people who have had to deal with this one.
For us, it was something else. In our 7th year, we had a baby that died at 3 days old. This was our 2nd baby. The stress of dealing with something like that can destroy marriages. We were lucky. Through the ordeal I found a new and deep respect for the woman I called my wife.
I guess the point here is that I would say don't worry about the first year being the worst or not. Life can, and eventaully will, throw something your way to really test you (and possibly, your marriage). Remember why you married him and you'll make it through anything.
Oh, I just remembered...the cow thing could be a problem for you. :d
My wife and I have been married for 16 years. We were both in our (early) 30's so I think that helped. However, each marriage, like individuals, will have its demons to deal with. One poster mentioned his alcoholism. I've certain known people who have had to deal with this one.
For us, it was something else. In our 7th year, we had a baby that died at 3 days old. This was our 2nd baby. The stress of dealing with something like that can destroy marriages. We were lucky. Through the ordeal I found a new and deep respect for the woman I called my wife.
I guess the point here is that I would say don't worry about the first year being the worst or not. Life can, and eventaully will, throw something your way to really test you (and possibly, your marriage). Remember why you married him and you'll make it through anything.
Oh, I just remembered...the cow thing could be a problem for you. :d
My first year was great, because we lived together before marriage. Nothing new or shocking.
I share your sentiment. Having kid terrify me.
I used to get the whole cold feet and feeling depressed just at the thought of it.
Lucky husband is understanding.
5 years going to 6 years now, everything is still great. We communicate, we are feeling secure and we loving diving... sharing same hobbies help a lot.
I share your sentiment. Having kid terrify me.
I used to get the whole cold feet and feeling depressed just at the thought of it.
Lucky husband is understanding.
5 years going to 6 years now, everything is still great. We communicate, we are feeling secure and we loving diving... sharing same hobbies help a lot.
almitywife
Vegemite Mod
i wouldnt say the 1st year is the worst but for me it was a learning curve
im an old fashion gal... i went from my parents home to my husbands home when we got married (i married at 32yrs old)
so i went from my time and my money was all my own to having to share and compromise .....
i had to learn to compromise...
at first i felt like i was asking permission (eg, buying expensive shoes that i love or planning my weekend to see my gf's) but i learnt that it wasnt asking permission but taking into consideration
of course hubby had no issues - hes so easy going, not much fazes him
cheers
im an old fashion gal... i went from my parents home to my husbands home when we got married (i married at 32yrs old)
so i went from my time and my money was all my own to having to share and compromise .....
i had to learn to compromise...
at first i felt like i was asking permission (eg, buying expensive shoes that i love or planning my weekend to see my gf's) but i learnt that it wasnt asking permission but taking into consideration
of course hubby had no issues - hes so easy going, not much fazes him
cheers
Last edited:
Similar threads
