Duh... where do some people get their brains?

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Wait. I am guessing she was wearing a rented wetsuit, right? :05:
 
ghostdiver1957:
OK, here's a story I thought you'd enjoy.

Student comes up to me at the pool and says the DM just spit in my mask. I asked the student why the DM spit in her mask and she said to get the fog out. She went on to say she was not going to use the mask that he spit in. I asked her if the spit got the fog out and she looked at it and said - looks like it. So i said well here, you use my mask and I'll use yours for the rest of the class. She happily agreed.

At the end of the class she comes over to give me my mask back and says - wow, that's an awesome mask, how does it stay so clear... it didn't fog up once.

Well I said, I've been spittin' in it for years

So basically you were swapping spit with one of your students.
 
I'm glad I can humor you all... I was waiting for some angry replies that didn't think it was funny... life is still good : ) when you can make it so...
 
lol. Thanks. I like the rented wet suit comment as well.
 
Here is another true story to bring you a smile... this one takes a bit longer to explain... so I hope you enjoy...

I once had a student (an older guy - about 55 years old) sign up to take the OW course. The shop owner told me to be ready for him because he was an affluent retired businessman that spoke 5 languages and was serving as a Luietenant in the Coast Guard Reserve. I figured he meant the guy was smart and I needed to be at my best while instructing this class.

The first night of classroom he did not show up... so I went on with classroom one with my other 9 students. The first night of pool, I show up about 30 minutes early to set up for class. I see this guy (not knowing he's my student) in the swimming pool in a full 7mm wetsuit, mask, fins and snorkel flopping around on the surface like a stranded whale in 2 feet of water. Myself and my assistant think this is hilarious and can't stop laughing.

As my other students begin to arrive for class, the shop owner stops by to say hello to everyone. When he sees this guy flopping around in the water, he walks over to me and asks "what the $@#* is Curtis doing?" I'm like "That's Curtis, my missing student?" He says yeah, get him out of the pool right now.

I walk to the edge of the pool and tell the guy to get out of the pool, we're about to start class. He looks up at me and says "oh, I got started early."

This was the beginning of an interesting class. As I assembled all of my students on the pool deck for a briefing, I gave my little speech about what to expect the first night. When I was done, I asked the group if anyone had any questions before we got started.

Curtis raised his hand. "I have a question and it's very important." Go ahead Curtis, I said. He proceeded to ask - "What do you do if you're in the water and someone starts shooting at you." With as straight a face as I could keep I replied "Curtis, if someone is shooting at you when you're in the water, the best thing to do is flop around on the surface like a stranded whale... just like you were doing when I got here tonight. It will fool the enemy into thinking you're an animal and not a dangerous Coast Guard Diver."

He thought about it for a second and asked if it might not be better to dive down deeper so the bullets couldn't reach you. At that moment I realized I had a complete idiot on my hands. Needless to say Curtis never received my signature to receive a c-card. His skills in the pool never progressed and his brain was absent from the get go. The shop owner argued with me about passing him because he spent alot of money in the shop... and I said if you want to sign it... you sign it. Guess what, about three months after I left that shop, I was told Curtis got a c-card... We can all feel alot safer now knowing Curtis is out there protecting us.

God Bless America.
 
ghostdiver1957:
I'm glad I can humor you all... I was waiting for some angry replies that didn't think it was funny... life is still good : ) when you can make it so...
I think it's hilarious ... what do you suppose she will do when she takes off her mask and someone tells her that she's "smuggling nudibranchs" ???

... Bob (Grateful Diver)
 
surfbummer:
Man, that's a hoot! What did the student do for the alternate air source exercise? Bring his/her own mouthpiece?

Close, she wanted to use a pony so she wouldn't have to use someone elses mouthpiece. Amazingly, she never did finish class.
 

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