This really is a polarising discussion... people feel 'attacked', 'what do you mean I'm a tourist?'... it reminds me a bit of typical DIR discussions (no I won't go there

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This is because you are calling names implying being inadequate ('tourist') and make broad general statements.
That being said... I do agree with you Brian. IMO selfreliance in a diver is:
- being able to plan a dive taking in consideration all factors and then stick to the plan.
- being able to use your equipment, know it intimately
- being able to calculate risk factors, and more importantly weigh them against your own experience (can I do this dive?, it's not because I have 1000 quary dives that I can do this wreckdive)
- being able to dive with anybody (not just your prefered buddy)
- being able to gauge your potential buddy, both above and below water
- Have the necessary techniques (byuancy, trim, finning, navigation, communication, descend and ascend, deploying SMB, OOG simulations, etc etc)
- etc etc etc
All of the above can be learned just by diving. Since diving is mostly a sport which you learn by doing! However I also know 'divers' with more then 500 dives under their belt who I don't trust, who are IMO not adequate and no self reliant divers... so it's not only number of dives but also MINDSET and good examples.
IMO you can have a vacation diver who did 50 dives in a quick row, and after that only once a year holiday dives who is perfectly self reliant because he had a good instructor and a good mindset. You can also have a macho 500+ wreckdiver who I won't trust below 60 feet because he's really only done trust me dives and not even realising this.
Lastly... the most important thing is knowing when you are out of your depth and when to call a dive. I may have experience in low vis, cold water, deepish, (wreck)dives, but this does not mean that I should go gun ho in the Mexican cenotes... I' ve got no cave(rn) certs and I'll be a bigtime tourist there.
Cheers and just dive
PS: I consider myself a diver since I have more dives then posts on this board ;-)