Why do we bash each other?

[GeorgeC]

I stand corrected. ..... For the record, I'm damn glad she's a great cook and her butt isn't too big.

This is too funny.

I wonder how it would sound if she said "For the record, My husband is a great diver and his penis isn’t too small?..

 

[mafiajoe]

Boy, do we all talk(type)too much!:bored2:

 

[TheSmoothDome]

This is too funny.

I wonder how it would sound if she said "For the record, My husband is a great diver and his penis isn’t too small?..

You've met my wife huh?

 

[GeorgeC]

Boy, do we all talk(type)too much!:bored2:

The Mafia does not like talkers!

 

[firstdive2005]

Motivational Interviewing authored by William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick.
A good read for those that wish to be able to persuade/show posters that their 'style' or 'knowledge' is second to none. Also it is probably a good book to point out that every explanation will have been received differently by as many receiving said knowledge.
I are not that smart and for that matter very simple, also because I think I'm smart I'm overly sensitive without being feminine.(Not a slam towards the fairer sex, I just did not know how else to say it).
Consequently I have butted against, instead of accepting, the OPINION because it sounded/read to me that it wasnt an opinion but that I was wrong in the way I think. Which was probably the case.(wrong the way I think)(pretend this was not put in)
Anyway it is about time a thread was started like this. 10 years. New Year coming. It's good to clean up once in a while. I for one have learned to TRY and communicate better here. Go back and read some of my participations, you will see a progression of change.
I do not relate the same in person as I do here. I am more apt to listen first, qualifiy, listen again, requalify, then ask if I may give them an opinion even though I know thats what they want. Sometimes quidance questions asked of me are also ask of other people and I know that. I dont ask the questioner if they have received other info so I can try and crush it or say that is wrong or right. How presumptive of me to think I have the only right answer. I live easier with myself knowing I need others always to give me opinions so I may form my own. I am a critical thinker. A simple one.
These forums are chalk full of very intelligent, thoughtful, well schooled people. Most have more degrees than a thermometer. This often gives license to overzealous opinions and shortness in patience. Also leads to posters thinking that everyone should be able to mindread their intentions in their writing prose.
I think newspapers write at a grade 6 level so there is no misunderstanding in literate thinking. To bad it isnt absolute truth there too. Like the myth feels.
I love this board. It has become a great source of instruction and friendship building. I have met so many people on Cozumel island as a result of the Coz forum. It sucks when people say 'I thought you'd be better looking.'
I want to thank Netdoc and the diligent mods that have cleaned my clock when it was needed. I want to thank them for keeping this place a place to learn.
Pete you are a great servant leader. I want to wish you great health in the new year and good times in looking after the best board on Earth. IMHO. kevin

 

[boulderjohn]

Neither were the two other posts prior to mine expressing opinions in the thread. The initial post was asking for opinions, isn't it obvious that any response to a request for opinions will be an opinion?
...

It has become clear to me that some people are not able to understand that statements of value are always opinions. I will try to remember this and to clearly state when I'm expressing opinions. I'm sure I will forget from time to time, but I will make an effort. It does seem to be a bit of a double standard, but I will try regardless.

Y
Then isn't it obvious that all responses are opinions?

I used to spend a lot of time on this when I was a writing instructor. It really is a bit complicated.

Yes, a statement of opinion is a statement of opinion, regardless of how it is stated. Whether or not you say "I believe" or something to that effect makes no real difference. Unfortunately, it is not all that easy.

First of all, many people do not realize that a strongly held opinion is still an opinion. In a recent thread in particular someone made a strong and provocative statement of opinion to which others took exception. In his defense, the poster said that what he wrote was nothing but facts and those who disagreed were foolishly wrong in denying it. Some people make posts like that, in which they are stating opinions they believe to be facts simply because they are firm in their beliefs. It is nearly impossible to have an intelligent conversation with such people because they are immune to reasonable discourse.

In other words, many readers are accustomed to posts in which the poster believes his or her opinion is a fact.

When you write opinions on controversial issues in such decidedly frank terms, you become linked with such people, even though you yourself may realize it is just an opinion. The implied message is "Don't bother with facts and logic; my mind is made up. Anyone who disagrees with me is a fool who cannot face the facts."

I therefore told students to make a decision when they wrote about what implied message they wanted to accompany their words. They could make their opinions statements sound like bold unquestionable facts, or they could invite discussion and disagreement.

I further cautioned them to avoid making such bold statements unless they were really sure. Just because you have never experienced something yourself does not mean it does not exist. Just because you cannot do something does not mean it cannot be done. To give an example of something like this that will not cause a controversy, I used to tell students that they will not be able to remove their regulators from the tanks until they had purged the system, but one memorable day a student proved me wrong. I now use a qualifier when making that statement. You see this all the time in the many debates on online education, in which people who have never seen a well designed online class imagine what it must be like and then make sweeping pronouncements about it.

 

[TheSmoothDome]

Yes, a statement of opinion is a statement of opinion, regardless of how it is stated. Whether or not you say "I believe" or something to that effect makes no real difference. Unfortunately, it is not all that easy.

I therefore told students to make a decision when they wrote about what implied message they wanted to accompany their words. They could make their opinions statements sound like bold unquestionable facts, or they could invite discussion and disagreement.

Well stated. I was working on a long winded response to address this very issue and the way I dealt with it as an English teacher. As you alluded to, there are many ways to imply opinion. I over simplified for the sake of well, simplicity. The biggest tip I always gave my students was to read aloud what they had written and reflect on whether it accurately explains what you mean both in statement and in tone.

 

[Water Monkey]

I'm with you GeorgeC. I just love to dive and to talk about diving. I don't care about all the macho bs so I just ignor it.

 

[Hoomi]

On the old "does this dress make my butt look big?" question, it should be remembered that honestly doesn't necessarily preclude tact. We can be honest while still being sensitive to the feelings of others.

Yes, it might be completely honest to say, "that butt would still look huge in a circus tent," but it can be just as honest (and safer for long-term relationships) to say something more along the lines of, "it really isn't the most flattering fashion for your figure."

Do we prefer to have someone slam their different viewpoint into our faces with all the subtlety of a trainwreck? Or would we rather have someone express their side of the discussion with respect and tact?

Heaven help us if the only way we can see another opinion is if it is delivered with a battering ram!

 

[Mike Boswell]

Why do we bash each other? Here is a theory:

We are not like other animals, living in peace with nature. Our creations and inventions keep us alive. Our forebears argued heatedly and often violently about the best way to raise a child, tan a hide, or shape a stone tool. We still do. If our diets are not nutritious, or our medicines don't work, or our arrows don't fly straight, or our roofs don't shed water, we weaken and die, and another, stronger tribe takes over our territory.

Thus, we humans have learned to ruthlessly critique and continuously improve every aspect of our culture, our science, and our technology, because our survival depends on it. Throughout history, these "discussions" about the merits of one thing versus another have made us the most successful - and most contentious - animal on earth.

It is worth considering that scuba diving would not exist at all, if humans didn't passionately argue about better ways to do things.

Compared to that, what are a few hurt feelings? (Insert ironic tongue-in-cheek thingy here)