Why are so many female divers codependent?

[divergirl6]

Wow, this thread is making me chuckle to myself - but then my situation is a little different from most people's. I started diving simply because I am interested in the underwater world. I didn't know anyone who does scuba and through it I have met people and also have convinced some others to try it. I am small, 5'2" and 105 lb. but I can lift/carry all my own gear and certainly put it together. In my OW dives and with the people I've dove with outside of it they've always been very supportive of doing it yourself. IMO you should learn to do it yourself. Who knows? You could very well find yourself in a situation where there were people who needed help from you. I certainly don't want to be dependent on anyone else. I want to be in control and I personally find it a little weird if you don't. I'm OK with a little help carrying the tank if someone offers even though I don't necessarily need it. But what really gets me is that some people don't set up their own stuff. Come on! Isn't that a requirement for getting certified? Bottom line is, I think that EVERYONE should be capable of being independent. Of course there are always exceptions, such as people with injuries, but I believe that the majority are capable. If you're not strong enough, work towards it! There's nothing wrong with being tough!

divergirl

 

[Amazz]

My husband was sick in bed one day on our honeymoon. I went diving without him. I guess I don't qualify as a co-dependant diver.

 

[mathauck0814]

I'm pretty sure the last time a man tried to touch my wife's equipment they got a tongue lashing similar to if I came home after midnight smelling of anothers' perfume.

But then, she's a pretty serious diver... so maybe there's a qualifier in there someplace.

 

[Damselfish]

Understanding how and why people behave the way they do and doing things that may prevent problems down the road is not a bad thing. But the level of generalizations made about men and women in the starting post of this thread I find...well I don't know what but it's not good. There are women who depend on others too much or do dumb things, likewise for men. But personally, I see very little if any of it among my family, friends, or people I dive with. I must hang with a different crowd.

Of course just helping each other out or working as a team is not dependency, nor is it dependency (at least not in this negative sense) when someone has a good reason for needing help with something.

 

[LisaPT]

I'm just in the process of getting certified, but I have to chime in.

First, is diving really considered and extreme sport? Yiks. I just want to go under water, putz around, and see stuff. I'm not about to do a water equivalent of jumping out of a helicopter and onto a mountain in order to ski down it. (I have nothing but respect for those who do such things, but such things are not for me.)

Second, if I was dependent on my husband for diving I'd be in deep trouble. He is somewhat afraid of the water and doesn't swim very well. Thankfully, I'm an engineer and have no trouble doing setting up equipment. My biggest problem is figuring out what dive computer I should buy (thankfully, I'm going to dive with the tables on easy trips for a while, so I have time), but as a gadget-girl, I want all the bells and whistles.

 

[FinnMom]

A lot of co-dependence may also be a guy doing everything possible to encourage an interesting in diving. As I know I and many of my friends do with our kids. It's not that they aren´t capable, independant divers, it´s just that we´re so tickled to have them along we can´t help ourselves.

One of my favorite posts [not mine] was in answer to the question: "What do you expect from your dive buddy"?
5-star A-1 answer: "I´m used to having my dive buddy wake me up to tell me breakfast is ready, drive me to the boat, help carry my gear, provide company, conversation and assistance throughout day, and also pay for the day´s diving, meals and all other possible expenses. Of course I´ve only ever gone diving with my dad ;-) "

 

[mainedvr]

My wife does all her own assembly and set up. While I do do most of the research on the gear and we do look to make our gear as close to same as possible, if she can't get the gear on and to the water then she is not diving it and same for me. We both agreed early on that we needed to be dependent on each other but able to be totally self sufficent. So far so good, but I can see where someone like myself that is kind of a control freak could take control very easily. But man I hate carring my own tanks let alone my wifes . Though there are times that my chivalry takes over and I will carry her tanks in from a dive when we get home.

 

[Selchie in LB]

FinnMom that is awesome! Will he do that for me?

Sent from my LG-P999 using Tapatalk 2

 

[bowlofpetunias]

I have to say I find it frustrating waiting for people to cater to divers who can not seem to get in our out of the water without relying on everybody else to help them. Chivalry is fine, being polite, helpful is fine but so is being considerate not just in offering help but also in accepting it. IMHO if you do not do everything you possibly can to get yourself geared up, in, out and geared down you are being inconsiderate of your Helpers!

There are times I need assistance and that will increase as my arthritis progresses. I do everything I can for myself but appreciate help when it is needed. I make sure the need is as minimal as possible. I set up my own gear and appreciate it if others keep their hands off my gear. I politely let people know that I prefer to be independent, I appreciate their kindness and will let them know if there is anything I need help with.

OTOH I watch some divers who seem to require 2 or 3 assistants to get them in the water for no real reason that I can see.. gives us females a bad name! lol but then I have also watched someone fix her makeup during the surface interval! :doh: If everyone on the boat is watching you fix your makeup.. doesn't that kinda negate the purpose?

I figure that gender should not have anything to do with how much help a diver needs.

 

[Thiad]

I will say that diving a drysuit does require some reliance on another to assist. Yes, I can do my own zipper, but somehow contorting myself to pull it on a final check? It's a comedy of two-left feet. My coordination skills are well, bad. Getting out of a BC after a dive? Oh, that's another good one. Pillsbury Doughboy ain't got anything on me. Something about that left arm and the valve that just never wants to come out right.

Does this drysuit make me look fat??

It's nice to see young women out there doing this sport for the love of doing it - not because they're following their guy into the water. If you're doing it to be with a guy, sure, try it and see if you like it. Maybe you will. But do it for the right reasons.

And to LisaPT, is this an extreme sport? Maybe, maybe not. But sure! Why not? It's anything and everything you want to make of it. But ask this question... Does your life insurance company care if you dive? Yeah - some sure do. My life insurance company has a thing for rock/ice climbers, pilots, divers and jumpers (to name a few). I have three riders on the policy so if I die, it better be doing something they think is safe - like running with the bulls or swimming with polar bears.