KD8NPB
Contributor
A woman leads the local wednesday night dives out here.
Her husband shows up occasionally. He's out due to medical stuff.
Her husband shows up occasionally. He's out due to medical stuff.
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In March, we took a Western Caribbean cruise. One of the stops was Belize and the hubs skipped a dive opportunity to cave-tube with me. Most of the women did not carry their own tubes to the site (a 30 minute walk). I expected to carry my own. He would have done this for me, but I generally feel I am responsible for myself and my stuff. I've always been that way.
I decided to get my certification to help me overcome some aversion to water and getting my head wet (except for shampoos). I am very, very glad that we did not cert together as he tends to hover and interfere (he would believe that he is helping). I stunned my entire family! However, if he want to tote the heavy stuff, I won't stop him!
Just another perspective on this -- it is as bad to be unreasonably INDEPENDENT as it is to be overly dependent.
I think, for some women, it is very difficult to accept help, especially from men, because it risks being SEEN as being dependent or lesser.
I recently did a trip to Florida to cave dive. Right before the trip, I hurt my back. Carrying doubles made me feel as though someone was sticking a knife in my right sacroiliac joint with every step. A smart person wouldn't have been carrying doubles . . . but not me. In fact, even after I ARRANGED to have someone else schlep the biggest tanks, I was so embarrassed, watching her take them to the water for me, that I walked them out.
I did one dive a day on a trip across the country, and although there were many reasons for that, one of them was that it hurt too much to do more.
A smart person would have asked for, and accepted, help. In fact, I just lectured Lizard Leg about that very thing, and realized how hypocritical I was being