Why are so many female divers codependent?

[LavaSurfer]

I don't think either sex is doing this purposefully, it is a cultural issue. We have been raised this way. But we need to break the mold. My husband is now going to seperate the men and women for every class until the last dive. I am seeking women to buddy up with. I am encouraging new girl divers to come out to the lake with me, without the spouses. I am thinking of setting up a Girls Only Dive Club. Would you believe, in my husband's last class, a poor girl had to ask him if she could dive with a tampon? She must have been so embarrassed! But that's something important that should be included in our dive training. Agency curriculum does not address Diving On Your Period or How To Fit Your Boobs In A BC. How can women learn to dive independently if the agencies, instructors, and diving community do not address our feminine needs?

Great Idea, I often get so frustrated when a Man feels the need to play instructor while in the class with the Wife. I see this same situation with the masculine form in the Lesbian relationship too and every once in awhile the woman that basically owns the Husbands Huevos.

I have separated couples many times in the pool because they can talk and often it interferes with their learning or the learning of others. On Open Water I am leary to separate as they need to get experienced with each other. They will undoubtedly do a lot of buddying together in the future so I like to reinforce that from the first open water dive. Pool if I can but I WILL separate them if I must.

Isn't the Boob and Tampon issue covered in the Manual under crap we don't want to talk about:11: :rofl:

I always tell them not to let someone mistake the Tampon for an ascent line. Thats all I cover there...

 

[Budgirl]

When I said I know my husband will keep me safe is because he has been in that position. Last year we were doing a dive in Cozumel and being a newbie I was in awe and had a false sense of security and safety. We were on a wall dive and were at 80' when I saw a beautiful turtle just below us, so I decided to swim a little closer and my husband came up beside and showed me my depth gauge and signaled for me to go up...I think I was a little narc'd cause I kept asking him if he was okay, because for the life of me I couldnt understand why he was showing me my depth gauge which read 105' and was signalling to go up...so I told him I was okay and said look at the turtle...he realized that I wasn't getting the point and pulled me up, pointed to the dive master (above us) and told me to level off...when he pulled me up by my tank...I finally got it!

A huge mistake as a diver...a bigger lessoned learned...and I am thankful that he has both the experience and the awareness to watch out for his dive buddy that was obviously doing something both stupid and dangerous.

As his dive buddy I know that I am the more inexperienced diver which is why I am constantly trying to improve my dive skills and learning more about being a better dive buddy.

 

[almitywife]

...... We don't look awesome with mask lines and snot on our lips. Lots of women don't want to be seen in a wetsuit. Well, they're just missing out, but honestly there are some women who are just too vain/ high maintenance for scuba......

to the women divers out there that do want to look good at all times, care about their hair and makeup while diving doesnt necessarily mean they are high maintance or vain - they might just have high personal standards. me - im just glad to get out of the water without snot on my face



i would say most women i see coming thru the shop are learning to dive for their partners and not themselves

but, most women i see regularily at club dives, weekly dive sites and dive trips would be women who are diving because they enjoy it for themselves

im guessing most women that learn to dive for someone else doesnt dive for long or they become vaccay divers

ive always been independant, learnt to dive before i met hubby and ive never had anyone put my gear together

 

[RumBum]

I agree with those who have said that the helpless divers tend to turn up in open water classes and in clear tropical waters. They end up as vacation divers or occasional divers and they usually dive exclusively with the SO.
The point of this thread is that agencies and individuals can address this by:
1. separating spouses during classes
2. adjust instruction according to student needs (for example, mention in class that sharks won't attack you because you are menstrating...)
3. shops and manufacturers need to design, educate, and advertise gear for women - look at that Scubatoys ad with the hunks! Good job, Joe and Larry! :10:
3. choosing to dive with others besides the spouse. Diversity is the spice of life, you know.

 

[almitywife]

I agree with those who have said that the helpless divers tend to turn up in open water classes and in clear tropical waters. They end up as vacation divers or occasional divers and they usually dive exclusively with the SO.
The point of this thread is that agencies and individuals can address this by:
1. separating spouses during classes
2. adjust instruction according to student needs (for example, mention in class that sharks won't attack you because you are menstruating...)
3. shops and manufacturers need to design, educate, and advertise gear for women - look at that Scubatoys ad with the hunks! Good job, Joe and Larry! :10:
3. choosing to dive with others besides the spouse. Diversity is the spice of life, you know.

i know instructors that do separate couples in OW so it is happening and when hubby was a new instructor, he would often ask me menstruating questions as he was being asked it by students - so again, it is being addressed. in fact when i cast my mind back 10yrs to my OW it was raised by my instructor back then also

as far as #3 goes - my hubby is my buddy 98% of the time my buddy or i prefer to dive solo these days. plus i dont want him diving with other people when im available. afterall, with work and family its nice to have time together/doing things together

what if 2 brothers come in for OW - one is more dependant on the other, would you break them up or leave them together. what if one of the buddy pair was paraplegic or an amputee, would the dependance be more acceptable because it is physical

is your angst more with GF's/wives and your perceived weakness of dependence?

cheers

 

[rhadamantus]

oh i don't know, rumbum, i just find it sad when people get so anal about how stuff should be done that they have to set aside what is more fun and convenient anymore....

i mean, the way i look about what you are saying is that- if i get into riding bikes (which zsolt loves so much and which i cannot really stand), i must start the learning process on my own while he goes on his normal business riding bikes with his friends who were already doing it since god-knows-when. for me, i see no point learning to do that hobby/sports if he is not going to be teaching/helping me learn it when the sole reason i would ever get into riding bikes is for him (maybe eventually, i would love it, but at this point, the only reason i would ever consider it is if he points a gun to my head- okay, i was just kidding, but you get the idea...)

personally, i do not think the agencies in the diving industry has to concern themselves about separating couples during classes. some girls are just really dependent on their spouses/bfs/partners and liked to be pampered and looked after every time.

just like some guys are just really so anal about them being the knight in shining armour all the time....

 

[Bratface]

I beg your pardon....I am a single female and have had to help out many men on dives. I am one of the few independant female divers, I guess. I do agree with you though. I see it all the time where women can't haul their own gear, set it up or even check their air. Many of them are in danger and don't even know it. Too many men pressure their women to take up diving when they really don't want to. It's a dangerous situation.

 

[RumBum]

what if 2 brothers come in for OW - one is more dependant on the other, would you break them up or leave them together. what if one of the buddy pair was paraplegic or an amputee, would the dependance be more acceptable because it is physical

Yes, I would still separate the brothers. Obviously someone who is a parapalegic or an amputee is going to need extra help but that is a different situation entirely and I don't see how it relates. I do know a diver who has only one leg and he is an amazing diver, completely competent in the water.

is your angst more with GF's/wives and your perceived weakness of dependence?

I think I am trying to encourage more safety concious dive practices. Could be just stirring up a bucket of chum, but I have good intentions.

 

[Hemlon]

I think I am trying to encourage more safety concious dive practices. Could be just stirring up a bucket of chum, but I have good intentions.

Let's just say that some things make sense now.

 

[Eau_Girl]

I just found this which made me giggle!

YouTube - Real Housewife Vlog: On Scuba Diving

I have seen a few of the types you described, and I doubt they will be diving for long.
Fortunately I've seen lots more women divers who love the sport and are independent and take care of themselves!

I started diving because it was something I had always wanted to do and was hooked from the first pool session! In fact if I meet a guy I might want to get serious with, I might try to get him into diving. BUT only if he had an interest -- as a DM i've had to help out with too many OW candidates who were scared silly and only doing it to please their partners. :no