Why are so many female divers codependent?

[DOkie]

As far as the "both" comment: I just found it interesting that the replies to my most recent post came from the same individuals that found my original post so extremely offensive and made me well aware of it.

You say that everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be able to post it but that's not entirely true. There is a distinct difference in people disagreeing and people being disrespectul. This has nothing to do with having a thick skin. After my original post, I was told that I was insane and should be ashamed of the way that I interact with my husband. All for silly little things that I ask him to do. I apolgized for generalizing "women", yet it continued. Yes, I do take offense to this. And yet again, when I place a new post because I found the credit comment amusing I'm being "snarky" and worded things "poorly". That's quite enough for me.

 

[Sas]

You say that everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be able to post it but that's not entirely true. There is a distinct difference in people disagreeing and people being disrespectul. This has nothing to do with having a thick skin. After my original post, I was told that I was insane and should be ashamed of the way that I interact with my husband. All for silly little things that I ask him to do. I apolgized for generalizing "women", yet it continued. Yes, I do take offense to this. And yet again, when I place a new post because I found the credit comment amusing I'm being "snarky" and worded things "poorly". That's quite enough for me.

I have not called you insane or told you to be ashamed of your relationship. You say you apologise but keep bringing up the topic. Like earlier when you said you apologised and then had a go at me for my occupation. Even after you said you were not trying to speak for all women you said

All I'm saying is that we have a tendency to make sure men know that we don't need them. "I can do anything a man can do" No you can't. "I don't need a man to help raise my children". A male role model is beneficial to a childs development. Yet at the same time women are picking and choosing when they want to be treated equal. Work in a factory... Do you get offended by the jokes and pin-ups? But you're one of the guys. If we're going to be equal, then let's do it all the way. No more materinity leave. You have to save up your sick time and be back to work at the end of the week. No? But you want to be paid the same as the guy that's there for the 6+ weeks that you're gone....

Apologising and then continuing to do what you apologised for, is not a real apology

But yea, I don't care what you do in your spare time with your partner, however I will disagree with you when you post on a public forum your opinions if I happen to disagree with them . If you do not like that (which it seems you don't), stop posting. It's that simple.

 

[Gilldiver]

I have been lerking on this thread for a while, just droping in now and then to see what is being said. But tonight I found this:

YouTube - Real Housewife Vlog: On Scuba Diving

What type of diver do you think this girl, om woman will be?

I have seen this way too many times where one half of a relationship "forces" the other half into diving. It just about never works - for both diving and the relationship - and we will see some if not most of the gear for sale in about 3 years.

 

[MeiLing]

We are only up against ourselves, in the end. If I had a man my age, I could look better.

Honey, that is one arena I wouldn't be willing to make sacrifices to compete in! In actuality, you've achieved some real gender equity in at least one arena. After all, it shouldn't be just the guys with some PYT (pretty, young thang!) hanging on their arm!

 

[Dwag766]

I enjoyed reading your post.....Having learned to dive because of my husband many years ago, reliant on him entirely. Raising family caused some time off from diving but now, years later I have the dive bug and my husband does not! So I, by myself, re-certed and went on for my nitrox and hop a local dive boat BY MYSELF......Read eveything I could get my hands on, updated all my gear with what I NEEDED to include my Galileo....And what a wonderful feeling of satisfaction and independece came along with this experience.

There was some anxiety initiall because I had always felt previously that he was in control.....I now feel that this can cause an unhealthy co-dependence for me (not speaking for anyone else). I have now taken my husband diving and have seen his apprehension as he agreed to go shallow diving in Keys but will not go to the usual 86+ feet which is norm daily dive in PBC area.......

Diving is so awesome for women and women need to do whatever it is they desire without there being any reliance on a man.....or anyone else for that matter. Just being SAFE is priority one!
Thanks to all the great conversation on this board....It is entertaining.

 

[scubasheree]

as for the bickering you two got going on....Being from the good ol' south, we call that "lern'n ta-a'gree ta dis-a'gree" ......don't even try to correct the spelling cause ya can't! he-he! it just works! you just go... and life is better. We all have valid points and thank God we all have the means to express them....it could be worse...we could be...... men! ROFL!!! Light'n up girls ya gotta admit we do look better than them in a wet suit.....Or as my hubby would like it NAKED DIVING! hehehehe

 

[tracy_from_oz]

I guess I might be an exception to this.

I got into diving as my aunt dived the world and wrote articles for diving magazines.

Im the one setting up the gear, leading the dive and getting everyone involved. It isnt a big deal to me in all honesty. We all take turns leading to improve our skills or let someone take shots.

Are there women like this? Yes I believe there is.
Is it cultural? Yes I think it is.
Is it becoming less and less as time goes by? Yes.

But there is not wrong/weak about asking for help. That keeps us safe.

 

[tctmd]

Heated post, guys! I was on a search for reviews on a particular dive computer but got pulled into this thread instead. I've read stories from women on both sides of the fence and wanted to add myself to the throngs of the non-co-dependent lady divers.

After having some good experiences "discovering SCUBA," I got my OW/AOW certifications on a 2 week trip (alone- gasp!) to Honduras several years ago. Diving became such a big part of my travel life that I wanted to share it with my new (now not-so-new) SO, hoping he would like it as much as I did. After a couple dive trips without him (one on a conference, one with a work friend) and one trip with him where he "discovered SCUBA" and liked it, last year I got rescue diver certified while he got his OW certification. If any co-dependent woman here wants to improve her skills, competency, feeling of security and overall diving satisfaction, I highly recommend the rescue diver course!

At 5'3", I'm a bit more petite than your average diver, but I can assemble my own gear, carry my own tank, calm down a panicky diver, or bring to shore and resuscitate an unresponsive diver.

As the more experienced diver, I'm the one responsible for dive planning when I buddy with my SO, and I happily help him (or other less experienced divers) work out equipment issues or improve their buoyancy while we're underwater on a dive. I keep a close eye on my SO's air and when he reaches 500 psi (while I typically still have 1500-2000 psi left) I'll send him up to the surface (after watching his safety stop) and then pair up with the DM until the end of my dive.

I love the idea of a girl's diving club. We're typically smaller, have lower tidal volumes, tend to sip our air much more slowly and serenely enjoy our dive much longer. Sorry guys, it's simple anatomy/physiology. That said, I've met an occasional zen dude who can outlast us all!

Here are my best wishes to the independent ladies out there (may you share your knowledge and strength and help others when in need), the co-dependent ladies out there (may you improve your knowledge or skills at your own pace, know when to ask for assistance and always keep safe), and the smart ladies out there who enjoy allowing their men to treat them like a lady in the spirit of romance, all the time knowing they can do it all on their own!

He can carry my tank but I prefer putting my own gear together.

 

[Unibrook]

Hmmm, my wife rebuilt our roofdeck almost single-handed. I helped her a bit in the end, cuz I like using our circular saw. she is about 5.5 and 120 lbs when wet. She is happy to follow me and a dive master under water, but she and I both setup our gear and check each others b4 the giant stride in. There are definitely areas of life where I defer to her judgment and experience, and there are areas where she lets me take the lead. I guess it just depends on the topic, focus, and experience at the time.

 

[DiverBizz]

I guess I fall under the "I am an independent" label. I was given the OW scuba class as a gift-my family was sick of hearing me say when I get the money I am taking the class. No one in my family dives. I have taken a liking to solo diving and use the proper equipment to do so. If I could I would have all types of equipment. I would like to have a regular buddy but I can dive without one. I love taking scuba classes and learning more about my favorite sport (could care less whether or not I collect the card). I took an equipment specialty class so I could comfortably check and take apart my gear for a good cleaning.