Why are so many female divers codependent?

[princessaprilia]

Sorry to hear about your mandatory Surface Interval, Lynn.

Hope you're better soon.

 

[TSandM]

Thanks, princessarillia.

I think it works fine to divide on land responsibilities to some extent by strength -- I'm not terribly averse to letting my buddies handle my tanks, if they have to go a long ways. But I think it's EXTREMELY important that both divers be equipotent in the water. If a woman lets the man do all the navigation, because she doesn't like to do it, what happens when they get separated?

I fight this all the time, because I don't like to lead dives. I much prefer to follow, keeping the leader in my peripheral vision, but having no responsibility other than finding critters. So I make myself lead quite a bit, so I stay good at it, and in particular with the navigation part of it.

 

[princessaprilia]

My goal this summer is to become FABULOUS at navigation. I'm going to hang out at the bottom of our swamp that we call a lake and do nav drills.

If only there were some way for me to use my great shopping skills and convert them to navigation. I only seem to navigate well in a mall.

 

[RonFrank]

I know of quite a few VERY independent woman who dive. My OW instructor was one!

I have no issues with helping other divers, men or woman. I have no problems with female divers who want to be all girl, and allow their men to carry stuff, assemble gear whatever.

However female divers BETTER understand how it all goes together, and even more important, how to dive safely and independently as needed. It IS a buddy sport, but that is not a one way street.

Good divers male or female must be competent, and independent thinkers. It maybe their MAN they end up rescuing!

 

[Scuba Nurse]

Thanks, princessarillia.

I think it works fine to divide on land responsibilities to some extent by strength -- I'm not terribly averse to letting my buddies handle my tanks, if they have to go a long ways. But I think it's EXTREMELY important that both divers be equipotent in the water. If a woman lets the man do all the navigation, because she doesn't like to do it, what happens when they get separated?

I fight this all the time, because I don't like to lead dives. I much prefer to follow, keeping the leader in my peripheral vision, but having no responsibility other than finding critters. So I make myself lead quite a bit, so I stay good at it, and in particular with the navigation part of it.

Absolutely! I think the sign of a good diver is someone who pushes themselves to improve their skills! I agree I would rather watch the fish. One thing I have found is that the more I practice underwater competence, (navigation, shooting SMB or whatever skill) it becomes more natural to me. Thus, in return my situational awareness increases as well as my confidence. It makes me feel more relaxed and I ultimately see more. So stepping forward and taking the lead to me may seem unnatural at first but it seems to be getting easier and making me a better diver.

 

[TSandM]

One thing I have found is that the more I practice underwater competence, (navigation, shooting SMB or whatever skill) it becomes more natural to me. Thus, in return my situational awareness increases as well as my confidence. It makes me feel more relaxed and I ultimately see more. So stepping forward and taking the lead to me may seem unnatural at first but it seems to be getting easier and making me a better diver.

Absolutely!

 

[sunnyboy]

Yeah, I'm basically fine except for a first-class shiner and being forbidden to dive. I did end up with a vitreous detachment and a big floater, but it's not too bothersome. And luckily no surgery.

But you can bet that the next time I dive Cove 2, I'll be escorted up the hill on the arm of my dive buddy!

Lynn,

Can they do anything about the floater?

-S

 

[Soakedlontra]

Well, I learned a very painful lesson about stubborn independence a week ago.

I do not like being small, or old, or relatively weak, and I constantly push my own limits to avoid asking for assistance. This is particularly severe when I dive with men -- above all, I don't want anybody thinking they don't want to dive with the little old lady who's annoying because you have to help her up the hill.

So I've tried, as time has gone on, to do without help more and more, and last Monday, it bit me in the butt -- or actually in the face, as it turned out. By refusing to wait for my dive buddies to help me up a difficult slope, I set myself up for a fall that resulted in an orbital floor fracture, and has beached me for weeks. (Could have been worse -- many of these need surgery.)

Lesson learned -- do what you can, but don't be ashamed to ask for assistance when you need it. Women do tend to be smaller and less powerful than men, and older women often have more fragile bones and are more likely to break if they fall. Ask for help. It beats six weeks out of the water.

Jeez! I hope you are healing fast and well. Do you have an idea when you will be able to dive again?

Take care

Last Monday I did a three dives boat trip to Cypress Island. I dived from a boat a couple of times before but there were only four people (whom I already knew) on board and an acquaintance owned the boat so the atmosphere was pretty casual and relaxed and I was diving with my regular buddy.

On Monday I was on an official diving charter boat with 7 other divers whom I did not know and other 2 I met only once. I did not have much of a clue of what I was supposed to do (...well I did have a vague idea) and while the other divers were 'fighting' over the tank 'holders' (are they called like that?) and coat hangers for their dry suits, I had to keep asking one member of the crew for help because nobody else seemed to care. Even after the briefing(?) when my tank was still standing upright on the boat floor, the engine was running and the boat began to move (I had to stop messing with the gear to listen to the captain and group leader) nobody offered to help me to lift the tank and place it on the tank holder. Eventually I managed to do the job myself.

Maybe I should have been more assertive and less intimidated by the other divers who knew exactly what to do and were already familiar with each other etc. Next time I certainly will. But, on the other hand, it was a bit 'sad' to see what kind of group dynamic went on at the beginning of the trip (it got better after the first dive).

 

[TSandM]

I think, most of the time, people assume you can do everything for yourself. If you need help, you need to speak up. I usually tell my dive buddies, especially if they are new to me, that I want them to stay with me at the end of the dive and be available if I need help with my balance getting out of the water. No one has ever objected, although sometimes they forget . . . Funny, the only time recently that I have NOT done that was diving for the first time with a woman I had wanted to dive with for ages -- She's a cave and tech diver, and somehow I just couldn't find it in myself to ask her for any help. Go figure. Pride doth indeed go before a fall!

 

[Neda]

My goal this summer is to become FABULOUS at navigation.

Hmmmm navigation, yeah about that...hey look a fishy!

Yep... nav is something I totally need to work on underwater. Somehow I think my internal compass is screwed up with my move to the other side of the planet...I used to do ok with it in the quarries, even though vis was pretty bad, you had a lot of distinctive 'wrecks' you could use to navigate from. Now that I'm under down under everything seems to look the same. Seem to have the same issue above the water line as below


I always need help out of the water, really hate that... I think my muscles decide to go on strike the moment I have a hand on the ladder. 'oh no way woman you just gave us a 50 min break from reality aint no way we're going back to lugging double your weight around the planet!'