Why are so many female divers codependent?

[Soakedlontra]

Hmmmm navigation, yeah about that...hey look a fishy!

Yep... nav is something I totally need to work on underwater. Somehow I think my internal compass is screwed up with my move to the other side of the planet...I used to do ok with it in the quarries, even though vis was pretty bad, you had a lot of distinctive 'wrecks' you could use to navigate from. Now that I'm under down under everything seems to look the same. Seem to have the same issue above the water line as below


I always need help out of the water, really hate that... I think my muscles decide to go on strike the moment I have a hand on the ladder. 'oh no way woman you just gave us a 50 min break from reality aint no way we're going back to lugging double your weight around the planet!'

It may be helpful to try to use a compass on land before you deal with it underwater. My first navigation dive of my AOW class was a disaster! My buddy and I had to do it again. The problem was that I was not holding the compass leveled, aligning the lubber line with my body and looked only at the azimuth on the side.

You are not the only one who needs help out of the water from a boat! Don't feel bad about it!

 

[El Orans]

If a woman lets the man do all the navigation, because she doesn't like to do it, what happens when they get separated?

We're going to find out next week.

We were told by our NAUI Intro to Tech instructor that El Zee should be leading more dives. The moment the two of us had to ascend together last weekend, the old pattern emerged... I lead, she follows.

 

[sarita75]

I think this is kind of an interesting thread, and might possibly bring out a fair amount of awareness on both sides of the proverbial equation.

I am a female diver. I have been a swimmer since I could walk, and wanted to learn diving back in NC during college but it didn't fit in my schedule given the need to work and I didn't fancy doing quarry dives (don't shoot!). So I learned when I came to California. I wasn't pushed into it by my boyfriend (now husband), but I was encouraged. My class was 3 instructors - all male - and 2 other students - both males, and me. I remember hearing one of the instructors, during the swim test, say that I wasn't going to make it. In fact, I did make it, I just didn't feel like going into the 'pissing match' that the guys were engaged in. Throughout my training, I constant beat the boys in terms of SAC rate, ability, etc.

Fast forward 7 years and I have more dives than my husband and routinely diving 46-52 degree waters in a 7mm wetsuit. I carry my own crap, set up my stuff, pack my own gear (and oftentimes his stuff). The only thing he helps me do is get my weights in after I've hoisted my tank and BCD onto my own back.

When we dive, I primarily lead. I keep an eye on him, his air consumption and worry about him. Not that he is an unfit diver, but because that is how I am.

I know many able female divers that do everything for themselves. I also know female divers who let others do nearly everything for them. Yes, it bothers me sometimes, but part of why I am the kind of female diver that I am is a result of how I was raised. And I am sure that the converse is true.

Anyhow ... my $0.02.

 

[angielink]

It doesn't matter to me who sets up my gear as long as it's done and done correctly and quickly to get me into the water I'm also not against anyone coming to clean my house, mow my lawn, take care of my animals and make all meals for my family. This would also make it easier for me to get away to go dive.

 

[Soakedlontra]

It doesn't matter to me who sets up my gear as long as it's done and done correctly and quickly to get me into the water I'm also not against anyone coming to clean my house, mow my lawn, take care of my animals and make all meals for my family. This would also make it easier for me to get away to go dive.

Are you kidding?

Everybody is welcome to clean my house and cook meals for me! but when it comes to scuba gear I feel it is my responsibility, as a safe diver, to do all the work by myself and I don't care how long it takes. I ask for help if I need to.

Cheers

 

[Christina_RN]

Hey ladies...so I'm new to the boards and will be starting scuba school soon. My Dad has gotten my brother into it and is now assisting FI and I so that we can join in the fun. I expect (granted haven't done any of this yet) that I will be caring for my own gear--assembly, disassembly, etc. One of my guys might need to assist from time-to-time with tanks or something d/t my RA, but then again maybe not as I'm quite stubborn and determined.

It was interesting to skim through this thread--as I always thought of scuba as sport that would foster more independence than dependence...interesting...

 

[Christina_RN]

here's a good poll question...how many of us consider ourselves to be "control freaks?"

 

[Roz]

I've been a Pro for 11 years now, and for four years I was in the water pretty much every day. Two years in the UK and two years in Egypt. One of the main things I would always ensure prior to certification was that the person was capable of being an independent diver. Note I didn't write "solo diver" but independent. This meant that they could set up their own kit, knew how to buddy check, get into the water, plan and run a dive, navigate, get out and sort out their own kit. It didn't make a scrap of difference to me if they were male or female, I was training divers.

We would inevitably get a guy bringing his girl along to learn to dive. One I remember really shouldn't have ever been in the water. I had a long heart to heart with her and said if she was learning to dive for her guy, he really wasn't worth it and she shouldn't be learning to dive for him. But if she really wanted to learn to dive for herself then I would move heaven and earth to help her. She had another go, burst into tears (again) and said "no, it wasn't for her". That was one brave lady.

When it came to nav exercises on Advanced Open Water, I would always split up the couples and sometimes make it a "girl versus boys" thing in the class to get the buddy teams working together. We'd always run it on dry land first with everyone doing squares, triangles and recripocals with a towel over their heads until I knew that they had it sussed. It worked. You could see it in students eyes underwater when it clicked. I do sometimes wonder if women might have a tougher time with nav as they tend to have less spacial awareness. I know that this is a general comment.

As for girls playing the girl card, I've had it a couple of times and took no nonsence from them. One of the male instructors came to me saying he had a girl trying it on, so I took over her training. She complained she couldn't lift a tank up, so I showed her it was a matter of technique and not brute force. She watched, sussed it and got on with it and I never had a peep out of her again. Yes there are times we need help. Everyone needs help, but playing the girl card is the quickest way to lose the respect of those around you and your own. Asking for help and playing the girlie card are two completely different things and the sooner everyone realises it the happier we will all be.

I always showed all my students easy tricks and tips to save weight and how to pick things up. Everyone has a bad back in awhile. The only advantage I see men have is that;

a) they have a willy, and so can piss off the back of a boat without losing their dignity and warmth
b) they can also wear a pee valve, however the is a new one coming out soon for women which I can't wait to get my hands on
c) they are a bit taller so it's a bit easier carrying twinsets and stages
d) they have a large chest area so they can have a very clean look whereas I seem to resemble a Christmas Tree when I have two stages and a light clipped to my front

Women make great divers and so do men. They should however be able to set up their own kit as standard and how dare the instructor who certified them let them get away with being girly. They have not mastered the skill or reached the required standard to get certified. A completely irresponsible action that should not be condoned.

My other half is not into UK diving. I am so I regularly go diving with my best mate and we often find we're the only two girls on the boat. It's not a problem. Everyone has a laugh and gets on with it.

As for warm water diving with my better half, I tend to lead as he's so lazy and can't be asked to do it. I do know that if it all goes pearshaped though, he will absolutely do the right thing. But we both set up our own kit. Having someone else set up your kit is wrong, wrong, wrong. It's not difficult, just a matter of muscle memory.

As for equipment, I am one of the biggest kit monsters out. I love my shiney toys. Doesn't everyone? The equipment is one of the draws into this glorious sport. I might not be able to quote the exact number of lumins of my GreenForce, or specify the weight of my DUI TLS, but it doesn't stop me from raving about my kit to other divers and comparing notes during the surface interval.

 

[slowjen2000]

I absolutely agree. I am totally indepedent of my boyfriend. I want to assemble my gear and check all my hoses my self. My boyfriend has recently gotten into photography and now I am assembling his gear to save time on the boat. After the dives, on a boat I disassemble my and his gear to save time once again while he tends to his camera needs. If I was co-depedent then he would not be able to assemble camera and get geared up in a timely manner. In the water, we are buddies but I dont feel he needs to watch my every move. We have practiced to be less co-dependent. I am now comfortable diving with anyone. At first, I would only dive with him because he was my safety net. My suggestion is to become as independent as you can. Another example is my boyfriend could not dive in the Caymans for a acute medical condition. I paired up with another diver and had a wonderful time. If I had been co-dependent I would not have dove. You must have a passion to dive and if you do you will want to learn and be independent. Its a self accomplisment each time I learn to do things on my own. Safe diving is my sole reponsibility not my boyfriend or anyone else.

Jen

 

[TSandM]

d) they have a large chest area so they can have a very clean look whereas I seem to resemble a Christmas Tree when I have two stages and a light clipped to my front

Oh, this is so true! In addition, I hate them . . . they are generally tall enough to get that lovely, long, elegant look when in proper trim. Me -- I look like a bumblebee. I'm a big orange wing with a head sticking out one end and two vertical calves with fins on the ends of them sticking out the other.