Why are so many female divers codependent?
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I have really gotten a kick out of this way over-heated thread. On just a slightly different note and in the interests of uniting us, if you are interested in finding out about "us" read the book, by Natalie Angier, Woman, An Intimate Geography I read it twice and probably gave 20 away as gifts. It is really enlightening and a great read besides. I think it should be required reading in college for every female (and maybe male, too) !
DOkie
Guest
I see how this works now. I get bashed for giving the hubby a little umph in the ego department now and then when I should actually be giving him "credits" for doing things for me. Things to remember... Schedule in a "credit" after a dive....
Sas
Contributor
Actually, a partnership should be about helping each other and recognising the help that each person gives the other, that is what 'credit' is. Earlier you said that women are taking away men's 'manhood' (whatever that is!) and tried to speak for all women. You also talked about how you pretended to have trouble so your husband would help you out. That is why you got "bashed" (I would say you did a bit of bashing yourself, starting with all women)... Go back and read it and hopefully you will learn the difference between a partnership of equals and a partnership where one or both of the parties pretends to think/act a certain way in order to coddle the other. It was pointed out to you by a number of people here already...
DOkie
Guest
Boy I'm sorry to get your panties in a bunch again, it was a joke... Yeah, sure... "My husband is aware of the value of "gear-carrying credits" means I'm going to pat him on the head and say "good boy" when all is said and done.
Really, my intention was never to speak for ALL women. I think I apologized for that enough the first go around. The question was why are there so many co-dependent divers and I voiced my opinion. I thought that was what we were supposed to be able to do here without being called all kinds of things. But since my little secret of keeping the flame alive after 23 years together didn't agree with the "norm" of modern day equality all of a sudden I'm someone that can't have the respect of more "independent divers" on this board. It's pretty sad...
Did it ever occur to think that maybe a "honey, could you help me with this tank" isn't being co-dependent? Naw, you just assumed I'm a crappy/dangerous diver who bats her eyes and asks the big stong man to help me out every chance I get. In all reality, my dive skills and abilities are quite well intact.
Again, as it seems to be custom now, I apologize for posting on your board even if it was a joke.
Really, my intention was never to speak for ALL women. I think I apologized for that enough the first go around. The question was why are there so many co-dependent divers and I voiced my opinion. I thought that was what we were supposed to be able to do here without being called all kinds of things. But since my little secret of keeping the flame alive after 23 years together didn't agree with the "norm" of modern day equality all of a sudden I'm someone that can't have the respect of more "independent divers" on this board. It's pretty sad...
Did it ever occur to think that maybe a "honey, could you help me with this tank" isn't being co-dependent? Naw, you just assumed I'm a crappy/dangerous diver who bats her eyes and asks the big stong man to help me out every chance I get. In all reality, my dive skills and abilities are quite well intact.
Again, as it seems to be custom now, I apologize for posting on your board even if it was a joke.
Sas
Contributor
Ana
.
Let's remember than just a few post above, ChristyV pointed out how we (most of us anyway) are using the term co-dependent inaccurately.
If I read the definitions correctly:
The co-dependents here are the guys that either decide we need help, or swallow the "I need help" (whether is true or just a lie).
The women blindly accepting, requiring or pretending to require the help are simply "dependents".
If I read the definitions correctly:
The co-dependents here are the guys that either decide we need help, or swallow the "I need help" (whether is true or just a lie).
The women blindly accepting, requiring or pretending to require the help are simply "dependents".
DOkie
Guest
You know, I said what I said above as a joke. It was a lighthearted attempt to maybe be able to join in with conversations in the future here (as I AM female) but I can see that just isn't going to happen. I wish you both the best and hope that your diving is safe. As for stroking an ego once in a while making me dependent diver, it's a very inaccurate observation of my diving skills. As I've said before, I'm actually quite a good diver.
You see, my husband broke his back in two places and felt quite useless for many years. I ran our farm/raised our kids/etc. all on my own. Him helping me with my gear once in a while has put that light back in his eyes and I'll gladly be called anything you want to see that everyday.
Again, I wish you the best.
You see, my husband broke his back in two places and felt quite useless for many years. I ran our farm/raised our kids/etc. all on my own. Him helping me with my gear once in a while has put that light back in his eyes and I'll gladly be called anything you want to see that everyday.
Again, I wish you the best.
Ana
.
You are more than able to join in with conversations, not only on this particular sub-forum but the whole ScubaBoard. You don't even need to ease your way in, for sure there is no need to justify any of your posts.
I guess I'm one of the "both" you are referring to. Who am I for you? I shouldn't be any more than a 3 letter screen name, what difference does it make what I say or think?
Chances are we'll never meet, even if by some weird coincidence happen to be in the same zip code at a given time. If I post something you dislike or disagree with, you can either argue or ignore it, but don't let it drive you off the board. Think of me as no-one.
There is no both between Saspotato and I.
I happen to agree with some of her posts. When my work takes me to Australia I will probably contact her for suggestions on a good dive operator, and she's welcome to do the same if she has the misfortune to end up in the crappy side of Florida.
That's as far as the "both" goes, so don't look for any conspiracies from "us".
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Sas
Contributor
Firstly, I have NOT commented on your abilities as a diver. Stop assuming I have. I asked you to show were I had done so, but you haven't yet...
Second, this is a text medium. Jokes do not come off well so your post sounded very snarky. Fair enough if it was a joke but it was poorly phrased and easily open to someone thinking you were being snarky (especially as you brought up how you were "bashed" for what you said earlier)
Third, no one is going to stop you from joining in (I guess, unless you violate the ToS
). You shouldn't care so much about what random people on the net think of you. Internet forums require a thick skin, especially if you are going to comment on something as divisive as gender relations. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and is able to post it, just don't expect everyone will agree with you and be prepared for people to argue your points. If you get as annoyed as you come across (though again, it is hard to tell via an internet post), it is probably best to stick to posting on non-contraversial topics P.S. Ana, I do know a few good operators if you come to Aus
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