Why are so many female divers codependent?

[Ana]

DOkie

Your point of view and mine are so far apart, we could just as well be from different planets.

I shouldn't be calling you insane, because I'm not qualified to judge mental ability. For that I apologize.

Right now I don't know if I should respond to the post you directed to me, or to the one where you agree with TSandM.

On one post I get the feeling that it is good to pretend to be weak even if you are not, it is ok to "play with your husband's manhood" I sure hope you meant that in a sexual way, otherwise I can only say once again "shame on you"

On the other post, the message is more on the lines that women don't know how to appreciate a gesture from a gentleman.
Again, I have no problem well, i have no problems with doors, chairs and so on, but those are empty gestures when come along with archaic ideas about the ability of a woman to perform a task.

I am strong enough to carry my stuff it would be ridiculous to pretend I can't. I don't need to pretend to need my husband, and for the record besides, peing thru a penis, yes I CAN DO ANYTHING an average man can do. But I've grown to love my husband and I do need his company now, didn't need him before but I do now.
I need him not for protection, not to solve a calculus problem, or to pay the bills, I need his company and his sense of humor. What I need of him is unique of him and no other man has it.

Your ideas about maternity leave... wow, did I say different planets? I think it is more like different galaxies

 

[DOkie]

IT - I'm only a lowly construction worker (commercial work) but that's information technologies right? What cell do you work at on the shop floor? Do you have to wear your fall protection, steel toes, respirators, what OSHA rules do you fall under, etc. etc. etc. I've already apologized for offending you. But it seems that a continual attacking is what you are hell bent on. Wow.... If you think that I'm generalizing, then I guess I apologize for that also. I'm just wrong on every avenue. Does that make you feel better? I want to be equal too! Here is my list of demands.

1. I want male reporters in all female lockers rooms
2. I want men to be members of the Red Hat Society
3. I want urinals installed in the womens bathroom. (I might just want to give it a try) Or do we even need seperate restrooms? Just a thought.
4. I want men to be admitted to the ovaian cancer center.
5. I want to change the tradition of the engagement ring. Men it's time to pick out your diamonds.
6. I want to go back to the old standards of miliatry training where there are not different programs. Let's get ready to shave our heads ladies... (oops that was a slip!)
7. I want to ditch all these romantic holdiays. No more flower deliveries unless they're going to men.
8. I want men to give birth. No if, ands or buts about it.
9. I want to compete against men in the olympics. No more sex seperated events.
10. I no longer want the Ms. America contest to apply only to the the female gender!

Wow! That was empowering!

 

[Sas]

I need him not for protection, not to solve a calculus problem, or to pay the bills, I need his company and his sense of humor. What I need of him is unique of him and no other man has it.

Thanks Ana, you put into words exactly what I wanted to get across the type of partnership I have and think most highly of (but bad at phrasing it myself). I don't need him for anything in my life other than the company he provides, jokes, being able to talk about our days together, going to the movies, playing PC games against each other, etc etc. He does most of the house work but I can do it myself if needed (though would probably pay someone to do any sewing as I struggle with that on my own!), he can reach the top cupboard without a chair, but if he is not around I can go get a chair and reach myself, he may have chased away a drunk guy who attacked me in the street but I could have done the same on my own, and so on.

I don't NEED him for anything really but he is nice to have around to help me out and to share our lives together.

 

[Sas]

IT - I'm only a lowly construction worker (commercial work) but that's information technologies right? What cell do you work at on the shop floor? Do you have to wear your fall protection, steel toes, respirators, what OSHA rules do you fall under, etc. etc. etc. I've already apologized for offending you. But it seems that a continual attacking is what you are hell bent on. Wow.... If you think that I'm generalizing, then I guess I apologize for that also. I'm just wrong on every avenue. Does that make you feel better? I want to be equal too! Here is my list of demands.

Oh please, don't play the class card on me. My whole family are tradies so I know the go and have spent time on shop floors myself. I am not attacking you at all, and I am sorry it came across that way, just trying to put foward a different viewpoint from another women. We are not homogenous you know?

Re your list:
1. I want male reporters in all female lockers rooms - up to the people in the change room, whether they are male or female. I would not want any reporter - male or female - in a locker room I was in. Other males or females, would not mind so much.
2. I want men to be members of the Red Hat Society - don't know what this means
3. I want urinals installed in the womens bathroom. (I might just want to give it a try) Or do we even need seperate restrooms? Just a thought. - I don't think we need seperate restrooms - in many places I go there are unisex bathrooms anyway.
4. I want men to be admitted to the ovaian cancer center. - sure, if they have ovarian cancer.
5. I want to change the tradition of the engagement ring. Men it's time to pick out your diamonds. - YES, I agree 100%, both men and women should be able to have engagement rings if they want.
6. I want to go back to the old standards of miliatry training where there are not different programs. Let's get ready to shave our heads ladies... (oops that was a slip!) - sure, good idea. I shaved my head myself and it makes scuba diving a lot easier I can tell you - whatever is most practical should apply. I think you should add that men should be able to have women's style hair in the military also. My sister is in the navy and said a lot of the guys would like longer hair.
7. I want to ditch all these romantic holdiays. No more flower deliveries unless they're going to men. - YES agree 100% but I would say 'going to men or women'. Neither gender should have dibs on romantic holdiays.
8. I want men to give birth. No if, ands or buts about it. - sure, as soon as it becomes medically possible then men should be able to give birth if they want.
9. I want to compete against men in the olympics. No more sex seperated events. - I don't care one way or another as I dislike sport so whatever really.
10. I no longer want the Ms. America contest to apply only to the the female gender! - Yep agree.

 

[DOkie]

I love the reactions of insulting me. I have not once attempted to belittle or offend anyone. Yet you've called me insane, mentally unstable, and that I should be ashamed of the way that I act. How nice of you. You are very proud of the fact that you can do anything a man can do. Know what? So can I. The only difference is I don't throw it in everyone's face. I don't automatically think that if a guy holds a door for me that's it's an archaic idea.

I don't "play" with my husbands manhood. I give him the opportunity to use it once in a while. The same as he gives me the opportunity to use my femininity occassionally. Does he always need me to put a band aid on? No, but it makes me feel like the care giver.

 

[sea nmf]

Ladies! You will have to agree to disagree. And you will find it distasteful in some respects.

I completely agree with Lynn, but then we are of similar ages. Respecting common courtesy is one thing. Pretending to need someone because it strokes their ego is another. I think this is where the division is.

Dokie said that "we" are taking their manhood away. I think this was just some unfortunate wording. Taking that statement as is, I couldn't disagree more. A woman can no more take away a man's "manhood" than a man can take away a woman's womanhood. We give it away, if it is going.

That being said, I can and do pick up my tank and haul everything myself. I have to; I have no choice. And, I dive almost exclusively with strong independant women who also do it for themselves. But I had a friend visit, who is a big strong man, and he asked if I wanted him to lift my tanks. I happily took the help! He knew I could do it, but that it would be easier for him.

 

[Far_X]

I fully encourage my g/f to learn all the equipment and know how to set up and for her to decide what mix to use for which wreck. I do occasionally set up the tank and reg. mainly because she is still borrowing my spare reg and I like the gear set up before packing the car. When it comes to being in the water, I will not mess or touch her equipment unless she has a problem that she cannot fix herself. Why anyone else would chose to do these things in the water, or allow them to be done to them, is a mystery to me. I would not want to be in the water with someone, or have a buddy, that does not want to be there.

 

[Ana]

First you say this

As for being accused of being a "Little Lady".... If that's what you're going to call me for every once in a while playing on my husbands manhood, for have an awesome marriage for 21 years (including a very faithful and very satisfied husband)... Well then hand me my lipgloss, I'm headed for the beauty pagent....

then you say this.

I don't "play" with my husbands manhood. I give him the opportunity to use it once in a while. The same as he gives me the opportunity to use my femininity occassionally. Does he always need me to put a band aid on? No, but it makes me feel like the care giver.

We don't need to continue this, You think I don't like men opening doors for me and I don't have a very positive picture of you. We'll get nowhere from here

 

[DOkie]

As I've said a few times before. I apoligize if I've offended anyone here... I think I've made this statement several times also, but I don't believe that women should ever be treated as inferior because we're not. I love diving with my husband. I love the connection we have and I love when he treats me like a lady. I love it when he helps me, not with the dive itself, but putting on my bc, or taking my weight belt after a dive... If that's wrong, then so be it.

To be completely honest. We had disagreements for many years. I can fix damn near anything. I'm a good electrician. I can build whatever. I can work all day with the best of them. He'd offer to do something and as a strong, young female, I felt I could do it myself. It took me a while to learn that he took pleasure in being useful. I finally got it, and if it take me sticking my foot up once in a while and asking him to push my fin on farther, well, like I've said before, the smile is worth it.

Night ladies... I'll stay off of here from now on.

 

[DOkie]

I'm sorry you don't have a very positive picture of me. It's come down to picking at words. Sorry for that. I'm actually a pretty nice person. Hope you have a good night and good diving... Take care.