Silly things heard on dive trips

[dlndavid]

What's your sign? Do you come here often?

 

[robint]

I emerged out of a fresh water lake and walked out on the public boat ramp with my buddy.

Bystander: How's the water?

Me: Great. Its really warm today...

Bystander: You couldn't pay me enough to go diving in there. I have seen what a Great White can do...

ditto, someone asked me recently if there were any sharks in our local dive spot - its a fresh water spring in the middle of the desert!!!

 

[Guba]

While entering a local lake, with wetsuit, hood, gloves, light, and all the "usual" dive gear, carrying a video camera in an underwater housing in one hand and fins in the other...
Bystander, "Going diving?"

Me, "Nope, washing machine's busted and the car wash is too expensive!"

Here's yer sign!


On a liveaboard 110 miles out in the Gulf of Mexico. "Compass? Why's that so important? They have a Zodiac to come pick us up."

 

[Joe-Diver]

"How do you keep from getting dizzy breathing oxygen?"

 

[Blackwood]

My enduring fav:

Skippy the new DM to an even newer Dry Suit diver: "You're cold?"

New DS diver: "yes"

Skippy: "You need to add some lead..."

New DS Diver: "huh?"

Skippy: "Oh yeah. Lead = Warmth..."

New DS Diver: "HUH?"

Skippy: "Yeah - by adding lead you need to add air to off-set the lead. The more air the warmer you are. The more lead, the more air. SO, lead = warmth..."
Ken

Nice. I'd love to hear that. My response would be something along the lines of:


me No, I think I need to remove my undergarments.
him Why?
me Because then I'll shiver, and shivering warms me up.

 

[Scottri]

I had just finished my dive and was getting out of my gear on a boat in Hawaii when the second set of divers got onboard and asked the DM "how deep did we go?". As a DM myself I just cringed. I can't believe the guy never looked at his gauges.

Another guy on the same boat asked "what does the the arrow with a line above it mean on my computer?"

 

[mobeeno]

Let's see: Dive Park, pony tank, gentelman and split fins. Hmm Dr.Bill?

Only kidding Bill!

 

[RocketMan]

Once at a quarry, I over heard a AOW student ask her instructor "On that last dive, you keep looking at me and putting both your index finders together. What does that mean?"

 

[1_T_Submariner]

I like the visabilty report from the DM that just tied up to the wreck.

"Visibility as far as you can see"

Ok, the funny part was it took me 2 days (4 dives) to figure out that is what they always say.

 

[Alex777]

After Hurricane Ivan, I picked up a new AL80 at half price because "it got wet during the hurricane."