Silly things heard on dive trips

[CDNScubaMoose]

While team teaching an OW course this summer I was at the LDS as the students were picking up their rental gear for check out dives:

Student: Is there anything else that I need?
Store Owner: You'll need some more lead (confined water taught in pool, OW in great lakes means more noeproene
Student: Oh yeah, that's right - as we go deeper we need more lead
Store Owner and me at the same time: WHAT??

After a short discussion with this prospective student it was decided that he wasn't ready for the check out dives just yet.

 

[Hickdive]

My late grandmother on hearing I'd been Scuba Diving on holiday;
"Did you catch any?"
"Catch any what?"
"Scubas"

On hearing I was a diver a friendly non-diver offered me the following advice over the dinner table;
"I bet your mask mists up, here's my tip, it sounds disgusting but try spitting in your mask, rubbing it around and rinsing with water"

Whilst launching a RIB to go to the St Oran a passerby told us;
'You lads be careful out there, it's awful deep'

Whilst sitting in a 5metre RIB with a 90Yam on the back, tied into a wreck, flying an A flag and in full view of the Port Authority control tower (having checked with them first), two lads rowed out to us in what looked like something nicked from the boating pond in the park and said;

'Don't worry boys, we're here to rescue you!'

 

[RJP]

Student: Is there anything else that I need?
Store Owner: You'll need some more lead (confined water taught in pool, OW in great lakes means more noeproene
Student: Oh yeah, that's right - as we go deeper we need more lead
Store Owner and me at the same time: WHAT??

A saavy store owner would have taken the opportunity to up-sell the customer some "depth compensating" weights!

 

[limeyx]

Woman: "I was a bit overweighted on that dive"
Husband: "How do you know?"
Woman: "I hit the bottom harder than normal"

That was on a day boat on Molasses Reef, Key Largo.

No wonder the reef there is utterly destroyed and in incredibly poor shape!

Not sure whether to laugh or cry.
Maybe a bit of both.

 

[TSandM]

I enjoyed the nice man who walked up to me at the local dive park and began chatting. He asked me a little about my diving history, and then looked at me with great concern and said, "You've got 250 dives, and you don't have a pony yet?"

The same nice gentleman also informed me that my diving would be oh so much better if I got rid of those old Jet fins and got a nice pair of splits, like he had.

I just smiled.

 

[bythesea]

Talking to a guy last night in a bar who told me I should get a rebreather.
"Those are great. You just put in tablets and the more tablets the longer you can stay down and you don't need any tanks or oxygen" "He also stated that rebreathers were invented "a few years ago"

 

[Teamcasa]

I enjoyed the nice man who walked up to me at the local dive park and began chatting. He asked me a little about my diving history, and then looked at me with great concern and said, "You've got 250 dives, and you don't have a pony yet?"

The same nice gentleman also informed me that my diving would be oh so much better if I got rid of those old Jet fins and got a nice pair of splits, like he had.

I just smiled.

Let's see: Dive Park, pony tank, gentelman and split fins. Hmm Dr.Bill?

Only kidding Bill!

 

[SteveAD]

How about the classic:

I used to dive, but my ears got bad, I'd get down about 50 feet and couldn't equalize.

 

[shadragon]

I emerged out of a fresh water lake and walked out on the public boat ramp with my buddy.

Bystander: How's the water?

Me: Great. Its really warm today...

Bystander: You couldn't pay me enough to go diving in there. I have seen what a Great White can do...

 

[RJP]

Let's see: Dive Park, pony tank, gentleman and split fins. Hmm Dr.Bill?

Only kidding Bill!

Gentleman?