Silly things heard on dive trips

[Texasdivechick]

Have you ever heard another diver (or non diver) say something totally bizarre that made you shake your head in bewilderment? While on a dive trip I heard my then BF say, "Haven't you dove enough? Why don't you hang out with me and watch some TV." This is while we were in Bonaire!!!!
This morning I had another interesting conversation with a non-diver. It wasn't on a dive trip, but rather at the drive thru window at my neighborhood Starbucks (I'm there a couple times a week).

It went something like this:

Counter Girl: "Hey, I've been meaning to ask you, what does that sticker on your car mean?"

Me: "Which sticker?" (I have a plethora)

CG: "The sticker that says Ni-ter-oxy diver" (nitrox diver)

Me: "Oh, I'm a scuba diver and that is a blend of gas I sometimes use in my tank."

CG: "Oh. But doesn't it burn your throat when you breathe in gas? :11:


Does anyone else have anything to share?

 

[ItsBruce]

A felloww once asked if I could dive when it was raining out. Apparently he was concerned about my wetsuit and gear getting wet from the rain.

 

[ItsBruce]

After a lobster dive, my friend brought a sack of lobsters to his mother-in-law's house. Even though the lobsters were still moving in the bag, she asked if they were fresh.

 

[Texasdivechick]

After a lobster dive, my friend brought a sack of lobsters to his mother-in-law's house. Even though the lobsters were still moving in the bag, she asked if they were fresh.

 

[rhadamantus]

A felloww once asked if I could dive when it was raining out. Apparently he was concerned about my wetsuit and gear getting wet from the rain.

 

[Mo2vation]

My enduring fav:

Skippy the new DM to an even newer Dry Suit diver: "You're cold?"

New DS diver: "yes"

Skippy: "You need to add some lead..."

New DS Diver: "huh?"

Skippy: "Oh yeah. Lead = Warmth..."

New DS Diver: "HUH?"

Skippy: "Yeah - by adding lead you need to add air to off-set the lead. The more air the warmer you are. The more lead, the more air. SO, lead = warmth..."
.
.
.
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.
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Unreal.

---
Ken

 

[jefffalcone]

My enduring fav:

Skippy the new DM to an even newer Dry Suit diver: "You're cold?"

New DS diver: "yes"

Skippy: "You need to add some lead..."

New DS Diver: "huh?"

Skippy: "Oh yeah. Lead = Warmth..."

New DS Diver: "HUH?"

Skippy: "Yeah - by adding lead you need to add air to off-set the lead. The more air the warmer you are. The more lead, the more air. SO, lead = warmth..."
.
.
.
.
.
.


Unreal.

---
Ken

I hope this is a joke.

 

[tiretread]

My bud: "So where are you going for two weeks of leave"

Me: Palau

My bud: What are you going to do there?

Me: Dive, kayak, lay on a beach and do nothing.

My bud: Why would you want to go to Palau to scuba dive and do nothing for two weeks?

Sheesh.

While in Maui for my wedding I had some friends come out for the ceremony. The week prior to the wedding we basically went to the beach everyday. My best friends wife was perplexed on why we would want to go to the beach every day. In Maui.

 

[tiretread]

Have you ever heard another diver (or non diver) say something totally bizarre that made you shake your head in bewilderment? While on a dive trip I heard my then BF say, "Haven't you dove enough? Why don't you hang out with me and watch some TV." This is while we were in Bonaire!!!!

I'm assuming he didn't last too much longer after that statment

 

[RJP]

A few days into a liveaboard trip - after seeing me do my safety stops with horizontal trim I guess - a fellow passenger offered to lend me his ankle weights...

"These will help you get nice and vertical during your safety stop."

Gee - thanks!