Silly things heard on dive trips

[osuschreck]

Ok good point about them being pressurized. I just assumed that they would know I was bringing them in without the valves. But you are probably right, she assumed they would be pressurized. Ok doesn't sound so bad now.

 

[RAD Diver]

I was at a local quarry with my wife & we were trying to get weighting on our new drysuits for a trip to the Great Lakes, I mean drygloves, polartech fleese, hoods & me with doubles & a slung 40. In the middle of July.
I overheard a girl sitting there talking to a friend about why anyone would go through what we were doing. Her friend suggested that we were practicing for something.
She then said that she was AOW with a whole 11 dives, all at this quarry & saw no need to ever do what we were doing. I just laughed.

 

[Matt S.]

A felloww once asked if I could dive when it was raining out. Apparently he was concerned about my wetsuit and gear getting wet from the rain.

I live in Seattle where it rains a lot. After I got certified, coworkers might see me at the end of the day preparing for an after-work dive... I was asked several times how I went if it was raining.

Of course, as a drysuit/dryglove diver, I do prefer it dry topside too. But it's not a show stopper.

 

[scubapatton]

I have worked around of people in the dive industry and I over heard this one day from a fellow guide on a trip...

diver: So that was sand coming out the parrotfish'd bum?

DM: Yeah, and thats what makes up the beaches. We are actually sitting on a big pile of parrotfish poo when we go to the beach.

diver: (stands there with stupid look, mouth open in disbelief)
DM: (nods and goes with it!)


Can you believe it?!!:11:

I had a recent conversation with a 11 year old boy that was doing a Discover Scuba class. He thought poop made up sand too. He seemed almost down-trodden when I told him it wasn't. But then he picked up when I said rocks and such. I tried sooo hard to stifle the laugh. I think I succeeded, but then I saw this posting...

 

[Wildcard]

White sand is made from coral being chewed up, black/green/grey sand is from rocks being ground up. Thanks for screwing up the kid.

 

[Matt S.]

More non-boat stories:

I'm on a mailing list for another club activity. For some reason in one of my messages I mentioned diving. Another member posted back something like, "I hope you guys are careful, those Navy dive tables are really dangerous."

It was really strange that he had heard of "Navy dive tables" yet was 100% ignorant of the rest. But the guy was kind of a know-it-all. He probably googled diving and used the first out of context data he found to try and sound smart.

In another web forum a discussion wandered into scuba diving and someone posted, "and those cave divers... can you imagine going into a cave like that, never knowing if you'll make it out alive?"

 

[Gombessa]

It was really strange that he had heard of "Navy dive tables" yet was 100% ignorant of the rest. But the guy was kind of a know-it-all. He probably googled diving and used the first out of context data he found to try and sound smart.

What a macroverbumsciolist.

In another web forum a discussion wandered into scuba diving and someone posted, "and those cave divers... can you imagine going into a cave like that, never knowing if you'll make it out alive?"

The funny thing is, if everyone going into a cave thought like that, we'd probably eliminate the vast majority of cave fatalities.

 

[ianw2]

What a macroverbumsciolist.

So where are the big words in Navy Dive Tables? , he asked after consulting the on-line dictionary to find out what the really big word, "macroverbumsciolost" meant.

 

[Ed L.]

From my wife "Honey. Whats a P valve?"

 

[Jeff Toorish]

At a very busy dive ship in Dominican Republic:

Divemaster: How much weight do you need?

Diver: I'm not sure ---usually six.

Divemaster: Six what?

Diver: I'm really not sure, just give me six.

Divemaster: Six pounds, six kilos, six pieces?

Diver: I really don't know.

Incidentally, that diver was completing his AOW course that day.

Jeff