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In Bonaire, I always get this..

'Excuse me, is that a drysuit?'
Yes
'Why are you wearing a drysuit down here?'

---------- Post Merged at 12:15 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 12:06 PM ----------

Mark, you 'like' a lot of posts. You're likeable. Like for reals.
 
How about: I have some dive "gears" for sale.
I find that this collocation jumps out at me as well, but I recognize that it's a language variety issue. Some native speaker dialects of English do make that into a countable noun when in American and British English it's not countable. But language varieties have (wait for it....) variation. So while you and I don't sell "gears" for diving, neither do we step off a "kerb" or refer to the yard around our house as the "compound" or "off" the light, or any of seemingly limitless variations on English language usage.
:ijs:
 
I have a fin with L on it, where's the R for my other foot?
Um, I don't have an R, but I've got an S--the very next letter in the alphabet. Wanna try that one?
 
It's cold, dark, barren, surgey, swelly with 3 foot viz, but my gear is already wet so i'm committed.
 
To the boat captain at the start of a dive: "Please don't leave until I get back."

From the same diver to a differentcaptain at the end of the dive: "What do you mean, this isn't the boat I cam out on?"

To the first boat captain again: "All these dive boats look alike; they all have that same red and white flag. You should each have different colors."
 
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A dsd once said to me he had trouble equalising, "my ears make a funny squeaking noise when I blow, here listen.......... Did you hear it?" Almost drowned from laughing
I don't have much of a problem clearing, but after 18 dives in short order, I can clear my ears on land and you can hear it 10' away.

FWIW - it's REALLY fun to do in a quiet restaurant at lunch :)

---------- Post Merged at 04:24 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 03:52 PM ----------

DM/second capt. at the back of the boat giving the speech about everyone having their butts parked on a cushion while they bring the boat into dock "Keep your hands, arms and legs INSIDE the boat and make sure you are sitting on a yellow cushion until we are finished docking - It's always nice to end the day with the same number of body parts as you started with"

This said as I am sitting on the deck swapping my dive leg over to may walking leg prosthetic. With 11 other divers on board. They all looked at me. I looked back. Suddenly everyone on board is about to pass out laughing, and poor Capt. Brian's turning as red as he could get.
 

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