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Sh*t Scuba Divers Say

Discussion in 'Humor, Games, Clips, Yarns and Tales' started by Mark Derail, Feb 2, 2012.

  1. jepuskar

    jepuskar Instructor, Scuba

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: Chicago, IL
    5,367
    68
    48
    In Bonaire, I always get this..

    'Excuse me, is that a drysuit?'
    Yes
    'Why are you wearing a drysuit down here?'

    ---------- Post Merged at 12:15 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 12:06 PM ----------

    Mark, you 'like' a lot of posts. You're likeable. Like for reals.
     
    Jax and Mark Derail like this.
  2. cbm32

    cbm32 Manta Ray

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: I am bi-coastal. Michigan and SoCal
    911
    359
    63
    How about: I have some dive "gears" for sale.
     
    avengerki and Mark Derail like this.
  3. Quero

    Quero Will be missed Rest in Peace

    # of Dives: I just don't log dives
    Location: Phuket, Thailand
    9,494
    2,246
    0
    I find that this collocation jumps out at me as well, but I recognize that it's a language variety issue. Some native speaker dialects of English do make that into a countable noun when in American and British English it's not countable. But language varieties have (wait for it....) variation. So while you and I don't sell "gears" for diving, neither do we step off a "kerb" or refer to the yard around our house as the "compound" or "off" the light, or any of seemingly limitless variations on English language usage.
    :ijs:
     
    Mark Derail and Jax like this.
  4. JamesK

    JamesK Solo Diver

    # of Dives:
    Location: SW Florida
    3,283
    1,048
    0
    You can just take the long hose from my mouth and put it in yours.
     
    Mark Derail and Jax like this.
  5. Quero

    Quero Will be missed Rest in Peace

    # of Dives: I just don't log dives
    Location: Phuket, Thailand
    9,494
    2,246
    0
    Um, I don't have an R, but I've got an S--the very next letter in the alphabet. Wanna try that one?
     
    Mark Derail and Jax like this.
  6. Ste Wart

    Ste Wart Master Instructor

    # of Dives:
    Location: England
    1,613
    573
    113
    - I'm also a Technical Diver

    - Oh, you work on Oil Rigs?
     
    Mark Derail likes this.
  7. Adam Grose

    Adam Grose Solo Diver

    # of Dives: 100 - 199
    Location: Tucson, AZ
    404
    102
    43
    If I take up diving, will I hve to get my hair wet? :wink:
     
    Mark Derail likes this.
  8. Blackwood

    Blackwood DIR Practitioner

    # of Dives: None - Not Certified
    Location: Southern California
    5,535
    318
    83
    It's cold, dark, barren, surgey, swelly with 3 foot viz, but my gear is already wet so i'm committed.
     
    Mark Derail likes this.
  9. DivemasterDennis

    DivemasterDennis DivemasterDennis ScubaBoard Supporter

    # of Dives: 500 - 999
    Location: Lakewood, Colorado
    3,530
    1,542
    113
    To the boat captain at the start of a dive: "Please don't leave until I get back."

    From the same diver to a differentcaptain at the end of the dive: "What do you mean, this isn't the boat I cam out on?"

    To the first boat captain again: "All these dive boats look alike; they all have that same red and white flag. You should each have different colors."
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2012
  10. Lizard Leg

    Lizard Leg Manta Ray

    # of Dives: 200 - 499
    Location: Louisiana
    512
    129
    43
    I don't have much of a problem clearing, but after 18 dives in short order, I can clear my ears on land and you can hear it 10' away.

    FWIW - it's REALLY fun to do in a quiet restaurant at lunch :)

    ---------- Post Merged at 04:24 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 03:52 PM ----------

    DM/second capt. at the back of the boat giving the speech about everyone having their butts parked on a cushion while they bring the boat into dock "Keep your hands, arms and legs INSIDE the boat and make sure you are sitting on a yellow cushion until we are finished docking - It's always nice to end the day with the same number of body parts as you started with"

    This said as I am sitting on the deck swapping my dive leg over to may walking leg prosthetic. With 11 other divers on board. They all looked at me. I looked back. Suddenly everyone on board is about to pass out laughing, and poor Capt. Brian's turning as red as he could get.
     
    avengerki and Mark Derail like this.

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