Sh*t Scuba Divers Say

[Mark Derail]

Here's one that's out there currently, definitely room for more though:
**** Divers Say - YouTube

OK, it needs a non-British accent one, with multiple people - ideally from all those going to Invide Coz this summer.

I really liked the I CAN CESA FOREVER AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

[bletso]

We cant dive its raining

Whats wrong with that? We can't dive when it's raining, every diver knows that!!!

Dale

 

[Dan G]

Which bubble model does your computer follow?

Switching to a BP/W will fix that problem.

 

[Maples]

It's a cylinder- tanks are green and shoot projectiles

Whale Shark? What whale shark??

There's only two types of divers - those that p*ss in their wetsuit and those who lie

You should have come out yesterday, it was so much better

Put another dollar in

 

[Scuba_Jenny]

"it was like THIS big!!!"

 

[TSandM]

I'm so *&^%ing COLD!

Viz was GREAT! Must have been twenty feet or more!

Dangit, my _____'s wet. (Can be arm, chest, leg, or entire body.)

Did you see that STARFISH???

Anybody have a spare ____ (glove, hood, boot, dry suit hose, hood, mask . . . )

I'm so flipping COLD . . .

 

[Quero]

How do I know which fin goes on the right foot and which on the left?

 

[Ste Wart]

Customer: I saw this amazing fish, can you tell me what it was?

Me: Sure what did it look like?

Customer:Blue

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just saw Nemo!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just saw Dory!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I had too much weight, I kept sinking during the dive

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Does a metal backplate hurt?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

True Story: Girl returns from DSD with instructor, after having 3 mantas play at her feet

Girl " Is the next dive going to be better?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You'll die if you use a Pony
You'll die if you use a Bungeed Wing
You'll die if you hang deco bottles on your right side
You'll die if you Bungee your long hose

 

[Mark Derail]

How do I know which fin goes on the right foot and which on the left?

LOL - I actually asked that, before the course started, because one of my fins had a big L on it; stood for men's Large of course

 

[Quero]

LOL - I actually asked that, before the course started, because one of my fins had a big L on it; stood for men's Large of course

There ya go! You've got both the script and the props sorted out for that bit!
DIVER holding up a fin with a big L clearly marked on it, puzzled look at he addresses the camera: This one goes on my left foot?

or, alternatively
DIVER holding up two fins, each with a big L clearly marked on it, confused look as he shifts his gaze back and forth between them and then looks into the camera: I got a pair with two left feet!