Scuba Limericks

[Gidds]

The limerick muse has come to visit me today
While the rest of you have gone out to play
I'd rather go dive
But the limerick thread must thrive
I guess I'll just sit here and do this for the rest of the day :sigh:

 

[Gidds]

You should never eat bacon before a dive
You should wait at least an hour or five
Your tummy will grumble and growl
Your bowels will start to howl
You will have to do a Warhammer Maneuver for your buddies live :yuck:

 

[Gidds]

MOFsters make great shark bait
Especially if they are carrying too much weight
They shouldn't be nosey
And if they do they should watch where they mosey
Or else they should just resign themselves to thier fate

 

[Gidds]

I like olives in my martinis
Furthermore I think cosmopolitans are for weenies
Never drink and dive
If you want to come back alive
Only drunken divers wear silly looking beanies

 

[Gidds]

A certain place beginning with a "Z" is for diving riff-raff
Before I'd go over there I'd take up a career bathing a giraffe
They are lewd, loud, and can't follow the rules
Furthermore I bet they all pee while training in pools
To be welcome there one must commit a serious virtual diving gaff :28:

 

[Gidds]

Pelicans fly like fighter jets
I doubt pelicans make very good pets
When the pelicans come to play
Unwary divers might be in the way
Not getting "bombed" is not one of the best bets....

 

[Gidds]

How may pages of limericks can I write in a row?
I bet I can compose a lot since the board is pretty slow...
I will poetically rant and rave
And generally just barely behave
My style of limericking has sunk pretty low....:frown:

 

[Gidds]

Everybody should dive wearing 7mm of neoprene
It will keep you tropical warm as you descend into the frigid green
Waters of New England are filled with marine life
Getting down to see it shouldn't be cause for strife
To go diving in the Far Frozen North you really must be pretty keen...

 

[Gidds]

I hate a leaky mask
If it floods constantly I'd rather sit on the beach and bask
Water up my nose
Generally it really blows
I'd rather go mix chemicals in a flask...

 

[Gidds]

I'm going to write limericks until they come out my nose
And spill out onto the floor over my toes
Limericks are good
Limericks are great
I'll write limericks all day since I really suck at prose...