CathyI8205
Contributor
Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobic class pulls a hamstring.
Women over 50 dont have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
One of lifes mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.
The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
The nice part about living in a small town is that when you dont know what youre doing, someone else does.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, You know sometimes I just forget to eat. Now Ive forgotten my address, my mothers maiden name, and my keys. But Ive never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesnt really care.
They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isnt all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, Body, howd you like to go to the six oclock class in vigorous toning? Clear as a bell my body said, listen witch... do it and die.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him..)
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
I know what Victorias Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
If men can run the world, why cant they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
Women over 50 dont have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
One of lifes mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.
The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
The nice part about living in a small town is that when you dont know what youre doing, someone else does.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, You know sometimes I just forget to eat. Now Ive forgotten my address, my mothers maiden name, and my keys. But Ive never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesnt really care.
They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isnt all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, Body, howd you like to go to the six oclock class in vigorous toning? Clear as a bell my body said, listen witch... do it and die.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him..)
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
I know what Victorias Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
If men can run the world, why cant they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
