Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here

[santafejoe]

Labrador retrievers-one brown, one yellow and one black-were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office when they struck up a conversation. The black lab turned to the brown and said, "So why are you here?"
The brown lab replied, "I'm a wetter. I wet on everything-the sofa, the drapes, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I wet in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"

"Gonna give me Prozac," came the reply from the brown lab. "All the vets are prescribing it. It works for everything."

The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, "Why are you here?"

The yellow lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch."

"So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired.

"Looks like Prozac for me too," the dejected yellow lab said.

The yellow lab then turned to the black lab and asked, "Why are you at the vet's office?"

"I'm a humper," the black lab said "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started humping away."

The yellow and brown labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, Prozac for you too, huh?"

The black lab said, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."

 

[chewie]

Wanna get laid?

Crawl up a chicken's *** and wait.

 

[santafejoe]

That s a good one

 

[kilo_fox]

A man says to his doctor, "Doctor, my wife needs an appendix operation."
His doctor says, "But I took out your wife’s appendix only a year ago. Have you ever heard of anyone with a second appendix?"
The man replies, "No you jerk! Have you ever heard of a second wife!?"

 

[santafejoe]

A man says to his doctor, "Doctor, my wife needs an appendix operation."
His doctor says, "But I took out your wife’s appendix only a year ago. Have you ever heard of anyone with a second appendix?"
The man replies, "No you jerk! Have you ever heard of a second wife!?"

That s a good one LMFAO

 

[santafejoe]

Medical Miracle--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section
of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose,
and then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.

The man went back to his reading.

A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue,
wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently once more.

Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious
about the shuddering.

A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before
she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and
said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped
your
nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?

"I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition;
whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never
heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"

The woman nodded, "...Pepper"

 

[mlkco]

The Dance

There was a high school freshman who was very self concious and could not even bring himself to talk to girls.
He was self concious because he had a BB gun accident and lost his right eye.
His family was too poor to get him a glass eye so his uncle made him a wooden one.

He had no friends but his science teacher talked him into going to the Friday night school dance.
He didn't know but the same teacher also talked a very nice, painfully shy young lady into going to the dance.
Her only flaw was a scar from a surgically repaired cleft palate.
She always held her hand over her mouth and avoided people.
They were both standing at opposite sides of the room, each by themselves.
The teacher then with much coaxing talked the boy into asking the girl for a dance.

The boy was so scared but finally went up to the girl and said "Would you like to dance with me?"

The girl beamed and was so excited she said "Would I"
The boy was broken and screamed "Hair lip"

 

[sandshaker]

1st male engineer...........

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=2028145113

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

Labrador retrievers-one brown, one yellow and one black-were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office when they struck up a conversation. The black lab turned to the brown and said, "So why are you here?"
The brown lab replied, "I'm a wetter. I wet on everything-the sofa, the drapes, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I wet in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"

"Gonna give me Prozac," came the reply from the brown lab. "All the vets are prescribing it. It works for everything."

The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, "Why are you here?"

The yellow lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch."

"So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired.

"Looks like Prozac for me too," the dejected yellow lab said.

The yellow lab then turned to the black lab and asked, "Why are you at the vet's office?"

"I'm a humper," the black lab said "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started humping away."

The yellow and brown labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, Prozac for you too, huh?"

The black lab said, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."

 

[m3830431]

The Dance

There was a high school freshman who was very self concious and could not even bring himself to talk to girls.
He was self concious because he had a BB gun accident and lost his right eye.
His family was too poor to get him a glass eye so his uncle made him a wooden one.

He had no friends but his science teacher talked him into going to the Friday night school dance.
He didn't know but the same teacher also talked a very nice, painfully shy young lady into going to the dance.
Her only flaw was a scar from a surgically repaired cleft palate.
She always held her hand over her mouth and avoided people.
They were both standing at opposite sides of the room, each by themselves.
The teacher then with much coaxing talked the boy into asking the girl for a dance.

The boy was so scared but finally went up to the girl and said "Would you like to dance with me?"

The girl beamed and was so excited she said "Would I"
The boy was broken and screamed "Hair lip"

Old but still good