Naked Surprise

[jepuskar]

Ok, I'll admit to this one. I pulled a Naked Surprise on this woman once, actually not that long ago, but she had it coming. She teased me for too long, years actually. It was a rather odd relationship during those years leading up to the 'surprise'. We never dated or had 'relations', but we were constantly in contact, almost daily.

I really can't explain what I thought was going to be the end result or her action, but it just seemed like the thing to do.

It took her days to forgive me, but finally I had to apologize. I called her up and said "Mom, I'm so sorry for the other day, it's just you remind me a lot of my grandmother and you know how much I love her"

 

[DennisS]

Actually, you said this like a joke but I think it might be closer to the truth than you think....

From a man's perspective it's crystal clear that women control all intimacy early on in a relationship. If you're not confident (or clueless--as in my case ) enough to wait for the woman to give off some kind of signal before responding (which automatically puts you in the following roll) then anything you do will probably be seen as aggressive or intimidating.

Add to that the fact that (perhaps) the majority of men for one reason or another are unable to deal with the emotions of infatuation and love (or even lust...?) without confusing intimacy with sex and the weirdness starts to make some kind of sense...

I would submit that guys who flash to women (the ones who aren't so far gone that what they do is just criminal) are probably highly insecure to the point of mortal desperation and have absolutely no idea (a) if women like them or (b) how to communicate to women that they're open for intimacy or that they're starting to feel like they're in love.

Just a thought, but that falls right into the pattern of what you said with "I can't get anyone to touch it so I will make them look at it"

I think Mr. Romeo from the first post is a good example of what I'm saying. I would say there was a good chance he was starting to fall in love with crd_kats (Carmen?) and just didn't have the emotional or interpersonal skills to deal with that feeling. In fact, he probably would have gotten a lot further with kats if he had just looked into her eyes and said "kats, I have to tell you something....I'm starting to fall for you"

This is not to qualify or make excuses for this behaviour but I think from a man's perspective, knowing how we're socialized to be emotionally stunted boobs, I think I can sort of understand how it happens.

The sad part is that the rejection only works as feedback to further deepen the self-esteem crisis and feeling of desperation and probably does nothing at all to discourage them from doing it again....

R..

sooooooo, if you're going to spring the naked surprise, hang a little "I love you" card on it.

 

[Diver0001]

sooooooo, if you're going to spring the naked surprise, hang a little "I love you" card on it.

Dude, I wouldn't know. You should ask Jason that question. My track record with attracting women hardly makes me an expert. I'm just saying I think I can understand how some guys get so desperate that they would try the naked surprise.... the way a drowning man would try to climb up on a styrofoam cup....

R..

 

[jepuskar]

The key is not to act desperate even though you very well may be. Be interested in her hobbies, etc...but don't show much interest in getting to that fur burger. Do nice things, funny things, but dont be obvious about it. Don't just let her walk all over you because she has a nice fur burger.

Speak your mind, be attentive/assertive, but dont go after that fur burger just yet. Make her wonder why you havent...

Then when the time is right and she opens her menu for an order placement. Make it a happy meal with extra sauce, eat the meal, and then get the hell out of the restaurant and start working on a new menu at another restaurant.

 

[Diver0001]

You've been drinking, right?

 

[GeorgeC]

The key is not to act desperate even though you very well may be. Be interested in her hobbies, etc...but don't show much interest in getting to that fur burger. Do nice things, funny things, but dont be obvious about it. Don't just let her walk all over you because she has a nice fur burger.

Speak your mind, be attentive/assertive, but dont go after that fur burger just yet. Make her wonder why you havent...

Then when the time is right and she opens her menu for an order placement. Make it a happy meal with extra sauce, eat the meal, and then get the hell out of the restaurant and start working on a new menu at another restaurant.

You had me a fur burger...You had me at fur burger....

 

[jepuskar]

You've been drinking, right?

Not yet, scary isn't it?

 

[Diver0001]

Not yet, scary isn't it?

** Diver0001 puts hands on head in disbelief.

Oh dear.... I fear we've rubbed Aladin's lamp a little too hard this time...

R..

 

[jepuskar]

How did you know I referenced it as a lamp?

 

[wreckchick]

This isn't going to get any better, is it?