As a annual participant of the meet-n-greet and one who is generally concerned for the well being of my fellow divers, I volunteer myself as the designated and certified transportation officer for the certain barley-based beverages identified in previous communiques. I make this offer without mental reservation nor as a ploy for fame or profit and I shall wholeheartedly devote myself to improving the morale of all divers with equal and non-partial distribution of the aforementioned beverages. I pledge to boldly face the tyrants that threaten those who would partake in the consumption of these malty delights and combat any bourgeois liberalization who may seek to substitute an inferior beverage. I will unselfishly endure pain and hardship to ensure all enjoy the fruits of your labor and prevent the masses for labeling you as a beer-tease. I do this only for the betterment of my fellow divers and not, repeat not, for any personal desire to consume a robust, hop flavored beverage.
The last part may be a lie.....
