There was a lot of fight regarding sensitivity and insensitivity regarding the matter, which is a good thing for a supportive community, but sometimes sensitivity can translate to increase of risk and accidents/incidents.
@graphei , in any other side of the forum I would slightly reluctantly telling you that since people with professional experience have checked you off, go for it, and continue diving in safe settings. In "DIR" my understanding from my limited experience is that having panic triggers can be extremely restrictive. "DIR" thrives on standardization and on predictable behavior to an extreme detail. Diverging in any way from those, and especially if it's uncontrollably, might seriously limit your buddy options within GUE. In GUE you already "limit" yourself diving within a great, but small, community. If we assume the best scenario that you "pass" your GUE-F, but you get a panic attack during a fun dive later, news can travel fast in the local community, and I would bet that people might become more reactant diving with you. Safety is taken very seriously, and I can imagine most people would choose a dive that doesn't include the possibility that they would have to rescue themselves and their buddy at a random moment, something that in the mind of most might necessitate constant tracking of you (their buddy) which highly decreases the fun in a dive.
My medical providers who are familiar with me and the entirety of my medical history found me fit to dive. My instructors are/were aware and to my knowledge no accommodations were ever made.
That's very good.
However, I do not disclose what happened to me to every random buddy I get paired with because I do not disassociate, panic, freeze, or otherwise behave in a way that would jeopardize my safety or anyone else’s and I never have. Could I do it if I absolutely had to? Yes. You likely wouldn't even know anything was wrong with me. I'd probably do decently well with the material, too. With that said, the elevated heart rate, hit to my SAC rate, and the subsequent night terrors aren't worth it.
Maybe the thought of having something slightly touching the back of your neck could be triggering is something that has not been translated in to an incident yet, and hopefully it will never be, but as hard as it can be, without getting in details, I think your buddies should know, especially if you dive with a "DIR" mindset. You might take the 1% chances of something going wrong and triggering you, but your buddy might not, and I think hiding such thing could compromise safety for both of you. I have been in such case with a diver that almost got drown herself, and one other diver, potentially also risking DCS, due to panic attack. She came clean after the fact that she had an irrational fear of water, and she thought it would be helpful to do scuba to surpass it. Well... 20 dives later... panic kicked in. All divers in a "DIR" team are responsible for all divers in the team, thus all risks should be assessed by the team during the predive check. The ideal goal should be that you don't say anything to your buddy about any triggers, exactly because you are way past them.
If I were in your shoes, my solution won't be relying only on assessments from medical professionals or GUE Instructors. These are nothing more than informed estimations at best. You know better how you feel, how you think, and how you react, than anybody else.
Speaking for myself, I would focus on getting comfortable with things around my neck and resolving this issue, until I eliminate it completely before getting in the water for some more serious training or diving. Just being familiar with the long hose would be a major step but won't be enough for me. What would happen if you deploy DSMB, and the line get loose approaching your throat? What if a fishing line hits you close to your neck? What if you get entangled in different ways? Enough of my dives are not only for fun, but also for my work, and many things have happened, where if I was not keeping it cool, I won't be there. Admittedly, from a "DIR" perspective some of them might be due to bad planning. Sure... but unpredictable things can happen, and have happened.
People can survive without a long-hose, back kick, trim, etc. But panic attacks is a life and death situation not only for yourself, but also for your buddies, especially the good ones that would try to help you instead of leaving you and focusing taking care of themselves.
It's very fortunate and unfortunate at the same time that our brain is the most adaptive muscle we have. it responds very well to stimuli, though often with a negative bias. You have already made great breakthroughs (I can only imagine how it is to wear a necklace after such tragic event), and I can only speculate that soon you will get over it. To me, the best path is to consider scuba, or any other activity that panic can be lifethreatening after you process this fear and you pass on the other side. You are in the "DIR" forum and this looks like to me as the most DIR solution. There are no shortcuts in "DIR" the way I understand it, and they are not appreciated especially when compromising safety for yourself and for your friends.
I hope the best, and I am confident that addressing things systematically, would produce the best outcomes.
