Sometimes it's not how you dress but how you move that can get someone's attention.
If I understand how the mods work here, they only get involved when someone asks.
JUST FOR GIRLS: Do you feel creeped out when...?
- Thread starter sarahlee
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- guys hitting on you rude
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Sometimes it's not how you dress but how you move that can get someone's attention.
If I understand how the mods work here, they only get involved when someone asks.
I was always under the impression pretty avatars are actually tattooed dudes in jail.....
Just in case any of you are wondering, I am actually a drop dead gorgeous and very voluptuous young female.
How and why is this thread turning into judging by the look of the avatar what this may or may not invite? I start to feel creeped out a bit about that too, because, surely, that's everyones personal and free choice and I don't have a problem with someone looking oodles better than me.
And if and where flaunting good looks were to invite inappropriate behavior by someone else, that cannot and shall not be thought of as having been too provokative or too inviting in form of an excuse for inappropriate behavior. Everyone is responsible to control their own actions, even if that person thinks the visual stimulation was going beyond whatever standard. It's never an excuse for inappropriate behavior.
No need to moralize about appearances here imho. That should indeed be matter between fathers and daughters or between trusted confidants.
As dad I cannot help but to think:
Better nobody think they can get away with whatevee with my daughter, just because she looks good!
The issues were that the OP took offense in having received a PM that invited her to dive with someone - rightfully so or not we cannot know - and then, as I understood it, rather then letting the person who sent the PM know that that contact is not welcome, chose to publically air that other persons SB name and ask if anyone else finds that creepy.
At least thats how I understood it.
However, reversely, if there is a box of chocolates on the table and I end up eating it, it is definitely not mine, but the chocolate's fault! ...
And if and where flaunting good looks were to invite inappropriate behavior by someone else, that cannot and shall not be thought of as having been too provokative or too inviting in form of an excuse for inappropriate behavior. Everyone is responsible to control their own actions, even if that person thinks the visual stimulation was going beyond whatever standard. It's never an excuse for inappropriate behavior.
No need to moralize about appearances here imho. That should indeed be matter between fathers and daughters or between trusted confidants.
As dad I cannot help but to think:
Better nobody think they can get away with whatevee with my daughter, just because she looks good!
The issues were that the OP took offense in having received a PM that invited her to dive with someone - rightfully so or not we cannot know - and then, as I understood it, rather then letting the person who sent the PM know that that contact is not welcome, chose to publically air that other persons SB name and ask if anyone else finds that creepy.
At least thats how I understood it.
However, reversely, if there is a box of chocolates on the table and I end up eating it, it is definitely not mine, but the chocolate's fault! ...
AdivingBel
Diver
ScubaSteve85
Contributor
I'm no detective, but there must be some kind of connection here. Did their spouses see the credit card bills from their dive gear purchases? Were they sick of a bunch of AL80s taking up all the closet space?? Did they feel their spouses were spending too much time away from the family on dive boats with a bunch of random internet "dive buddies??"
Also, more on point, it's a real shame what has happened here with this thread. Obviously @sarahlee felt she was receiving inappropriate contact. I think she is probably in the best position to judge that, not us. The victim blaming I saw, with folks implying she was asking for harassment because she was in a bathing suit, was pretty shameful. Last I checked this is a scuba forum. I don't think there's anything remotely inappropriate about posting a photo of yourself in a bathing suit on a dive boat. Contrary to what we as guys would like to believe, that's not an open invitation.
oldschoolto
Contributor
It's not "blaming"... It's knowing that you may get unwanted looks... This is always a very hard thing to talk about.. You should be able to walk down the street with $100 bills sticking out of your pockets and feel safe...
Jim....
Jim....
Meh. She looks great in her avatar. No one should feel ashamed about looking good.
In my mind, I don't think the user she was complaining about did anything wrong. It's more of a miscommunication.
Jealousy. In both cases, they were growing apart and the spouse took exception to it. Both happened right after dive trips, and ScubaBoard was a part of the description in their phone book.
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I agree with you, but nothing exists in a vacum. Everybody has an avatar, and the abilty to post photos of themselves. Most do not post bikini photos here (this is not Fakebook), so it stands out when someone does. That it may attract some less than innocent attention should not be a surpise, here, there, anywhere. It's the red dress phenomenon. I would hope that most women know this.
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