JUST FOR GIRLS: Do you feel creeped out when...?

[lv2dive]

Honestly in truth I found the OP a bit odd... but I thought I'd express how I would deal this sort of thing as reference, bc it would be a complete non-issue for me.

On Facebook I have people friend me who I don't know and after not accepting a few requests from people I *thought* I didn't know, and then getting real life inquiries as to why I didn't accept the reqyest, I just accept most requests now. HOWEVER.... when someone I clearly don't know starts a conversation with me (that has no context of a mutual friend or anything), I politely withdraw from the conversation and if they persist I unfriend, then (would) block - although it's ever gotten that far.

If someone liked my posts and followed me on Scubaboard and PMed me to dive on Scubaboard I'd take it at face value unless/until I got a creepy feeling, at which point I'd just tell them I wasn't interested getting together IRL. If they persisted in communicating with me, I'd first ask them to stop and then I'd use the ignore user feature.

Two things, I'm close to 50 not in my twenties or thirties so:
1. This is likely much less of an issue for me than the OP
2. I've had years (decades even) to come to this approach to potentially-unwanted attention on the Internet.

 

[w3dge]

The difference is that both men and women have the capability to understand how to fix cars. It is not unique to the experience of either gender. On the other hand, there are experiences that are unique to both genders and when one gender attempts to minimize or explain away the other's experience, it is a problem.

And so both men and women have the capability to understand what its like to be in uncomfortable situations. What's the difference?

So, fixing cars? No. But, you telling your wife about a dynamic on a 'guys trip' that you did not like, for example? Yeah sure, she should just listen rather than immediately claim expertise. And if something like that happens, go ahead tell her she's womansplaining.

No, she wouldn't be 'womansplaining'. Her talking rubbish would have absolutely nothing to do with her gender.

BTW- pointing out 'polarization' as you call it is not creating it. The polarization was there, so don't blame the messenger. I'm just pointing at it and calling it what it is rather than being politically correct about it so people aren't upset.

You aren't pointing out polarisation, you are creating it using inherently sexist terms such as 'mansplaining'. The issues you have pointed out in this thread are largely genuine, I have no problem with that. Its the use of sexist terminology to put a name to these issues I have a problem with. And I'll repeat, you yourself explained that other women were also part of the problem, so how can you justify calling it 'mansplaining'?

 

[diver0008]

And so both men and women have the capability to understand what its like to be in uncomfortable situations. What's the difference?

No, she wouldn't be 'womansplaining'. Her talking rubbish would have absolutely nothing to do with her gender.

You aren't pointing out polarisation, you are creating it using inherently sexist terms such as 'mansplaining'. The issues you have pointed out in this thread are largely genuine, I have no problem with that. Its the use of sexist terminology to put a name to these issues I have a problem with. And I'll repeat, you yourself explained that other women were also part of the problem, so how can you justify calling it 'mansplaining'?

I am seeing this trend more and more: creating the impression of a problem where none exists to facilitate virtue signalling.

 

[Bubblesong]

How about some "Mom-Splaining"? OP is of my kids generation who have grown up warned against BOTH Internets stalkers AND cyber bullying, in which names and derision are posted without permission causing innocent people discomfort.
I would say we all learned something about mutual respect in this discussion.

 

[Steve_C]

"Follow" as I understand it means you want to see what somebody posts.

I post some dive pictures on facebook in a pretty much picture only personal page. I have some followers there.

I post research results in a research forum. I have several hundred followers there.

I may even have a follower or two on SB. No idea.

"Like" just means for whatever reason you liked the post or wanted to give it a smile. On some other forums I frequently like new posters just so they feel that some one appreciated that they posted. There is not a "welcome" button so we click the "like" button.

At this point in life I have seen enough appropriate/inappropriate actions by every race, gender, and nationality toward each other with and without cause, that without some hard data, I do not automatically assume that what a person says is actually the case. I can be sympathetic or understanding but I do not assume the version I hear first is correct. I have seen too many cases where it turned out not to be or if true was highly distorted sometimes innocently, sometimes not. I am sure my experience is not unusual in that regard.

 

[gypsyjim]

I have not suggested that OP was wrong to be concerned, or to ask her question. It was the wording of her thread title that attracted attention.

As someone who helped teach self defense for a decade, I am a firm believer in listening to your instincts (or as some put it: "listening to you gut")

I merely observed that the fellow may just as easily have been trying to welcome her, or, even if he was trying to say Hi on a personal level, he was not inherently evil for trying, once.

He could also have had very bad intentions.

I also mentioned that a fellow not accepting No, IS crossing a line.

We simply can not be inside the head of either party, so all the rest of us in this thread are just playing "what if", or maybe "Devil's Advocate".


The man involved could very well have been a predator, or not.

OP could have been totally in tune with the situation, or not.


Still, this entire discussion has been educational,and somewhat entertaining.