JUST FOR GIRLS: Do you feel creeped out when...?

[Dan G]

Are men's opinions and ideas now of lesser value?

Do we now need to divide and identify opinions and ideas along sexist lines?

It seems to be the more effort put into trying to accuse sexist (racist, islamist, etc.) ideas, the more a reverse and apparently venegeful effect appears.

The projection of malice.

If you look for something hard enough, you will find it. If not, you can just pretend.

When a man's (singular) opinion is an attempt to explain away a woman's fears/concerns, then I certainly take it at less value. Few wanted to even acknowledge that she had a legitimate reason for concern and went as far to say that perhaps her avatar invited unwanted advances.

One doesn't need to look too hard at the thread to see a woman's concerns devalued by several people. (and yes, women can do this to other women too) What makes it 'mansplaining' is that multiple men saw fit to reply immediately with "advice." They did not even allow for the possibility that perhaps they'd learn something from a few women had they simply watched and read for a while. Rather it was, "Here, let me fix this for you. And let me tell you what you did wrong." Pretty textbook stuff.

If they really felt compelled, then how about a PM with something to the effect, "Hey I'm sorry this happened. Please know that you can report creepy dudes to mods and block them too." Pretty simple.

 

[gypsyjim]

When a man's (singular) opinion is an attempt to explain away a woman's fears/concerns, then I certainly take it at less value. Few wanted to even acknowledge that she had a legitimate reason for concern and went as far to say that perhaps her avatar invited unwanted advances.

One doesn't need to look too hard at the thread to see a woman's concerns devalued by several people. (and yes, women can do this to other women too) What makes it 'mansplaining' is that multiple men saw fit to reply immediately with "advice." They did not even allow for the possibility that perhaps they'd learn something from a few women had they simply watched and read for a while. Rather it was, "Here, let me fix this for you. And let me tell you what you did wrong." Pretty textbook stuff.

If they really felt compelled, then how about a PM with something to the effect, "Hey I'm sorry this happened. Please know that you can report creepy dudes to mods and block them too." Pretty simple.

Or, and I know this is a stretch, we could just have a friendly dialog without slurs, slanders, accusations, and finger pointing, where ideas are exchanged, and everyone gets heard?

 

[gypsyjim]

I know, idealistic me.
Sorry.

 

[Maverick17]

Part of the problem might be the "follow" thing. Do people actually use that? If you've had bad experiences, I would bet it sounds weird - it does to me a bit, more than liking a post or sending a PM. I think I would never "follow" someone, I'd just follow threads or forums.

 

[kelemvor]

Part of the problem might be the "follow" thing. Do people actually use that? If you've had bad experiences, I would bet it sounds weird - it does to me a bit, more than liking a post or sending a PM. I think I would never "follow" someone, I'd just follow threads or forums.

Yes, some of us use it. Just because you might confuse it for something that it is not does not make the feature sinister in some way.

 

[Maverick17]

Yes, some of us use it. Just because you might confuse it for something that it is not does not make the feature sinister in some way.

I'm not confused at all. I was trying to politely suggest that a lot of us think an older man "following" a younger woman is creepy. (idk the named person, or how old they are, that part I am assuming/hypothetical-ing a little bit).

 

[tilikum]

The OP is gone, time to kill this thread.

 

[oldschoolto]

Maybe they should rename "following" to "stalking".... I would say I have no idea if it's a guy or a girl of most posters.. I'm sorry that we live in a world that men see a picture of a girl in a bikini top and "think" the girl wants attention... Women go to the beach to go to the beach.. Not to have people stare at what they are wearing.. But, If a women goes to the beach wearing a hot little bikini she is going to get looked at and most likely hit on.. That's the way the world works.. I would bet that had she posted a avatar that didn't provoke a second look, This whole thing may never had happened..

Jim...

 

[Dizzi Lizzi]

There are classy ways of doing things that are respectful and acknowledge the potential for that ick factor. After all, it's hard to know a persons background. When I first started on SB I had someone PM me, he mentioned what he liked in my posts, what made him think we might have common interests (besides scuba) and told me there was a way to be friends (follow) on SB. He gave me a brief synopsis of who he was, what he did and his home life. He suggested that I look at his friend list, and if I felt I fit in that I could follow him, and after that he would follow me. It was clear that the decision was mine, and that he would not follow me unless I allowed it, and the method to allow it was following him. He could of just followed me, but instead he put it in my hands. What a gentleman!!

Of course he could be a she prison for triple murder...that's how the internet works.

 

[admikar]

Just in case any of you are wondering, I am actually a drop dead gorgeous and very voluptuous young female.

No pictures with that statement? Yeah, right!

The uncomfortable part is saying saying "no" is a not hurtful way, such as, "I am so sorry but my husband will be out of jail in time to rescue our pit bulls from euthanasia after their most recent maiming of our land lord who has been readying his 12 gauge for the occasion while lurking in our weed patch and frightening my 14 children"

And.......my post in this thread ScubaBoard's greatest gift excludes you. Sorry.

If they really felt compelled, then how about a PM with something to the effect, "Hey I'm sorry this happened. Please know that you can report creepy dudes to mods and block them too." Pretty simple.

OP chose to go public, why shouldn't we do the same?